Long story short, I was a failure at this particular mission. I wasn't strong enough to actually saw through the trunk of the tree we had picked out (at least not at the upside down angle I had to be at, while on the ground), one kid's hands got wet and cold, another kid had to go to the bathroom, then pretty soon all the kids had to go pee, they were whining, I was frustrated and getting angrier by the nanosecond, and I quickly realized this was not something that would end well. I admitted defeat (if to no one but myself), we bought a tree precut and marched home.
Upon arriving home, my oldest helped me drag the thing through the front door and into the living room, where I realized that it too tall to actually fit standing up! There is a brown scuff mark on the ceiling of my dining room, proof of my attempt to stand the tree up straight. I admitted defeat again, and with big gasping sobs, called a friend to ask for help. He graciously came to save the day. Chopped a little off the top and a little off the bottom, helped my son and I set it up straight, gave me a very reassuring hug, and life was back to normal.
Fast forward a few years, and I now have a wonderful boyfriend who has helped cut down the tree to continue the tradition that we so loved. The past 2 years, however, we opted for the fake tree route.There are a number of reasons I made this decision, probably most of which could be overcome with a fair amount of effort. Bottom line is, it's just easier. Perhaps I'll change my mind again at some point, and go back to cutting a tree, or at least taking the kids to get a real tree. For now, the lovely fake one will do.
My Christmas tree gratitude list is:
1. The stories, and the memories that are made. The fake tree is nice, but I don't have stories about it, like the one I relayed above. I did have to wrap the lights around the tree 4 times this year before managing to get it perfect, but it was just me doing it, and there's not really any interesting story in that. I've told the kids THE Christmas tree story numerous times, and they know exactly what that brown scuff mark represents. To them, it represents a tree that wouldn't fit and a funny story about Mom being frustrated. To me, that mark represents my independence as a single mom, my efforts to get things just right and the help that was given to me to get the end result I wanted. It may not have been a joyful situation to be in at the time, but it makes a helluva story and it's a memory that makes us all smile now.
2. Putting up decorations together. The kids were chomping at the bit to decorate for at least a week this year before we finally had the time to do it. Maybe I could let them do 10 minutes at a time, a little here, a little there. But I make them wait until we have a good couple of hours on a Saturday, so we can all hang out together and pick exactly which ornaments go where. They breeze through the process a little faster than I'd like them to, but I get my photo op (which is one of the main reasons I make them wait), and they get to tear through the big box of decorations, emptying out each and every ornament, snow globe and Santa figurine.
3. The photo op. I'm a scrapbooker. I don't do it as much as I used to, but I've recently gotten back into it, and I've always loved taking photos. Decorating the Christmas tree provides great photo opportunities that I look forward to each year. I've realized that I tend to remember things based on the scrapbooks that I've created. If it's not in a scrapbook of some kind, chances are much higher that I won't know what year it's from. So I document most of my and my children's lives in scrapbook form. And therefore I'm one one of those crazy moms who has to take 2364 pictures of the same thing before I'm satisfied. My kids are usually not amused, but on the major holiday shoots, they tolerate me, behave, and even pose nicely. I've gotten some incredible pictures by just letting them do their thing, and some of my favorite shots are of them at their goofiest.
4. Putting the gifts underneath. Once the tree is up and decorated, the gifts usually accumulate slowly underneath it, based on how much shopping is finished and how many items are wrapped. Of course, the two younger kids love to bring their hand-picked gifts home from the school's holiday shop and put them underneath the tree as soon as they can. It's a representative action. The gifts are purchased, wrapped and when they are put in their proper spot under the tree, that means that Christmas Day is quickly approaching. As an adult who worries (sometimes too much) about bills and money and expectations and commercialism of the holiday, I have definitely lost the innocent excitement that swirls up during the first 24 days of the month. But seeing my kids ecstatic about putting their gifts for the rest of the family under the tree helps remind me why we do it, why we buy things and share things and give to others. Their innocence and joy refuels mine.
5. The end product. The tree, the lights, the gifts, the excitement....it's all wrapped into it's own little present. We make the time to be together to do these preparations, we're excited and happy to give things to others, and yes, we get excited to receive gifts as well. The entire process reaches far beyond just the act of giving and getting gifts. No matter how lavish or simple the process of decorating the tree is, it can and should be a fantastic experience.
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