Today was just about the only day this week when I didn't have something planned for the kids and I to do. Day 6 of being off work, and I hadn't been feeling well for the past day or two, so my tolerance of the kids' button-pushing was beginning to falter. I knew I had to figure out something fast... or else! (Cue superhero music.) Suddenly, I remembered- I had guest passes to a nearby indoor playground. We had been there a few weeks ago for a birthday party and all the kids loved it. I called a friend who lived in that area, whom I hadn't seen in quite a long time, and she agreed to meet us there with her daughter. Hooray! Super Mom saves the day, and just in the nick of time! (At 9am I was already pulling my hair out from them bickering with one another.)
We made it to the playground with no major incidents and the kids were excited to see their friend, and I was excited to see my friend and talk with another adult. We had lunch there and played for about 3 hours, which was wonderful. The facility has all sorts of things to keep the kids entertained- a pretend grocery store, beauty salon, day care center and cafe, a tire swing, basketball hoops for both big and small kids, a bubble machine, dress-up clothes and a stage, a small ball pit, stuffed animals and baby dolls, a rock-climbing wall, a climbing playground and a slide. We could just sort of let the kids go do their thing while we chatted and caught up with one another. It was beautiful!
Our friend invited us over to their house so the kids could play with her son (who was hanging out with his grandparents earlier). The 5 kids had a ball playing together and all got along very nicely, and my friend, her husband and I had a very nice time sipping wine and talking more. During our course of conversation, my friend asked what I have been doing and if I get out of the house. I wanted to laugh, not in a rude way by any means, and answered, "Of course! I, um.... Hmm...What do I do?" Ironically I feel happier and busier than I have in quite a long time and yet I had a difficult time answering this question. I strum on the guitar now and then, but it's not like I play it all the time. I've been going to hockey games every few weeks, but not really on a regular basis. I do Zumba in my living room when I can, but not every day. These are the extent of any new hobbies I have started. However, I have made myself available to hanging out and getting together with friends a little more, I think. I enrolled in Leadership Oswego County, in which I met new people and made new friends. I've held small parties at my house almost every month. I've been known to stop by a local bar or a friend's house on a whim to have a drink or chat. So I guess I have been getting out and at least doing things, even if I'm not meeting a ton of new people. That's always been sort of a weak link for me. But I'm working on it. For whatever reason, that question of what am I doing has really stuck in my head. But, as I've read before... if you're looking for love (or friends or relationships of any kind) stop looking and get out to do what you enjoy doing, and the relationships will find you. I'm not unhappy with where I am right now and I have no doubt that when the time is right, an appropriate person will enter into my life to change it in a way that only they can. It's happened to me countless times already, and it will again.
What started off as a blank-slate day ended up being a great play date. It was very refreshing to chat with a "long-lost friend" (of sorts) and to have adult conversation while the kids played. And, thanks to my friend, AHA has forced me to trust that my life is taking me where I need to go. I'll help it along as best I can and have no intention to sit back idly and wait, but I'm not allowing myself to think that I will forever miss out on any relationships that are necessary to the enrichment of my life. That is sometimes a difficult AHA to face, but well-worth the effort.
:) Cheers!
Adventures in Ice Skating
My son has this week off from school thanks to winter break (I thought they just had winter break...) so I took the week off from work to stay home and hang out. I didn't make any big plans to go anywhere like Disney, but I had some ideas of little things we could do close to home to prevent me from getting completely sick of the kids and vice versa.
Today's adventure was ice skating... with all 3 kids! At first I thought it was a great idea, but as I wrangled them out the door (which is as easy as herding cats... think about it) I began to wonder how crazy I really was for taking a 2-yr-old, 4-yr-old and 9-yr-old, none of whom have any real ice skating experience. And I, myself, am amateur at best. I told them we would go, so off we went, crazy or not.
When we got to the rink, I got skates for the kids and told my oldest he could go on out once his skates were laced up. I was least worried about him. Surprisingly, I was able to get skates that would fit the 2 little kids, so I attempted to strap them on. My daughter was suddenly very scared of trying something new (hello, Mama's kid), and although she let me put the skates on she was not thrilled about standing, walking or skating in them. My youngest was being particularly stubborn at this point in time and went back and forth between wanting his boots on, wanting his boots off, and just outright not wanting to skate. I finally convinced him to put the skates on instead of his boots, and spoke the laughable words, "Now, just sit there for a minute, please." I still had to get skates, and now that I had skates on these two I wasn't going to lose my chance to get on the ice. I walked maybe 10 feet to the counter to get my skates, told the gentleman what size I needed and turned around to see my son a good 4 or 5 steps away from the bench where I had left him, bent over in half, hands on the floor. He managed to stand up and wobbled for a moment before he flopped forward again. I took my skates off the counter, scooped up my stubborn son, set him back on the bench and laced on my skates as fast as I possibly could, then we headed down to the rink. Meanwhile, my oldest had done about 5 laps around, stopping at the entrance gate each time to ask, "Are you coming? You're not ready YET?" He, apparently, still needs to learn about the fine art of preparing children under the age of 10, especially when they are feeling extremely stubborn.
We finally make it out onto the ice and my daughter starts to cry. Not a loud wailing kind of cry, but a very quiet whimpering "I don't want to be here" kind of cry. I tried every positive thing I could think of to convince her that this was indeed fun, but she cried for a good 10 minutes. The little one, Mr. Fearless, was pretty much ready to go on his own. I had push bars for both of them to help stabilize them and I had to keep telling the daredevil to hang onto his, that it was different than "regular" walking and he couldn't easily go where he wanted. After moving out into the middle of the rink without realizing it, my daughter eased up a bit and decided that this wasn't really all that torturous. The 3 of us went up and down the rink in the middle of the circle of traffic, doing our best to avoid others. They both seemed to really enjoy themselves and managed not to fall too many times! My oldest was a trooper, doing laps solo, stopping by every so often to say hi and ask how we were faring. Although I couldn't focus on him, I did watch him zig zag through a line of cones and noticed that he wasn't crawling along the wall like he was the first time he came skating. He had actually improved quite a bit. And after an hour or so, my daughter decided she really liked skating and was sad to have to go. Mr. Fearless tried a couple times, unsuccessfully, to walk to me without his push bar but was unfazed by the downward detour he took. Pushed himself right back onto his feet like he meant to sit down. We were all very tired out by the time we left, but I am so very proud of all 3 of the kids for being so determined and strong, even if they didn't want to be when we started out. I love teaching my kids new things, and this is just another page in the AHA history book!
Cheers!
Today's adventure was ice skating... with all 3 kids! At first I thought it was a great idea, but as I wrangled them out the door (which is as easy as herding cats... think about it) I began to wonder how crazy I really was for taking a 2-yr-old, 4-yr-old and 9-yr-old, none of whom have any real ice skating experience. And I, myself, am amateur at best. I told them we would go, so off we went, crazy or not.
When we got to the rink, I got skates for the kids and told my oldest he could go on out once his skates were laced up. I was least worried about him. Surprisingly, I was able to get skates that would fit the 2 little kids, so I attempted to strap them on. My daughter was suddenly very scared of trying something new (hello, Mama's kid), and although she let me put the skates on she was not thrilled about standing, walking or skating in them. My youngest was being particularly stubborn at this point in time and went back and forth between wanting his boots on, wanting his boots off, and just outright not wanting to skate. I finally convinced him to put the skates on instead of his boots, and spoke the laughable words, "Now, just sit there for a minute, please." I still had to get skates, and now that I had skates on these two I wasn't going to lose my chance to get on the ice. I walked maybe 10 feet to the counter to get my skates, told the gentleman what size I needed and turned around to see my son a good 4 or 5 steps away from the bench where I had left him, bent over in half, hands on the floor. He managed to stand up and wobbled for a moment before he flopped forward again. I took my skates off the counter, scooped up my stubborn son, set him back on the bench and laced on my skates as fast as I possibly could, then we headed down to the rink. Meanwhile, my oldest had done about 5 laps around, stopping at the entrance gate each time to ask, "Are you coming? You're not ready YET?" He, apparently, still needs to learn about the fine art of preparing children under the age of 10, especially when they are feeling extremely stubborn.
We finally make it out onto the ice and my daughter starts to cry. Not a loud wailing kind of cry, but a very quiet whimpering "I don't want to be here" kind of cry. I tried every positive thing I could think of to convince her that this was indeed fun, but she cried for a good 10 minutes. The little one, Mr. Fearless, was pretty much ready to go on his own. I had push bars for both of them to help stabilize them and I had to keep telling the daredevil to hang onto his, that it was different than "regular" walking and he couldn't easily go where he wanted. After moving out into the middle of the rink without realizing it, my daughter eased up a bit and decided that this wasn't really all that torturous. The 3 of us went up and down the rink in the middle of the circle of traffic, doing our best to avoid others. They both seemed to really enjoy themselves and managed not to fall too many times! My oldest was a trooper, doing laps solo, stopping by every so often to say hi and ask how we were faring. Although I couldn't focus on him, I did watch him zig zag through a line of cones and noticed that he wasn't crawling along the wall like he was the first time he came skating. He had actually improved quite a bit. And after an hour or so, my daughter decided she really liked skating and was sad to have to go. Mr. Fearless tried a couple times, unsuccessfully, to walk to me without his push bar but was unfazed by the downward detour he took. Pushed himself right back onto his feet like he meant to sit down. We were all very tired out by the time we left, but I am so very proud of all 3 of the kids for being so determined and strong, even if they didn't want to be when we started out. I love teaching my kids new things, and this is just another page in the AHA history book!
Cheers!
Basking in AHA
My son's class went snowshoeing today, and I volunteered to chaperone. My son even asked if I was going to go, and got excited when I told him yes! I figure I have to enjoy that aspect of parenting while I still can.
It's always interesting to go to my son's school and see him interact with his friends. He is sometimes a very different kid around his friends than when he's at home, which is completely expected and understood. He ran off to sit with his class for the morning routine of hearing what's offered for lunch, what the weather is suppose to be for the day and saying the Pledge of Allegiance. I chatted with a few other people I knew, and talked with the teacher about the field trip. He mentioned that there was another mom from the class going and as it turned out, I knew her, so we agreed to carpool together.
Saying that I know someone and that I am friends with someone is two completely different things. I have known this other mom for a number of years, but not really well enough to say that I have been friends with her. Which makes a 45 or so minute car ride a bit intimidating. However, determined not to let the uncomfortable silence win, I think we both managed to keep the conversations going well enough without feeling like we were "forcing" ourselves on the other. It was a very nice ride.
It was a beautiful day, warm (in the context of being February in Upstate NY) and sunny. As it turned out, my ex was also able to go on the field trip. When I first learned about this, I wasn't mad, but I was a little less than thrilled. I had been looking forward to this day out with my son and I was slightly worried that my ex being there would spark some argument or something would go awry to take away from an otherwise wonderful day out with my boy. But I was, thankfully, wrong.
When we arrived at the nature center, the kids all filed out of the bus and everyone went inside to get our briefing of what we would be doing during the day. The presenter, Mrs. C., was very knowledgeable, friendly and had obviously spoken to this age group many times before. After a short talk inside, we all headed out to strap on snowshoes. The other parents and I helped the kids get their shoes on and tightened, and the teacher had to gather up a small group of kids who had started to wander before the parents were even ready to go. We all finally marched off in a straight line, following Mrs. C, and trying not to step on one another. As I watched the kids interact with each other, I couldn't help but wonder, if I was nearly as dramatic and annoying as some of these 9- and 10-year-olds were, when I was that age. A few of the boys spent just as much time on the ground as on their feet and the girls screeched loudly every time they tripped (which was quite often). My son ended up toward the front of the line, and my ex and I ended up toward the back. We didn't see much of our boy, but we spent a good part of the trip chatting with each other about lots of different things. At one point, he looked at me and said, "Well, I sure am glad our kid asked us to go on this field trip with him!" I was thrilled to be there, kid or no kid, ex or no ex. I had never been snowshoeing before, so this was a very new experience for me, and one I really loved doing. The weather was perfect, it was bright but not too sunny and I was having a blast being outside doing something I had never done before.
I don't even know how long we were out there... I think I heard that we did about a third of a mile, and we were probably walking for an hour and a half or so. I was getting tired out, but sad that we had to go in. I probably could have and would have walked outside all day. We had lunch inside, and my ex had to leave to get the other kids. It really was nice to talk with him and feel like friends again after all the stupidity that we've put each other through. It may not be a permanently sealed friendship- I know there will still be rough patches to work through and decisions on both sides that meet disagreement- but at the moment is was nice to have him as a friend again. I sat with my son and ate lunch, quietly watching the dynamics of the kids play out. Some had great manners, others not so much. Some were loud while others sat and ate kind of quietly. The girls mostly sat at one table, the boys mostly at another. It was interesting to watch, and made me smile some more. After an hour or so for lunch, we had an indoor presentation in which Mrs. C and her son talked about some of the different programs offered at the nature center, some of the history behind snowshoeing, and some of the clues one would find out in the snow to tell us what animals had been there. She passed around a couple different animals' feet and small jars containing dried feces, which the boys seemed to love and most of the girls were grossed out by. Finally, we all had to say goodbye and head back to the school.
The car ride home was just as enjoyable as the car ride out, and seemed a little shorter. I think I had a big, goofy smile plastered on my face from the whole experience. Back at school, there was only an hour left until the end of the day and the teacher had no hope at all of doing anything productive, so I gathered up my son and took him home. The day couldn't have been scripted better. I am basking in AHA and have been all day.
:) Cheers!
It's always interesting to go to my son's school and see him interact with his friends. He is sometimes a very different kid around his friends than when he's at home, which is completely expected and understood. He ran off to sit with his class for the morning routine of hearing what's offered for lunch, what the weather is suppose to be for the day and saying the Pledge of Allegiance. I chatted with a few other people I knew, and talked with the teacher about the field trip. He mentioned that there was another mom from the class going and as it turned out, I knew her, so we agreed to carpool together.
Saying that I know someone and that I am friends with someone is two completely different things. I have known this other mom for a number of years, but not really well enough to say that I have been friends with her. Which makes a 45 or so minute car ride a bit intimidating. However, determined not to let the uncomfortable silence win, I think we both managed to keep the conversations going well enough without feeling like we were "forcing" ourselves on the other. It was a very nice ride.
It was a beautiful day, warm (in the context of being February in Upstate NY) and sunny. As it turned out, my ex was also able to go on the field trip. When I first learned about this, I wasn't mad, but I was a little less than thrilled. I had been looking forward to this day out with my son and I was slightly worried that my ex being there would spark some argument or something would go awry to take away from an otherwise wonderful day out with my boy. But I was, thankfully, wrong.
When we arrived at the nature center, the kids all filed out of the bus and everyone went inside to get our briefing of what we would be doing during the day. The presenter, Mrs. C., was very knowledgeable, friendly and had obviously spoken to this age group many times before. After a short talk inside, we all headed out to strap on snowshoes. The other parents and I helped the kids get their shoes on and tightened, and the teacher had to gather up a small group of kids who had started to wander before the parents were even ready to go. We all finally marched off in a straight line, following Mrs. C, and trying not to step on one another. As I watched the kids interact with each other, I couldn't help but wonder, if I was nearly as dramatic and annoying as some of these 9- and 10-year-olds were, when I was that age. A few of the boys spent just as much time on the ground as on their feet and the girls screeched loudly every time they tripped (which was quite often). My son ended up toward the front of the line, and my ex and I ended up toward the back. We didn't see much of our boy, but we spent a good part of the trip chatting with each other about lots of different things. At one point, he looked at me and said, "Well, I sure am glad our kid asked us to go on this field trip with him!" I was thrilled to be there, kid or no kid, ex or no ex. I had never been snowshoeing before, so this was a very new experience for me, and one I really loved doing. The weather was perfect, it was bright but not too sunny and I was having a blast being outside doing something I had never done before.
I don't even know how long we were out there... I think I heard that we did about a third of a mile, and we were probably walking for an hour and a half or so. I was getting tired out, but sad that we had to go in. I probably could have and would have walked outside all day. We had lunch inside, and my ex had to leave to get the other kids. It really was nice to talk with him and feel like friends again after all the stupidity that we've put each other through. It may not be a permanently sealed friendship- I know there will still be rough patches to work through and decisions on both sides that meet disagreement- but at the moment is was nice to have him as a friend again. I sat with my son and ate lunch, quietly watching the dynamics of the kids play out. Some had great manners, others not so much. Some were loud while others sat and ate kind of quietly. The girls mostly sat at one table, the boys mostly at another. It was interesting to watch, and made me smile some more. After an hour or so for lunch, we had an indoor presentation in which Mrs. C and her son talked about some of the different programs offered at the nature center, some of the history behind snowshoeing, and some of the clues one would find out in the snow to tell us what animals had been there. She passed around a couple different animals' feet and small jars containing dried feces, which the boys seemed to love and most of the girls were grossed out by. Finally, we all had to say goodbye and head back to the school.
The car ride home was just as enjoyable as the car ride out, and seemed a little shorter. I think I had a big, goofy smile plastered on my face from the whole experience. Back at school, there was only an hour left until the end of the day and the teacher had no hope at all of doing anything productive, so I gathered up my son and took him home. The day couldn't have been scripted better. I am basking in AHA and have been all day.
:) Cheers!
Feeling Sorry
People sometimes have a funny way of reacting to someone else's situation. Which can be understandable- we want to be supportive, encouraging, loving, etc towards others but sometimes we just don't know what to say. Our responses can then sometimes come across as awkward, borderline inappropriate or slightly insensitive. I know I've done it. When I am on the receiving end of such comments, assuming I know the person meant well, I tend to take most things with a grain of salt. I don't take these comments too personally, and I understand that sometimes the right words are just hard to find. Once in a while, however, these kind of comments can get to me. I appreciate people's outreach to me, and I understand that people care about me and how I feel. But please, DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME!
I know most people don't generally say or do things to intentionally make me (or anyone, for that matter) feel bad. As I said in the beginning, sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to get their concerns across. Last year was a rough year, there's no denying that. But because of the events that took place, I believe that I am a much stronger, more confident, more capable person that I was before. That's not a reason to feel sorry for me.
Whereas in years past I was more likely to stay inside and complain about the snow, I know now that it takes me about a half hour to shovel a light snowfall off the driveway, or about an hour to snowblow the drive and shovel both porches. Whereas in years past, I would worry about being too cold and become cranky quickly, I can now appreciate my children's laughter while playing in the snow and allow myself to have fun while playing with them. Whereas I used to get easily frustrated with my kids because I was missing my favorite TV show, now I'm a little more willing to take my time saying good night to them and putting them to bed. Whereas I used to kick the kids out of the kitchen, I now invite (or sometimes force) them to help me do kitchen chores and make dinner. I have learned - and am still learning - how to embrace circumstances, situations, or moments that were not in my original plan. I've learned how to think outside the box, and am trying new approaches to get my kids to do what I want rather than just yelling at them. I've been forced to change lightbulbs, clean up leaks, fix a hole in the wall, run the snowblower, recognize when the car needs to be serviced, and much, much more. I've had to face my own animosity towards others and reason with myself as to whether or not those feelings are necessary. I've been able to take a very hard look at myself, adjust what I felt needed adjusting and fully accept what I felt was already acceptable. These are not reasons to feel sorry for me.
I am not angry. This is not meant to sound belittling or demeaning. I simply don't want people's pity. There's no reason for it, there's no room for it. I do truly appreciate all the help and kind words that I have received from others. And if you're wondering if maybe it was you who said something that bothered me, please don't worry about it. The things that don't need to stay with me have all been brushed away, and I only remember the loving words and the things that will help enrich my life. Because those are all that really matter anyway.
I know most people don't generally say or do things to intentionally make me (or anyone, for that matter) feel bad. As I said in the beginning, sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to get their concerns across. Last year was a rough year, there's no denying that. But because of the events that took place, I believe that I am a much stronger, more confident, more capable person that I was before. That's not a reason to feel sorry for me.
Whereas in years past I was more likely to stay inside and complain about the snow, I know now that it takes me about a half hour to shovel a light snowfall off the driveway, or about an hour to snowblow the drive and shovel both porches. Whereas in years past, I would worry about being too cold and become cranky quickly, I can now appreciate my children's laughter while playing in the snow and allow myself to have fun while playing with them. Whereas I used to get easily frustrated with my kids because I was missing my favorite TV show, now I'm a little more willing to take my time saying good night to them and putting them to bed. Whereas I used to kick the kids out of the kitchen, I now invite (or sometimes force) them to help me do kitchen chores and make dinner. I have learned - and am still learning - how to embrace circumstances, situations, or moments that were not in my original plan. I've learned how to think outside the box, and am trying new approaches to get my kids to do what I want rather than just yelling at them. I've been forced to change lightbulbs, clean up leaks, fix a hole in the wall, run the snowblower, recognize when the car needs to be serviced, and much, much more. I've had to face my own animosity towards others and reason with myself as to whether or not those feelings are necessary. I've been able to take a very hard look at myself, adjust what I felt needed adjusting and fully accept what I felt was already acceptable. These are not reasons to feel sorry for me.
I am not angry. This is not meant to sound belittling or demeaning. I simply don't want people's pity. There's no reason for it, there's no room for it. I do truly appreciate all the help and kind words that I have received from others. And if you're wondering if maybe it was you who said something that bothered me, please don't worry about it. The things that don't need to stay with me have all been brushed away, and I only remember the loving words and the things that will help enrich my life. Because those are all that really matter anyway.
The Valentine's Conundrum
[Disclaimer: I just re-read this post, and it is quite contradictory. Please don't ask me to clarify. If you ask me how I feel about holiday marketing, expect to have to listen to me for a while. If you ask me if I buy gifts for most holidays, I'll answer yes. If you ask why, I'll say I don't know. This is a very conflicting matter for me, and I don't expect it to get cleared up any time soon. So please, just take this at face value and don't ask me to engage in any philosophical conversation about it. Maybe next year I'll have a better answer.]
Ahhh, Valentine's Day. A day that didn't go so well last year, and a day I've sort of been dreading this year. I can remember back in high school and college, people I knew used to call Valentine's Day "Black (day of the week)." One year, in college, it was Black Friday to a good friend. He hated Valentine's Day. Hated pretty much everything about it, I think. He was miserable on "Black Friday" and was sure to tell everyone that Valentine's Day was a joke. He, of course, didn't have a girlfriend at the time. He's now married, with a daughter. I wonder if his viewpoint on it has changed.
I've always enjoyed Valentine's Day. It was never an over-the-top-get-excited-about-it kind of holiday, but it was always nice to get chocolates and cards and jewelry, or whatever else I got. And it was nice to give them, too. I have a bad habit of letting special occasions creep up on me. I know it's coming, but I don't think far enough ahead to be able to get "the perfect gift." Sometimes I have come across as a slacker, or that I didn't care. That's not the case at all. Sometimes my brain just gets stuck in it's every day routine and I basically just run out of time to get that really special something before I realize what's happened. And other times, rather than searching to buy something, I would make things. I like doing that... a lot. And it always makes me feel good to give a handmade gift to someone, no matter what the occasion. I think handmade gifts are important. It means quite a lot to me when someone makes a gift, just for me.
Like so many other holidays, I've grown tired of Valentine's Day. I've grown extremely weary of the marketing associated with it. We've commercialized love and all it's glory, a day meant to honor dead souls, the birth and then the resurrection of Jesus, a day honoring and named for a patron Saint of Ireland... and so on. I'm kind of surprised there haven't been any Martin Luther King Jr. bobbleheads in stores with some corny recorded message about how we should all be friends. It sickens me how our society has commercialized the meaning out of just about everything. While in the store today (yes, buying Valentine gifts), I noticed a box of SweetHeart candies, labeled "Classroom Exchange." Each individual package contained 5 hearts, all different flavors, and each with a different message: "True love, "First kiss," "Let's kiss," "Puppy love," or "You rock." Now, let's think about this. How old are kids that do classroom Valentine exchanges? My oldest is in 4th grade, and he told me Valentines were optional this year. So, essentially let's assume that kids under 10 exchange Valentines in their school classroom. Let's kiss? True love? Really!?!? I know, most people laugh and just eat the candy, but who's bright idea was it to put those particular sayings on candies that are exchanged within the under 10 crowd?
The other day, my daughter and I got talking about Valentine's Day and she said, "I can't wait to see what my brothers get me for Valentine's Day!" AAAGGGHHH!! It's not Christmas! I can't afford to buy everyone in the family a gift for every single holiday that comes across the calendar. I'm still paying off the Christmas gifts! I tried to explain that we don't have to exchange gifts with everyone. Despite that, I still bought each of the kids a small, very inexpensive box of chocolates, and something for them to give to their Dad.
I don't expect to get anything for Valentine's Day this year, and that is perfectly acceptable to me. Like I just said, I've played into the whole commercialism of it enough myself. To some couples Valentine's Day has a deeper significance, and it is nice to get gifts from a loved one, especially a spouse or partner. I realize that I will never be able to single-handedly eliminate Valentine's and all it's marketing revenue, even if I really wanted to. So, I guess I'll just stick to the dollar aisle in Wal-Mart and get something small for the kids, while treasuring the handmade cards they bring to me. Those are the best gifts I could ever get.
Ahhh, Valentine's Day. A day that didn't go so well last year, and a day I've sort of been dreading this year. I can remember back in high school and college, people I knew used to call Valentine's Day "Black (day of the week)." One year, in college, it was Black Friday to a good friend. He hated Valentine's Day. Hated pretty much everything about it, I think. He was miserable on "Black Friday" and was sure to tell everyone that Valentine's Day was a joke. He, of course, didn't have a girlfriend at the time. He's now married, with a daughter. I wonder if his viewpoint on it has changed.
I've always enjoyed Valentine's Day. It was never an over-the-top-get-excited-about-it kind of holiday, but it was always nice to get chocolates and cards and jewelry, or whatever else I got. And it was nice to give them, too. I have a bad habit of letting special occasions creep up on me. I know it's coming, but I don't think far enough ahead to be able to get "the perfect gift." Sometimes I have come across as a slacker, or that I didn't care. That's not the case at all. Sometimes my brain just gets stuck in it's every day routine and I basically just run out of time to get that really special something before I realize what's happened. And other times, rather than searching to buy something, I would make things. I like doing that... a lot. And it always makes me feel good to give a handmade gift to someone, no matter what the occasion. I think handmade gifts are important. It means quite a lot to me when someone makes a gift, just for me.
Like so many other holidays, I've grown tired of Valentine's Day. I've grown extremely weary of the marketing associated with it. We've commercialized love and all it's glory, a day meant to honor dead souls, the birth and then the resurrection of Jesus, a day honoring and named for a patron Saint of Ireland... and so on. I'm kind of surprised there haven't been any Martin Luther King Jr. bobbleheads in stores with some corny recorded message about how we should all be friends. It sickens me how our society has commercialized the meaning out of just about everything. While in the store today (yes, buying Valentine gifts), I noticed a box of SweetHeart candies, labeled "Classroom Exchange." Each individual package contained 5 hearts, all different flavors, and each with a different message: "True love, "First kiss," "Let's kiss," "Puppy love," or "You rock." Now, let's think about this. How old are kids that do classroom Valentine exchanges? My oldest is in 4th grade, and he told me Valentines were optional this year. So, essentially let's assume that kids under 10 exchange Valentines in their school classroom. Let's kiss? True love? Really!?!? I know, most people laugh and just eat the candy, but who's bright idea was it to put those particular sayings on candies that are exchanged within the under 10 crowd?
The other day, my daughter and I got talking about Valentine's Day and she said, "I can't wait to see what my brothers get me for Valentine's Day!" AAAGGGHHH!! It's not Christmas! I can't afford to buy everyone in the family a gift for every single holiday that comes across the calendar. I'm still paying off the Christmas gifts! I tried to explain that we don't have to exchange gifts with everyone. Despite that, I still bought each of the kids a small, very inexpensive box of chocolates, and something for them to give to their Dad.
I don't expect to get anything for Valentine's Day this year, and that is perfectly acceptable to me. Like I just said, I've played into the whole commercialism of it enough myself. To some couples Valentine's Day has a deeper significance, and it is nice to get gifts from a loved one, especially a spouse or partner. I realize that I will never be able to single-handedly eliminate Valentine's and all it's marketing revenue, even if I really wanted to. So, I guess I'll just stick to the dollar aisle in Wal-Mart and get something small for the kids, while treasuring the handmade cards they bring to me. Those are the best gifts I could ever get.
Unconditional
Everyone has their own issues to deal with. I honestly don't really believe that any one person is "better off" than anyone else. People make their own choices in life, and those choices reflect our personalities, morals and values. If we choose to be a victim, then sure enough we will be a victim. We will perceive everything around us as if it is meant to hurt us or bring us down. If we choose to be a survivor (in any sense of the word) then we will be. And we will believe that we have the spirit and conviction to overcome what ever issues we are faced with.
One thing that has definitely been reinforced to me is that friends will always stick by you, help you, encourage you and lift you up as best they can. As much as I try to be positive, I don't have a great attitude 100% of the time, but that's ok. My friends and family have been there to bail me out of various situations, and I have tried to avail myself to others who need help as well. But when it comes down to the wire, at the end of the day, we are the only ones who can truly decide what needs to be done. We assess our situations and perceptions and make the decision of how to react. Our friends can suggest what they might do in a similar situation, agree or disagree with our perceptions, encourage us to do "what's best" given the circumstances... but WE are the ones who make the final decision.
A friend passed along this poem to me that, I think, clearly describes the role of any true friend.
"Portrait of a Friend"
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; Yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.
I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.
--Unknown
For all those who have stood by me, held my hand, cried with me, shared my laughter, listened to me, encouraged me, helped me pick up the pieces, and have loved me unconditionally, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am honored to have you in my life. For those who are facing their own issues, please know that I offer my unconditional love back. However I can be there for you, I will be. Everyone has issues to deal with, but we never have to deal with them alone.
One thing that has definitely been reinforced to me is that friends will always stick by you, help you, encourage you and lift you up as best they can. As much as I try to be positive, I don't have a great attitude 100% of the time, but that's ok. My friends and family have been there to bail me out of various situations, and I have tried to avail myself to others who need help as well. But when it comes down to the wire, at the end of the day, we are the only ones who can truly decide what needs to be done. We assess our situations and perceptions and make the decision of how to react. Our friends can suggest what they might do in a similar situation, agree or disagree with our perceptions, encourage us to do "what's best" given the circumstances... but WE are the ones who make the final decision.
A friend passed along this poem to me that, I think, clearly describes the role of any true friend.
"Portrait of a Friend"
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; Yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces
and put them back in place.
I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.
--Unknown
For all those who have stood by me, held my hand, cried with me, shared my laughter, listened to me, encouraged me, helped me pick up the pieces, and have loved me unconditionally, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am honored to have you in my life. For those who are facing their own issues, please know that I offer my unconditional love back. However I can be there for you, I will be. Everyone has issues to deal with, but we never have to deal with them alone.
Embrace the Moment
Yesterday I ranted about winter and the amount of snow we've gotten. Don't worry, I'm not going that route again. In fact, I'm trying to see the opposite side of the argument, thanks to a very funny setup I noticed on my way to work this morning.
And more to the point of this blog, what a way to truly make the best of a less than ideal situation. I don't care how much someone says they enjoy winter, snowblowing and shoveling this much snow gets old. But these gentlemen were able to take their situation and, using what props were immediately available to them, make a joke of it. Get a laugh. Make a statement. How incredibly awesome!
You may have noticed this posted on my Facebook page. I told my coworkers about it when I arrived this morning, and one took a picture of it on his way home, early afternoon. Two chairs, a table - complete with tablecloth and umbrella - and a bottle of wine, sitting on top of a very large snowbank, at the corner of a restaurant parking lot. We kind of figured it was a prank by some college kids to get a laugh. And a very funny prank, at that. However, later this evening, I saw another photo posted by a different friend. Turns out, apparently, this set up was done on purpose, by the owners of the restaurant across the street from this parking lot! Too funny!! Talk about embracing the moment. The caption for the wall photo on Facebook reads: "When the snow in Oswego piles up what do you do? Push it into a snow bank and salute Mother Nature with a bottle of fine wine, like the Canales!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I laughed out loud when I first saw the table and chairs on top of the snowbank on my way into work this morning, but I laughed even harder when I saw the photo of Nick Canale, owner of Canale's Restaurant, holding a glass of wine, standing with the table and chairs on top of the huge snowbank! What a publicity stunt!
And more to the point of this blog, what a way to truly make the best of a less than ideal situation. I don't care how much someone says they enjoy winter, snowblowing and shoveling this much snow gets old. But these gentlemen were able to take their situation and, using what props were immediately available to them, make a joke of it. Get a laugh. Make a statement. How incredibly awesome!We are suppose to get more snow tonight. Another foot or two, so I hear. My snowblower is still frozen up and not working quite right. I guess we'll see how I fare in the morning. I'm slightly more settled knowing that I have friends who will come to my rescue if and when needed. And now, I'm looking at my snowbanks in the front yard, wondering what props I can put up there to make people take a second look and laugh. I think I have a folding lawn chair somewhere. Or maybe I'll let the kids go up and make a snow castle with their sand buckets. Tomorrow is garbage day- I wonder if the garbage men would exert the effort to get my trash cans down. Hmm... such big snowbanks, so many possibilities! This much snow still kind of stinks, but since we can't make it go away, I suppose we might as well do the best we can to have fun with it!
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