People come and go out of our lives all the time. Sometimes we notice, sometimes we don't. I saw a friend tonight who I hadn't seen in 10, maybe even 20 years. What an incredible feeling of AHA to walk into a building and see someone who was one of your best friends many moons ago!
He and I grew up together. Our families have been going to church together since we were very little. I don't remember when I met him, but I don't ever remember going to church as a kid without him. We spent years side by side in youth group. We dated for a week when we were 12. He was probably my first love. In high school, we had different circles of friends, but we stayed close. Upon our high school graduation, we moved in different directions. I honestly cannot say the last time that I remember seeing him. I've thought about him often over the years. My mom keeps me posted as to where he is and how he's doing. On the rare occasion I went back to my parents' church, I would ask his mom and sister how he's doing, and ask them to tell him that I have been thinking about him and that I say hello.
I was visiting my parents for Thanksgiving, and we had all planned on going into church for the annual Christmas tree decorating. It used to be called "Hanging of the Greens" which was always very amusing, because there was a family who attended church regularly, named the Greens. It was always great fun to say we were going to go to church to hang them! (Jokingly, of course!) Not too long before we were suppose to leave, my youngest fell asleep. I wasn't about to tempt my luck by waking him up and risk having him be cranky all evening. I'd much rather let the boy sleep, especially after we just got done warding off the dreaded Stomach Bug. So everyone else left to go to church, and the boy and I stayed behind.
He slept for an hour or so, then woke up on his own, still a little cranky but manageable. I fed him some Cheerios (I think that's all he ate all day long was Cheerios) and we were just bumming around when my cell phone rang. It was my mom calling, and she said, "I just wanted to let you know that Lynn is here." Before she even finished her sentence, I dropped whatever it was I was doing and ran to grab my shoes. I threw shoes and jackets on both of us, ran to the car and strapped him in his carseat as fast as I could. After closing the garage door, I cut across my parents' lawn to get back to the car. I was running, it was dark, and being the creature of grace that I am, I ran smack into a tree branch. It scratched the top of my eyelid, but I didn't care. I had to get to church! When you've been waiting years for an opportunity to present itself, you don't let a scratched eyelid stop you!
As my son and I walked up to the front door of the church, a flood of memories came back to me. I could remember "listening" to sermons, sitting in the back pews with my friends. I could remember sleep overs the youth group had and when we got in trouble for running through the church. I remember searching for hidden passageways in all the back hallways. I remember cooking breakfasts in the kitchen of the church on Father's Day. I remember using the hymns to practice singing harmonies, and trying to sight read from the hymnals. Then I opened the door and walked in. There he was. He was just coming down the stairs toward the front door, and he said, "And look at this lady!" I had the biggest smile on my face and I hugged him tight. It took a lot of restraint not to scream like ... well, like a 12 year old school girl!
I can't even explain the feeling of joy that swept over me. To be given a second chance at a friendship that had disappeared so many years ago is total and complete AHA at it's finest. He introduced me to his family and I introduced him to mine. I gave him my phone number and email and he promised to email me the next day. It was a brief encounter, but somehow so satisfying to see and talk with him again. He said he was really glad my mom called me, and I couldn't wipe the goofy smile off my face for anything! It was absolutely wonderful to have that friendship suddenly brought back to life, almost like it had never disappeared. I missed this friend terribly when he left my life, and I'm so incredibly happy to have him back. Never give up on a good friendship. You never know when you may be surprised by getting it back!
The "Perfect" Gift
Christmas shopping stresses me out. I am notorious for being a last minute Christmas shopper. There has been a time or two when I'm the poor sap pounding on a storefront door at closing time on Christmas eve, pleading to be let in. I also don't consider myself a very intuitive shopper, most of the time. There are those people who can walk into a store and within 15 minutes find the "perfect" gift for someone. I am not usually one of those people. I'm the type that has to search and search, then spend an hour deciding if I should actually get it or not.
There have, however, also been times when I thought that I had come up with the "perfect" gift. Cognitively, I know that the point of giving gifts is not to win any sort of contest or to prove "I'm better than you" or anything like that. But somehow, sometimes, I can't help but wonder if my gifts are "good enough." If the intended recipient will hold the same meaning for the gift that I do. If the gift will be as "perfect" as I think it is.
I also know that gift-giving isn't always about the money that's spent or buying material objects just to say you bought another person a gift. Gift-giving is about giving part of you. Showering your friends and loved ones with objects, gestures, thoughts, or actions that make them happy, that bring them joy. The beauty of giving gifts from the heart is that it makes you happy, as well as the recipient. And that's what it's all about- spreading joy, happiness and love.
I try to make a lot of gifts for Christmas. And I ask my kids to do the same. For me, having something made by the kids far outweighs any amount of money someone could spend. I've tried hard to teach my kids the spirit of giving. We've done Toys for Tots, and I've explained that we are buying a small gift for a child who doesn't have as much as we do. Last year, I handed my 9-year-old the card-making supplies and let him do his own. I hang the homemade ornaments from school on the tree proudly. The spirit of giving is so important, and in my opinion, too many kids are either losing that spirit or not getting it in the first place. Not my kids. At least not while they live with me. Both the older ones have offered at various times to give toys or clothes that have become unwanted or outgrown to a friend. Even if we don't always follow through, I think it's incredibly awesome that the thought pattern is in their head to offer it. That says something about them. And that makes me proud.
We've been trying to brainstorm some things that we could get or make for various family members for Christmas this year. My kids have actually come up with some pretty decent ideas. And they say they are willing to help bake cookies, put up the tree and decorate the house. (We'll see how well all that goes.) We're probably going to do Toys for Tots or some other similar program. We'll give homebaked cookies to the neighbors. We'll make our Christmas cards. Doing these types of projects with the kids is what makes the holidays special to me. And it teaches them - AND me - that it doesn't matter if the gift itself is "good enough" but rather if the act of creating and giving makes those involved happy enough. Give with love. That's all that matters.
There have, however, also been times when I thought that I had come up with the "perfect" gift. Cognitively, I know that the point of giving gifts is not to win any sort of contest or to prove "I'm better than you" or anything like that. But somehow, sometimes, I can't help but wonder if my gifts are "good enough." If the intended recipient will hold the same meaning for the gift that I do. If the gift will be as "perfect" as I think it is.
I also know that gift-giving isn't always about the money that's spent or buying material objects just to say you bought another person a gift. Gift-giving is about giving part of you. Showering your friends and loved ones with objects, gestures, thoughts, or actions that make them happy, that bring them joy. The beauty of giving gifts from the heart is that it makes you happy, as well as the recipient. And that's what it's all about- spreading joy, happiness and love.
I try to make a lot of gifts for Christmas. And I ask my kids to do the same. For me, having something made by the kids far outweighs any amount of money someone could spend. I've tried hard to teach my kids the spirit of giving. We've done Toys for Tots, and I've explained that we are buying a small gift for a child who doesn't have as much as we do. Last year, I handed my 9-year-old the card-making supplies and let him do his own. I hang the homemade ornaments from school on the tree proudly. The spirit of giving is so important, and in my opinion, too many kids are either losing that spirit or not getting it in the first place. Not my kids. At least not while they live with me. Both the older ones have offered at various times to give toys or clothes that have become unwanted or outgrown to a friend. Even if we don't always follow through, I think it's incredibly awesome that the thought pattern is in their head to offer it. That says something about them. And that makes me proud.
We've been trying to brainstorm some things that we could get or make for various family members for Christmas this year. My kids have actually come up with some pretty decent ideas. And they say they are willing to help bake cookies, put up the tree and decorate the house. (We'll see how well all that goes.) We're probably going to do Toys for Tots or some other similar program. We'll give homebaked cookies to the neighbors. We'll make our Christmas cards. Doing these types of projects with the kids is what makes the holidays special to me. And it teaches them - AND me - that it doesn't matter if the gift itself is "good enough" but rather if the act of creating and giving makes those involved happy enough. Give with love. That's all that matters.
Deriving AHA from Disappointment
After yesterday's and last night's "adventures" I wasn't really expecting a whole lot out of today. And it was good that my expectations were low, because we did a whole lot of nothing for a good part of the day.
The 3 kids and I sat on the couch and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which was great fun! We were all fascinated by the marching bands, the dancers, the singers, the Rockettes, the floats and of course all the balloons. They asked repeatedly if we could go see the parade live sometime. I know better than to promise my kids anything, unless I am absolutely, positively, 100 percent, guaranteed sure that I can deliver. Needless to say, I don't promise my kids much. But I have a list of things in the back of my head that I want to do with them. The Macy's Parade was just added to that list. I'm thankful that I have the capability to take the kids on trips every now and then, even small ones.
After the parade (and after my daughter finally threw up), I spent the next 3 hours drifting in and out of sleep on the couch. The kids, who were all feeling much better, played together in the living room, making obstacle courses for each other to climb over and through, playing "horsey" on my oldest, and imagining their way through the afternoon. I am extremely thankful that all 3 of them have a never-ending imagination, and they can all occupy each other for hours.
Once the kids were dressed and had gone to their grandparent's house, I managed to get up and take a shower. I was definitely thankful for the shower. I always feel better after a shower. I had canceled dinner plans with friends because I couldn't move off the couch. Now I was mobile, but felt compelled to cancel the dessert plans I had so not to infect my gracious hosts. Again, plans were thrown out the window. Still, I have so much to be thankful for that it's not fair for me to complain about missing dinner.
Before I had the aforementioned dinner and dessert plans, I had been thinking that maybe I would volunteer at a soup kitchen or something similar. I've never had to be alone during the holidays, and my heart goes out to those who have. This year, I spent part of Thanksgiving Day alone. But I was alone in the comfort of my warm house, after being freshly showered and wearing clean clothes. All of these are things to be thankful for.
My life is not perfect. But I am, perhaps, the luckiest person in the world. Happy Thanksgiving.
The 3 kids and I sat on the couch and watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, which was great fun! We were all fascinated by the marching bands, the dancers, the singers, the Rockettes, the floats and of course all the balloons. They asked repeatedly if we could go see the parade live sometime. I know better than to promise my kids anything, unless I am absolutely, positively, 100 percent, guaranteed sure that I can deliver. Needless to say, I don't promise my kids much. But I have a list of things in the back of my head that I want to do with them. The Macy's Parade was just added to that list. I'm thankful that I have the capability to take the kids on trips every now and then, even small ones.
After the parade (and after my daughter finally threw up), I spent the next 3 hours drifting in and out of sleep on the couch. The kids, who were all feeling much better, played together in the living room, making obstacle courses for each other to climb over and through, playing "horsey" on my oldest, and imagining their way through the afternoon. I am extremely thankful that all 3 of them have a never-ending imagination, and they can all occupy each other for hours.
Once the kids were dressed and had gone to their grandparent's house, I managed to get up and take a shower. I was definitely thankful for the shower. I always feel better after a shower. I had canceled dinner plans with friends because I couldn't move off the couch. Now I was mobile, but felt compelled to cancel the dessert plans I had so not to infect my gracious hosts. Again, plans were thrown out the window. Still, I have so much to be thankful for that it's not fair for me to complain about missing dinner.
Before I had the aforementioned dinner and dessert plans, I had been thinking that maybe I would volunteer at a soup kitchen or something similar. I've never had to be alone during the holidays, and my heart goes out to those who have. This year, I spent part of Thanksgiving Day alone. But I was alone in the comfort of my warm house, after being freshly showered and wearing clean clothes. All of these are things to be thankful for.
My life is not perfect. But I am, perhaps, the luckiest person in the world. Happy Thanksgiving.
"We Plan" ... Well, You Know the Rest
I love to cook and bake, and to make big meals. Generally, I look forward to making things from scratch. Holidays are usually a big deal to me. Surrounding myself with family, friends and food are a highlight. I planned to make Thanksgiving dinner for the kids tonight. A day early, I know, but it seems that holiday plans are going to be shifted from now on, compared to what I've been used to.
I went to the store and bought all the necessary components - rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, spinach (my kids actually eat it), crescent rolls, bananas for making banana bread (which my daughter has been asking for) and a pumpkin pie. I set the dining room table with a dark green tablecloth, matching plates and silverware for us all, 3 wine glasses for the 2 older kids and I and a sippy cup for the youngest, and I lit three candles.
When the kids came home I had just about everything ready. Only, they didn't want to eat. The stomach bug had hit the youngest a few days ago, and he's been reluctant to eat dinner lately. Seems that the bug has started moving through our family. My oldest son has complained of an upset stomach for a day or so, and instead of eating dinner, he spent the evening lying on the couch. My daughter humored me by taking a few bites of chicken and drinking milk with me from wine glasses. We clinked glasses and "cheersed" a few times, which made us both happy. But that was the extent of our Thanksgiving dinner.
I wanted to do something special with them, so I offered them a sleepover in the living room. We lined up the sleeping bags on the floor and watched "Lion King 1 1/2" (which is a great movie, focusing on the adventures of Timone and Pumbaa). My youngest seems to be the only one who was spared from the dreaded stomach bug this time. My oldest had thrown up earlier and was still recovering, my daughter wasn't feeling well and was not acting like herself, and at 3:15 in the morning, I finally got hit.
Today didn't go as planned. What is it they say-"We plan and God laughs" I think? Yeah, I believe that to be true. Anyway, I am thankful that I got to spend a little bit of time with my kids, and they seemed to enjoy themselves for the most part, despite the uninvited guest. My oldest said he was bummed he couldn't eat dinner. He said it smelled very good, and asked me to save him a drumstick. They all laughed at the movie, and they all said they had a good time sleeping in the living room with me. Only next time, I'm getting an air mattress. I'm thankful that I can provide them with days like today that they will remember, even if it's not for the traditional reasons!
I went to the store and bought all the necessary components - rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, spinach (my kids actually eat it), crescent rolls, bananas for making banana bread (which my daughter has been asking for) and a pumpkin pie. I set the dining room table with a dark green tablecloth, matching plates and silverware for us all, 3 wine glasses for the 2 older kids and I and a sippy cup for the youngest, and I lit three candles.
When the kids came home I had just about everything ready. Only, they didn't want to eat. The stomach bug had hit the youngest a few days ago, and he's been reluctant to eat dinner lately. Seems that the bug has started moving through our family. My oldest son has complained of an upset stomach for a day or so, and instead of eating dinner, he spent the evening lying on the couch. My daughter humored me by taking a few bites of chicken and drinking milk with me from wine glasses. We clinked glasses and "cheersed" a few times, which made us both happy. But that was the extent of our Thanksgiving dinner.
I wanted to do something special with them, so I offered them a sleepover in the living room. We lined up the sleeping bags on the floor and watched "Lion King 1 1/2" (which is a great movie, focusing on the adventures of Timone and Pumbaa). My youngest seems to be the only one who was spared from the dreaded stomach bug this time. My oldest had thrown up earlier and was still recovering, my daughter wasn't feeling well and was not acting like herself, and at 3:15 in the morning, I finally got hit.
Today didn't go as planned. What is it they say-"We plan and God laughs" I think? Yeah, I believe that to be true. Anyway, I am thankful that I got to spend a little bit of time with my kids, and they seemed to enjoy themselves for the most part, despite the uninvited guest. My oldest said he was bummed he couldn't eat dinner. He said it smelled very good, and asked me to save him a drumstick. They all laughed at the movie, and they all said they had a good time sleeping in the living room with me. Only next time, I'm getting an air mattress. I'm thankful that I can provide them with days like today that they will remember, even if it's not for the traditional reasons!
Countdown, Part 2
Thanksgiving countdown continued. More of what I am thankful for...
- The internet. Sounds shallow and silly, but the internet (and Facebook specifically) has connected and reconnected me with people I never would have met otherwise. There are at least a couple dozen highschool friends who I figured I'd never talk to again, who I interact with on a fairly regular basis thanks to Facebook. There are a dozen or more people that I have "randomly" met on Facebook who have helped me stay strong during this challenging year. Greatly appreciated.
- My camera. Not meaning to be materialistic, but my camera is one material thing that I would definitely not want to give up. The camera allows me to capture incredible moments, thereby allowing me to make incredible scrapbooks documenting everything that is important in my life.
- My job. Even on days when I hate my job, I am thankful to have one. And overall, it's not such a bad gig.
- My involvement in music. Again, in the department of "Life takes you where to need to be," my involvement in various musical endeavors goes back to when I was very young. It was never a career for me, but music introduced me to many of the people I am still friends with today. It allowed me confidence, creativity, friendships and love. And some of the best advice I've ever gotten: "Step in it."
Countodown, Part 1
Let the Thanksgiving countdown begin! I have stated in posts before specific things that I am thankful for, and that which brings me AHA, but since the Thanksgiving holiday is just around the corner, I feel it's fairly appropriate to reiterate how many blessings I have in my life. And the purpose of this is not to brag or show off how many things I have to be thankful for, but to help remind everyone that no matter the situation, there is always something that can bring you moments of AHA and always blessings to count.
- Friends. Friends, friends, friends... I would not be who I am today, or have been able to accomplish what I have without the wonderful support of loving friends, who have stuck by me no matter what. I believe it to be true that the people who are most important to you will accept you for exactly who you are, support anything you do, and share in anything you are passionate about. These are the people worth having in your life, and I am beyond lucky to have so many.
- Family. Much like my friends have, my family has also helped shape who I am. My family is crazy, sometimes bordering on clinically insane I think, but that's part of what makes them all so incredible. My family has always been there to bail me out when I needed it, they've always taken care of me, and they've always been supportive of me. I am very lucky to have the family that I do.
- My kids. I had no idea that having kids would change me so much. For better or worse (maybe a little of both) I have grown, learned, relearned, grown some more, freaked out, questioned everything I had learned and done, re-relearned and grown even more. I never imagined that I could love as much as I love my 3 children. After we had the first two, we were done. When I found out I was pregnant again, I cried. That was not in "the plan." Most plans I have seem to get crumpled up and tossed out the window at the most inopportune time, but as I have been reminded many times, there have been no wrong turns in my life. I have 3 kids for a reason, and I would not give any of them up for anything. They bring a smile to my face every day, they make me laugh, they rub my back when I give them a hug, they kiss my hand and tell me to hold on to it tight, they believe in me, they trust me, and they love me unconditionally. The sweetest words I've ever heard are "I love you past space, Mama."
Boston AHA
I visited a friend in Boston this weekend, and was showered with AHA left and right! We were very close friends in college and although I've seen him periodically since we graduated, he has lived in Boston 9 years and I hadn't visited. He was sure to point this out to me every chance he got!
After 6 boring hours on the New York Thruway/Massachusettes Turnpike, hitting stop and go traffic on the Turnpike just a few miles before the exit I was suppose to take, and getting some serious restlessness, my tolerance level had plummeted. I was ecstatic to just get out of the car when I finally reached his place. And it helped immensely that he was standing in the middle of the street doing a dance to show me which driveway to pull into! I met a couple of his friends and we almost immediately hit the local watering holes. Which, after the aforementioned annoyances, was just fine with me.
I spent the evening meeting people, having drinks, engaging in conversations, picking on my host (his friends helped, of course) and being told that I have to watch the Will Farrell movie, "Old School," because I didn't understand the one-liners and references that were thrown around. A marvelous time, all around. We finally returned to his place around midnight, and he did indeed make me watch "Old School" (which I realized I had seen before, just didn't remember most of it).
Saturday morning, my wonderful friend cooked breakfast for me and we drank coffee (which was AHA in and of itself - he prewarmed the mugs by letting a bit of hot water sit in it, before dumping it out then pouring in the coffee. Brilliant!) while watching old college bar band videos. Hysterically fabulous!! It brought back all sorts of incredible memories to watch myself and my friends play. And I realized how incredibly talented my friends are, how talented they were even back then, 10 or more years ago! Makes me want to dig the guitar out of the closet and learn how to play it. Seriously. AHA- it's never too late to do what you want, and it's usually not as difficult as you might think. Make the time for it.
After a couple hours of reliving our glory days of college bar bands, we hit the streets. Literally. We walked all over Boston, and it was wonderful! We went through the financial district, to the top of the Prudential Building, to Quincy (pronounced 'QuinZy') Market, to the spot of the Boston Massacre, to Backbay, to the Holocaust Memorial to I'm not even sure where else. We took the T (subway) and had to go up an escalator that felt like we were ascending to the surface from the depths of Hell (it was a -very- long escalator). And I loved every single minute. I loved every minute of walking, of being with him, of learning about Boston's history (he's kind of a history geek, and he'll tell you so), of catching up with him and the goings-on of each of our lives. AHA flew all around me, and I loved every -single- moment.
We met up with a couple of his friends whom I had met the day before, had Tex-Mex and margaritas for dinner, then walked for a bit, passed up a few places that were either too crowded or too expensive, and found oursleves in the "old stand by" dive bar. They've nicknamed it 88, because the atmosphere reminds them of 1988- the DJ, the music, the regulars, the hookups, the drinks, the attitudes... everything. We had also gone there the previous night, and my friend was disgusted with this choice of venue. "I can't believe you drove 6 hours from Upstate New York and I'm dragging you to a dive bar... TWICE!" But I did not care. It was great fun, and again filled with AHA in all sorts of ways. I realized that it was possible for me to step out of my comfort attitude and put on a little sass. I began to strike up conversations with people I had just met and didn't feel terribly out of place about it. I was in a completely unfamiliar place with mostly unfamiliar people, and I didn't feel too terribly uncomfortable. These are big steps of AHA for me.
Sunday morning we once again had coffee in prewarmed mugs (brilliant!) and we watched a film that discusses the disconnect and potential marriage between science and philosophy. Without getting too much into detail, I will say that I was surprised to hear many of the participating scientists reiterate what I had learned from the spiritual teacher Nithya Shanti a couple of months ago. That basically, our thoughts can control just about anything in our lives. One thing in particular that I can remember is an experiment conducted by scientists in Japan. Water from once source was put into multiple plastic bottles and a label was taped to the outside of each bottle. The water was then frozen, and later inspected under a microscope. On the bottles that had a "positive" label, the scientists found the ice crystals to be beautiful, symmetrical, precise. On the bottles that had a less than favorable or "negative" label, the crystals were random and ugly. A line from the film: "If our thoughts can do that to water, imagine what they do to us and others." Wow. Powerful. We didn't get to finish watching the film, but I hope to get a copy of it and watch it all again. It was very interesting and thought-provoking. It's called, "What the bleep do we know?"
I came to realize a lot of things this weekend. I miss playing music. I should find ways to play more. I should sing more and learn to play guitar or piano. I should walk more. I should step out of my own comfort box more often. I can accept myself as a good person. I don't have to be shy. I have lots to talk about. I have lots to learn. I tend to have a very cluttered life, but that's ok. I have a lot that others would like to have. I can appreciate what I have and not brag about it. I can appreciate what others have without being jealous of them. All that AHA in just 3 days' time. What a fabulous weekend.
After 6 boring hours on the New York Thruway/Massachusettes Turnpike, hitting stop and go traffic on the Turnpike just a few miles before the exit I was suppose to take, and getting some serious restlessness, my tolerance level had plummeted. I was ecstatic to just get out of the car when I finally reached his place. And it helped immensely that he was standing in the middle of the street doing a dance to show me which driveway to pull into! I met a couple of his friends and we almost immediately hit the local watering holes. Which, after the aforementioned annoyances, was just fine with me.
I spent the evening meeting people, having drinks, engaging in conversations, picking on my host (his friends helped, of course) and being told that I have to watch the Will Farrell movie, "Old School," because I didn't understand the one-liners and references that were thrown around. A marvelous time, all around. We finally returned to his place around midnight, and he did indeed make me watch "Old School" (which I realized I had seen before, just didn't remember most of it).
Saturday morning, my wonderful friend cooked breakfast for me and we drank coffee (which was AHA in and of itself - he prewarmed the mugs by letting a bit of hot water sit in it, before dumping it out then pouring in the coffee. Brilliant!) while watching old college bar band videos. Hysterically fabulous!! It brought back all sorts of incredible memories to watch myself and my friends play. And I realized how incredibly talented my friends are, how talented they were even back then, 10 or more years ago! Makes me want to dig the guitar out of the closet and learn how to play it. Seriously. AHA- it's never too late to do what you want, and it's usually not as difficult as you might think. Make the time for it.
After a couple hours of reliving our glory days of college bar bands, we hit the streets. Literally. We walked all over Boston, and it was wonderful! We went through the financial district, to the top of the Prudential Building, to Quincy (pronounced 'QuinZy') Market, to the spot of the Boston Massacre, to Backbay, to the Holocaust Memorial to I'm not even sure where else. We took the T (subway) and had to go up an escalator that felt like we were ascending to the surface from the depths of Hell (it was a -very- long escalator). And I loved every single minute. I loved every minute of walking, of being with him, of learning about Boston's history (he's kind of a history geek, and he'll tell you so), of catching up with him and the goings-on of each of our lives. AHA flew all around me, and I loved every -single- moment.
We met up with a couple of his friends whom I had met the day before, had Tex-Mex and margaritas for dinner, then walked for a bit, passed up a few places that were either too crowded or too expensive, and found oursleves in the "old stand by" dive bar. They've nicknamed it 88, because the atmosphere reminds them of 1988- the DJ, the music, the regulars, the hookups, the drinks, the attitudes... everything. We had also gone there the previous night, and my friend was disgusted with this choice of venue. "I can't believe you drove 6 hours from Upstate New York and I'm dragging you to a dive bar... TWICE!" But I did not care. It was great fun, and again filled with AHA in all sorts of ways. I realized that it was possible for me to step out of my comfort attitude and put on a little sass. I began to strike up conversations with people I had just met and didn't feel terribly out of place about it. I was in a completely unfamiliar place with mostly unfamiliar people, and I didn't feel too terribly uncomfortable. These are big steps of AHA for me.
Sunday morning we once again had coffee in prewarmed mugs (brilliant!) and we watched a film that discusses the disconnect and potential marriage between science and philosophy. Without getting too much into detail, I will say that I was surprised to hear many of the participating scientists reiterate what I had learned from the spiritual teacher Nithya Shanti a couple of months ago. That basically, our thoughts can control just about anything in our lives. One thing in particular that I can remember is an experiment conducted by scientists in Japan. Water from once source was put into multiple plastic bottles and a label was taped to the outside of each bottle. The water was then frozen, and later inspected under a microscope. On the bottles that had a "positive" label, the scientists found the ice crystals to be beautiful, symmetrical, precise. On the bottles that had a less than favorable or "negative" label, the crystals were random and ugly. A line from the film: "If our thoughts can do that to water, imagine what they do to us and others." Wow. Powerful. We didn't get to finish watching the film, but I hope to get a copy of it and watch it all again. It was very interesting and thought-provoking. It's called, "What the bleep do we know?"
I came to realize a lot of things this weekend. I miss playing music. I should find ways to play more. I should sing more and learn to play guitar or piano. I should walk more. I should step out of my own comfort box more often. I can accept myself as a good person. I don't have to be shy. I have lots to talk about. I have lots to learn. I tend to have a very cluttered life, but that's ok. I have a lot that others would like to have. I can appreciate what I have and not brag about it. I can appreciate what others have without being jealous of them. All that AHA in just 3 days' time. What a fabulous weekend.
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