The other night, upon suggestion of a friend, I re-read some of my blog entries. Very powerful stuff for me. In a few of the more recent ones, as time between entries grew, I stated that I didn't need to rely on the blog as much as I had in months past. Well, I kind of lied. I need to find strength in something - we all do - and what better place to look for strength than deep inside yourself.
We all have our demons. Self-doubt is one of my biggest ones. Ridicule towards myself tends to come a bit too easily sometimes. Although I think growing older and growing up (and yes, there is definitely a difference) have helped ease it a bit, I still find myself questioning and doubting many things. This is sometimes a good thing, but I think in my case, I take it to the extreme.
I obsess over decisions. Sometimes. Other times I speak and act before I think long enough. When I was forced to buy a new car, I literally obsessed over it for 2 months. Comparing, researching, comparing some more, looking online for hours on end (days on end), talking to friends, thinking non-stop about this car that I was about to buy. Basically eating, sleeping, breathing cars. Over.The.Top. (But the car was a good car.) However, there was also the time I allowed myself to be talked into getting a dog. Did the research AFTER paying money for a cute little pup, only to find out the 2 breeds in this mixed-breed canine both love to run and don't really listen very well. Spectacular decision that was (sarcastically, that is).
My brain is currently hung up on one particular decision I made that impacts very little in the overall scheme of life. The consequences of this decision affect no one but me, and I am neither better off nor hurt by it. Yet, I doubt.
As we all know, the past is the past and nothing that has already been done can be changed. As was said to me by a very dear friend, "You have 3 choices... you can deal with it, embrace it, or throw yourself down a flight of stairs because of it." Since option #3 isn't very feasible in any particular situation, and there's not much I can do to change the past, I can simply accept my own actions or I can step it up and embrace them. I had my reasons for doing what I did - and they are good reasons - so this decision does not qualify as a bad one. A few of the details may have been overlooked in my heightened state of excited-ness, but to no major detriment. So why the persistent self-doubt?
As I said, we all have demons to deal with, and I am obviously still learning how to tame a few of mine. In the midst of questioning whether I am good enough, what people will think of me, etc, another very dear friend reminded me that I have within me what I need to be the best person I can possibly be. And I know he's right. Sometimes we need friends to hold up the mirror for us and point out all the things that are good, but we all have what's required to succeed, no matter what definition you go by.
So, I can deal or I can embrace. I can hang my head, admit defeat and render myself to embarrassment, or I can hold my head high, be proud of my actions, believe deeply in the reasons behind them and let my attitude own that decision. Let not your circumstances define your attitude, let your attitude define your circumstances.
I don't ever recall hearing anyone say to me, "That was a really stupid decision" (although there have definitely been times when I've raised some eyebrows and that statement would have been warranted), however there have been plenty of times when people have expressed their pride, gratitude, admiration, etc for certain actions of mine. Take the "stupid" decisions, no matter how petty they may seem, and draw out some lesson to be learned. Learning from our own decisions and actions can be some of the best lessons, and can create the greatest inner strength. If we have good reasons for making those decisions, then we can wear with pride the attitude that backs those actions.
Bag of Bricks
In the past 2 weeks or so, I have heard of about 5 or 6 different friends of friends or relatives of friends who have passed away. Hearing of a death, even if I don't know the person who died, always makes me a little melancholy and makes me take a step back to look at my own life. I wonder how people will remember me, and if I'm living up to "expectations" and if I'm making the right choices and living my life in the best possible manner. I wonder if I'm spending my time right. There may not really be a "right" or "wrong" way live life, but it makes me remember the old adage, "People never wish they had spent more time at the office."
The other night, as I was putting the kids to bed, my daughter was very upset. When I asked her why, she said innocently, yet tearfully,
She might as well have hit me upside the head with a 400 ton bag of bricks.
Send them away? Is that how she perceives their time with me? "Today we're with Daddy, tomorrow we're with Mama, so we must be going somewhere else again." I almost had a breakdown right then and there.
I explained to her that there are lots of people who love her and her brothers, and want to spend time with them, so I have to share them. I assured her that if she was with me 24/7 she would miss seeing other people, like her dad and grandparents. And sometimes there are things that I have to do and places I have to go, and I can't always be with them. I told her that although I sometimes get upset at them, under no circumstances whatsoever do I ever just randomly "send them away" from me.
While I was explaining all this, she was sitting on my lap cuddling in my arms. In my head, all I could see were the nights after work that I yell at them to get out of the kitchen so I can cook dinner, the bedtimes that I get frustrated with them for running around the house and goofing off instead of brushing their teeth, the mornings that I rush them to get out the door so I can be to work on time.
And then, there was that bag of bricks again, coming straight at my head:
So, as I dried my daughter's tears (and my own), in my head I erased those negative images of me yelling at them and being frustrated and angry. I thought of them sitting in the wagon, covered in leaves, pulling each other around the yard. I thought of them presenting me with beautiful bouquets of dandelions and whatever other random flowers they find. I thought of them laughing as we helped each other tell stories, sliding down a homemade snowbank in the front yard, pulling weeds with me in the garden. These are the things I want them to remember. These are the memories I have to make more of.
The Holstee Manifesto says that if you don't like something, change it. The past 2 mornings, I got up a little earlier than usual. I got the kids up a little earlier than usual. I smiled at them, hugged them, helped them get ready, ate breakfast with them. Then, I walked them to school. I haven't walked them to school in months. Ever since I went back to work, mornings and evenings seem to be a big blur of hurried-ness. Which really stinks, because that's the majority of when I see them, since they're in school and I'm at work during the day. It felt wonderful to be able to walk them to school again.
I am changing the way I look at my time with my kids. Of course, I always love when my kids are with me, but I'm going to be more aware of the quality of that time. Being at Mama's house and being with Mama are two different things. I want them to remember being with Mama.
I don't remember much (or anything, really) from when I was 3 or 6 or 11. I don't know if they will either, but I hope they do. I hope that whenever they think of me, their minds will be flooded with all kinds of memories of silly things we did together. Everyday, they teach me how to live young and play fearlessly. It's time to stop wishing things were different and make it so. Thank you, dear daughter, for the bag of bricks.
The other night, as I was putting the kids to bed, my daughter was very upset. When I asked her why, she said innocently, yet tearfully,
"How come whenever we're with you, you send us away?"
She might as well have hit me upside the head with a 400 ton bag of bricks.
Send them away? Is that how she perceives their time with me? "Today we're with Daddy, tomorrow we're with Mama, so we must be going somewhere else again." I almost had a breakdown right then and there.
I explained to her that there are lots of people who love her and her brothers, and want to spend time with them, so I have to share them. I assured her that if she was with me 24/7 she would miss seeing other people, like her dad and grandparents. And sometimes there are things that I have to do and places I have to go, and I can't always be with them. I told her that although I sometimes get upset at them, under no circumstances whatsoever do I ever just randomly "send them away" from me.
While I was explaining all this, she was sitting on my lap cuddling in my arms. In my head, all I could see were the nights after work that I yell at them to get out of the kitchen so I can cook dinner, the bedtimes that I get frustrated with them for running around the house and goofing off instead of brushing their teeth, the mornings that I rush them to get out the door so I can be to work on time.
And then, there was that bag of bricks again, coming straight at my head:
"People never wish they had spent more time at the office."
So, as I dried my daughter's tears (and my own), in my head I erased those negative images of me yelling at them and being frustrated and angry. I thought of them sitting in the wagon, covered in leaves, pulling each other around the yard. I thought of them presenting me with beautiful bouquets of dandelions and whatever other random flowers they find. I thought of them laughing as we helped each other tell stories, sliding down a homemade snowbank in the front yard, pulling weeds with me in the garden. These are the things I want them to remember. These are the memories I have to make more of.
The Holstee Manifesto says that if you don't like something, change it. The past 2 mornings, I got up a little earlier than usual. I got the kids up a little earlier than usual. I smiled at them, hugged them, helped them get ready, ate breakfast with them. Then, I walked them to school. I haven't walked them to school in months. Ever since I went back to work, mornings and evenings seem to be a big blur of hurried-ness. Which really stinks, because that's the majority of when I see them, since they're in school and I'm at work during the day. It felt wonderful to be able to walk them to school again.
I am changing the way I look at my time with my kids. Of course, I always love when my kids are with me, but I'm going to be more aware of the quality of that time. Being at Mama's house and being with Mama are two different things. I want them to remember being with Mama.
I don't remember much (or anything, really) from when I was 3 or 6 or 11. I don't know if they will either, but I hope they do. I hope that whenever they think of me, their minds will be flooded with all kinds of memories of silly things we did together. Everyday, they teach me how to live young and play fearlessly. It's time to stop wishing things were different and make it so. Thank you, dear daughter, for the bag of bricks.
Letter To a Friend
Dear Friend,
I have been where you are. I have stood in your shoes, wondering what went wrong and how I got here and why I was here. I cried until I literally thought my eyes would fall out of my head. I felt rejected, abandoned, lonely, alone, useless, helpless and hopeless. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't talk to anyone, could barely move. The reason behind all this behavior wasn't, in and of itself, such a horrendous thing. But that was the lowest period of my life.
It felt like forever. It felt like I cried for years. It felt like I would never get through. But you know what? I did. I did get through, and along the way was a strange, wonderful, enlightening journey... to myself. I became stronger, more empowered, more aware, more conscious of so many things. I had to face fears I never wanted to face. I had to learn things I never wanted to learn. I had to accept circumstances that I never wanted to accept. And eventually, all of these adaptations molded a better me.
We are not the first, nor the last, to go through this. We are merely a few more names in an endless, ever-growing list. Sad as it may be, we are the new "norm." Except I don't really know how new this norm is. I think it's just less hidden now, perhaps, than in years past. And, in retrospect for me, as well as many others, it's not really that sad either. It's a tough battle to face, but the rewards on the other side of the battlefield are beyond your wildest imagination.
I am no expert, by any means. I'm not always right (despite what I somethings think). My way is not always the best way. I'm just me, learning as I go, trying to find the Guide Book that I figure is suppose to have come with this thing called Life. I have picked up a few good pointers along the way, and although this may be considered "unsolicited" advice, I'd like to share some with you.
I have been where you are. I have stood in your shoes, wondering what went wrong and how I got here and why I was here. I cried until I literally thought my eyes would fall out of my head. I felt rejected, abandoned, lonely, alone, useless, helpless and hopeless. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't talk to anyone, could barely move. The reason behind all this behavior wasn't, in and of itself, such a horrendous thing. But that was the lowest period of my life.
It felt like forever. It felt like I cried for years. It felt like I would never get through. But you know what? I did. I did get through, and along the way was a strange, wonderful, enlightening journey... to myself. I became stronger, more empowered, more aware, more conscious of so many things. I had to face fears I never wanted to face. I had to learn things I never wanted to learn. I had to accept circumstances that I never wanted to accept. And eventually, all of these adaptations molded a better me.
We are not the first, nor the last, to go through this. We are merely a few more names in an endless, ever-growing list. Sad as it may be, we are the new "norm." Except I don't really know how new this norm is. I think it's just less hidden now, perhaps, than in years past. And, in retrospect for me, as well as many others, it's not really that sad either. It's a tough battle to face, but the rewards on the other side of the battlefield are beyond your wildest imagination.
I am no expert, by any means. I'm not always right (despite what I somethings think). My way is not always the best way. I'm just me, learning as I go, trying to find the Guide Book that I figure is suppose to have come with this thing called Life. I have picked up a few good pointers along the way, and although this may be considered "unsolicited" advice, I'd like to share some with you.
- Know when to fight, and when to let go. Sometimes a battle is worth fighting and winning. And, unfortunately, sometimes it's just not. When we're stuck right in the middle, it's often hard to distinguish between the two. Fight for what you believe in. I'm a big proponent of that. But if what you want isn't coming to you so easily, it might be time to reassess your priorities. Letting go is not giving up. It's acknowledging when you've exhausted your resources and realizing when you're better off moving in a different direction.
- Stand strong, and keep your head up. If you've done everything you know how to do to rectify the problem, and you've done it in an honorable manner, then you can say you've done your best and there's no reason to be ashamed. Do not let yourself walk with your tail tucked between your legs and your head dragging on the ground. Even when you're feeling your worst, tilt your head up and will yourself to be as strong as you can. The smallest shift in attitude can have a huge effect on you, as well as on others.
- Lean when you need to. Many, many people will gather around you to help in any way they can. Your life is filled to the brim with those who love you in every aspect of the word, and they all want to see you come barreling through this with flying colors. Use them. Lean on them, call them, visit them, cry to them, cry with them, laugh with them, support them (because everyone is fighting their own battle, remember), love them, talk with them, listen to them, hold hands with them, hug them. Each person who wants to help will be able to in their own individual way. But you have to allow them to help. You have to let them in. Trust me, no matter how private you think you are, you won't regret letting down those walls.
- Draw your focus elsewhere. There was a period of a couple weeks, maybe a month, when I read all 5 books in the Percy Jackson/Lightening Thief series. I am not a voracious reader. I love reading, just don't have time to do it. But when that light when off a night, my head suddenly transformed into a disastrous nightmare. I needed Percy Jackson to help put me to sleep. When I read, I got sucked into his world (and his problems of fighting monsters and such were WAY worse than my problems) and I could relax, thereby eventually falling asleep. I also read as much as I could about staying positive and how to basically get yourself out of a funk. I truly believe those types of books helped my brain stay afloat and away from the deep abyss of depression. There really are some powerful works out there. There were also very few moments when I didn't have some kind of music being pumped into my brain. I found myself crying over the lyrics of a Hannah Montana song, and all sorts of songs had all sorts of alternate meanings to my weakened mind. But, song after song, I could concentrate on the lyrics, or the melody or whatever, and I wasn't in such a terrible place any more.
- Ween yourself from dependency. There's a difference between leaning and depending. We all need other people to survive, that I believe to be true. However, being dependent too much on just one person is a no-no. You, my friend, are a very able and capable person. You have to believe that. And the myth that you just can't go on without someone (insert dramatic swipe of the hand across the forehead here) is one that I believe to be... well, just a myth. Life will be different, yes. It will be tough for a while, yes. Will it be impossible? Not likely. Independence is empowering, and necessary.
- Embrace opportunities. For whatever reason, for most people, it takes some jarring life event for us to really look at ourselves and say, "Wow, I should change that." Whatever may happen to us that we don't like very much, presents an opportunity. How do we act or react? How do we make things better? What do we do different? Is there another choice we can make? What can we learn? This is an opportunity to discover, find, create, define the aspects about you that you want to be different. We allow ourselves to get stale within our lives, because that's what becomes our comfort zone. People like to live within those lines. Break out. And I'm not necessarily talking about breaking a Guinness World Record. Remember, a small shift can have a big impact. Don't change because any one else wants you to, change because you want to. Look for opportunities, and grab them.
- Never give up on you. No matter what happens, keep doing the best you know how. At the end of the day, you can be proud of that. Regardless of anything else that happens, don't ever for one single, solitary moment think that you are not worth it. You are an amazing, awesome and beautiful person. Things happen for a reason, and what you're going through now will eventually fade away and become a distant memory. People don't look at other people and say, "That's so-and-so. Such-and-such happened to them." They look at other people and say, "That's so-and-so. They're so [happy/ confident/ bitter/ egotistical/ friendly...fill in the blank]. Your circumstance will fade. YOU, the living, breathing, laughing, loving person will not. Do not. Ever. Forget that.
I just want you to know that I'm included in the masses that are standing in your corner, cheering you on. We cannot do everything for you, in fact, there's really very little we can do, except cheer. But you can count on us for that, day or night, 24/7, whenever you need us. Take comfort, friend.
"Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt
Love,
Me
Tying It All Together
For a very long time, I was relentless about posting on this blog. I would find something to write about every day or very close to every day. I will be the first to admit that I have been, let's say, lax in the more recent months.
I have come to realize that at the beginning, this blog was not just a way to vent or share my story... it was a means of discovery, of learning, of creating. Now, don't read into this as meaning that I don't want to learn, discover or create anything else new about myself. That is far from the truth. I do not need to rely on this blog as much as I once did, and I have stopped looking so hard for reasons to write. But that doesn't mean those reasons aren't there.
Many of the resources I used to help move me forward, I still follow. Quotes are still very important to me, and I enjoy pulling deeper meaning out of seemingly unrelated scenarios. There are many bits of information floating around inside my head, and many of those are mentally bookmarked as being extremely useful and pertinent. Big life lessons. Things I need to pay attention to and remember daily.
Everyone has these life lessons that strike them. Some are the big, blaring siren type and others are much more discreet, but they are still there. So, instead of trying to cram an hour of blog writing into each already-too-short day, I'm going to give myself a little leeway. Stockpile these ideas and memorable moments for a week or so, then put them all together. It's kind of like a "6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game for life lessons. Many things that happen to us can be grouped together - they either lead us to something, away from something, prove what we already know, or show us how to improve ourselves. You can create as many categories as you'd like for yourself. Adapt as necessary, this is not a one-size-fits-all kind of formula.
Embody who you want to be. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can certainly control how we handle it. Yes, life has it's downfalls and disappointments. That still doesn't mean we have to bow down and submit to each one. We can choose to find happiness, choose to make ourselves the type of person we want to be. Think about who you admire: Superheroes (fake or real), relatives, mentors, teachers, gods/goddesses, etc. Why do we admire them? What traits do they possess that we do not? What qualities allow them to deserve our attention? Dissect each one, and learn how to adapt that trait or quality to fit into your own life.
Live fearless. This is different from living without fear. We all have fear... big or little, real or imagined, fear is a part of life and no one escapes that. Instead of allowing our fears to swallow us whole and spit us out again, leaving us helpless and hopeless, we can learn to embrace that fear and turn it into something positive. We don't always realize it, but we do have the capability to stop fear from stopping us. We have to recognize that we have that power, then allow ourselves to actually use it. Here's the blog that inspired this particular little lesson: Living Fearless and Free. It's not very long, and quite poignant. Go ahead and read it, I'll wait...
Love the moment. I've heard it lots, and I'm sure you have too... Live in the now, Be in the present, Enjoy the moment. I want to take that just a little further and say love this moment you're in. You have never before been in this exact moment, with this exact knowledge, this exact timing, and this exact environment. And never again will you be. So, no matter what is happening, always do your best to look past the crap, to look beyond the smoke and mirrors, to see through the negative and find a reason to love where you are, right now. Every time we find a reason to love the moment, we give ourselves more reasons to love more moments. And thus begins a snowball effect to keep on loving.
So, where's Kevin Bacon? How does this all tie together? Easy... We can take control of our lives. We choose the qualities and traits that we want to exude. We choose to wrap up fear in a blanket of hope. We choose to love where we are in life. We choose the outlook we have on life. If we want to live a great life, we can. If we continuously think that our life sucks, well... so it is. This doesn't mean we can sit on our behinds and wish ourselves into millionaire status or perpetual happiness. There is definitely work involved. Overcoming negative forces in our lives can be very demanding and difficult. But it can be done. Thinking and wishing alone are not enough to get us to where we want to be. But it's a great motivator, an excellent start, and way better than living the alternative.
I have come to realize that at the beginning, this blog was not just a way to vent or share my story... it was a means of discovery, of learning, of creating. Now, don't read into this as meaning that I don't want to learn, discover or create anything else new about myself. That is far from the truth. I do not need to rely on this blog as much as I once did, and I have stopped looking so hard for reasons to write. But that doesn't mean those reasons aren't there.
Many of the resources I used to help move me forward, I still follow. Quotes are still very important to me, and I enjoy pulling deeper meaning out of seemingly unrelated scenarios. There are many bits of information floating around inside my head, and many of those are mentally bookmarked as being extremely useful and pertinent. Big life lessons. Things I need to pay attention to and remember daily.
Everyone has these life lessons that strike them. Some are the big, blaring siren type and others are much more discreet, but they are still there. So, instead of trying to cram an hour of blog writing into each already-too-short day, I'm going to give myself a little leeway. Stockpile these ideas and memorable moments for a week or so, then put them all together. It's kind of like a "6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game for life lessons. Many things that happen to us can be grouped together - they either lead us to something, away from something, prove what we already know, or show us how to improve ourselves. You can create as many categories as you'd like for yourself. Adapt as necessary, this is not a one-size-fits-all kind of formula.
Embody who you want to be. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can certainly control how we handle it. Yes, life has it's downfalls and disappointments. That still doesn't mean we have to bow down and submit to each one. We can choose to find happiness, choose to make ourselves the type of person we want to be. Think about who you admire: Superheroes (fake or real), relatives, mentors, teachers, gods/goddesses, etc. Why do we admire them? What traits do they possess that we do not? What qualities allow them to deserve our attention? Dissect each one, and learn how to adapt that trait or quality to fit into your own life.
Live fearless. This is different from living without fear. We all have fear... big or little, real or imagined, fear is a part of life and no one escapes that. Instead of allowing our fears to swallow us whole and spit us out again, leaving us helpless and hopeless, we can learn to embrace that fear and turn it into something positive. We don't always realize it, but we do have the capability to stop fear from stopping us. We have to recognize that we have that power, then allow ourselves to actually use it. Here's the blog that inspired this particular little lesson: Living Fearless and Free. It's not very long, and quite poignant. Go ahead and read it, I'll wait...
Love the moment. I've heard it lots, and I'm sure you have too... Live in the now, Be in the present, Enjoy the moment. I want to take that just a little further and say love this moment you're in. You have never before been in this exact moment, with this exact knowledge, this exact timing, and this exact environment. And never again will you be. So, no matter what is happening, always do your best to look past the crap, to look beyond the smoke and mirrors, to see through the negative and find a reason to love where you are, right now. Every time we find a reason to love the moment, we give ourselves more reasons to love more moments. And thus begins a snowball effect to keep on loving.
So, where's Kevin Bacon? How does this all tie together? Easy... We can take control of our lives. We choose the qualities and traits that we want to exude. We choose to wrap up fear in a blanket of hope. We choose to love where we are in life. We choose the outlook we have on life. If we want to live a great life, we can. If we continuously think that our life sucks, well... so it is. This doesn't mean we can sit on our behinds and wish ourselves into millionaire status or perpetual happiness. There is definitely work involved. Overcoming negative forces in our lives can be very demanding and difficult. But it can be done. Thinking and wishing alone are not enough to get us to where we want to be. But it's a great motivator, an excellent start, and way better than living the alternative.
Commitment to Happiness
So many times I have heard others say (and I have said myself) "There needs to be more time in a day." There are so many things that demand our attention... work, dishes, laundry, kids, pets, school. I have found that it is way too easy for me to put everyone and everything else ahead of myself. I easily get burned out, stressed out, tired out and grumpy.
I've decided that since I don't that aforementioned scenario, I am going to change it. I don't have to get grumpy and I don't always have to put myself last. I have come to love my crockpot (another blog entry, I'm sure) because it reduces the stress of making dinner from scratch after I get home from work. I have learned to take a few minutes before and after work to do simple chores. I put on my iPod and dance around while making dinner or folding laundry. My family laughs at me, but I keep doing it! I have learned what chores my kids can tolerate and I exploit that knowledge to the best of my ability. I do what I need to do as quickly and efficiently as possible, then I take a few minutes each and every day to do something that I want to do, and sometimes to just do nothing.
I have made a commitment to myself to be as happy as possible. There are situations that sometimes cannot be avoided which stress me out, but I do my best to smile and keep focused on the positive. I have come to understand that being positive and staying focused on the good things has a profound effect on many other aspects of my life. Therefore, I do my best to cancel out the negative thoughts. "Squash negative thoughts like a bug" - I read that in a blog a while ago, and I repeat this to myself often. Keep the commitment alive by finding one little thing you love to do, and do it every day.
I've decided that since I don't that aforementioned scenario, I am going to change it. I don't have to get grumpy and I don't always have to put myself last. I have come to love my crockpot (another blog entry, I'm sure) because it reduces the stress of making dinner from scratch after I get home from work. I have learned to take a few minutes before and after work to do simple chores. I put on my iPod and dance around while making dinner or folding laundry. My family laughs at me, but I keep doing it! I have learned what chores my kids can tolerate and I exploit that knowledge to the best of my ability. I do what I need to do as quickly and efficiently as possible, then I take a few minutes each and every day to do something that I want to do, and sometimes to just do nothing.
I have made a commitment to myself to be as happy as possible. There are situations that sometimes cannot be avoided which stress me out, but I do my best to smile and keep focused on the positive. I have come to understand that being positive and staying focused on the good things has a profound effect on many other aspects of my life. Therefore, I do my best to cancel out the negative thoughts. "Squash negative thoughts like a bug" - I read that in a blog a while ago, and I repeat this to myself often. Keep the commitment alive by finding one little thing you love to do, and do it every day.
Enjoy the Journey
The path of extraordinary accomplishments in any field of endeavour usually goes something like this:
Dream it.
Do it.
Fail repeatedly.
Learn everytime.
Start again.
Enjoy the journey.
Keep at it.
Achieve the unthinkable.
Dream it.
Do it.
Fail repeatedly.
Learn everytime.
Start again.
Enjoy the journey.
Keep at it.
Achieve the unthinkable.
~ Nithya Shanti
It has been almost 3 months since my last blog post. I no longer feel the "need" to explore / discover / find / create myself. That doesn't mean that I don't feel the need to change or improve myself. It simply means that I have been able to put to use the discoveries I have made over the past 2 years. I still have a lot to learn, and I hope to always improve.
Part of what I have discovered is to enjoy the journey, where ever it may take me. Life sometimes falls together, instead of falling apart. At any given moment, we need to make the best of the situation at hand and smile. I have felt myself falling into old habits, picking fights for no reason, getting upset over silly things... reverting to ways that I don't like. And I have been able to stop myself, smile and breathe, and remedy a potential toxic situation. That, I like. That makes me smile even more. We almost always have the ability to save ourselves from an unhealthy environment. We just have to recognize it and do something about it.
I think that Nithya's quote above can be applied to just about any situation in our lives. Relationships, jobs, business ventures, hobbies, learning sports or music... we have to start somewhere. And in many cases, the dreaming is the starting point. Once we dream about it long enough, we want to go out and do it. Chances are that when we do it for the first time, we will fail. But we learn and keep at it and adapt and learn some more, and eventually we do achieve the unthinkable.
Just for clarification here, "the unthinkable" doesn't have to be monumental. It can be cooking a new recipe, learning to play a sport, finding a fantastic relationship, traveling, writing a blog. In my opinion, anything you try and do in any measure of success can be considered "the unthinkable." Did I ever imagine that I would have a blog, be able to parent 3 kids, run a business, love playing basketball and baseball, and keep a house running while working full time? No. Truthfully, all of these things have taken me by surprise. And each, in their own small way, is a huge achievement. Do I play basketball and baseball well? Not by any means. I continue to fail at them, and learn and do my best to improve. But each time I play, I have fun. Do I have a successful business? It's not millionaire material, but it makes me happy and I don't have to put a lot of extra money into it, so yes, I would say it's successful. Any accomplishment you have allowed yourself to achieve at one point was "the unthinkable."
I believe that at the heart of it all is the enjoyment. Enjoy where you are, who you are with, what you have, your abilities, your accomplishments. Enjoy even the moments that do not seem so spectacular, because eventually they will benefit your life in ways you could never imagine. When the enjoyment is gone, it's time to rethink your plan. We're all on this crazy, unavoidable journey together. We might as well do our best to enjoy it!
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