Short and sweet tonight. I need to get to bed and, more importantly, get to sleep so I can head out to camp bright and early tomorrow morning.
I think when I started this, I was more or less "talking" to myself. I know now that I have an audience, and regardless of how big or small that audience is, I appreciate knowing that someone is reading my posts and taking them to heart. I've said before that this is a therapeutic practice for me, and I have come to learn quite a lot about myself in the past few months. This makes me no better or smarter than any other average Joe, but I do believe that when we can share our experiences with others, everyone can benefit. It's like I'm validating the thoughts I have or the lessons I've learned. And when I validate them aloud to someone else, I'm better able to put them into practice. When I put them into practice, they become easier to do and I enjoy sharing my experiences with others. And so the cycle begins again. Again, I don't think this sets me ahead of anyone else, because at the same time that I'm sharing my experiences with others, someone else is sharing their experiences with me. So we all validate one another's lessons. Pretty cool, I think.
Ok, back to short and sweet. My AHA is knowing that there are people who read this and appreciate it. I'm glad to share with you, and I'm happy to know that you care enough to read what I have to say!
The Right Questions
I soooooo have to pack! I did an insane amount of laundry today, and most of it is sitting on my bed in piles. Hate to break it to all you loyal readers ;) but I will be on vacation all next week. But that doesn't mean that I won't be writing about my AHA - and trust me, there should be plenty of AHA. I will just have to take copious notes and catch up electronically when I get back. Which will be July, by the way. And I know that when I started this whole AHA thing, I said I was going to make June a happy month. To be very honest, this has been extremely therapeutic for me. Plus, I've gotten quite a few positive comments from friends who have read it, so I don't think that the end of June means the end of my Moments of AHA!
This blog, in and of itself has become a fairly significant AHA. I get to step back from the events of the day and really scrutinize what I did and how I interacted with others. And as I go through the day, my brain is constantly searching for moments that lead to some sort of deeper understanding. Sometimes it's easier than other times to spot these moments, but more often than not, when I sit down at the end of the day and actually start typing, I really have no idea what's going to come out. Which is part of the beauty of all this, I think. Even if you don't know me very well, if you've been reading this right along, you could probably say you know me quite well.
For 30-something years I just kind of went through life. Don't get me wrong, I've had a very good life. No silver spoons on silver platters, but still a very good life. But I don't really think that I ever took the time to reflect on what happened throughout the day or week. And I don't mean, "I went to school and Jimmy made fun of me today," or "I bought 6 boxes of cereal at the grocery store" kind of happening. I mean what REALLY happened. Who did I connect with? Did I upset anyone? Could I have acted differently? Did someone hurt me, and why exactly? What is the underlying meaning of the things that took place throughout the day? That's the stuff that really affects us, and it's also the stuff that most often gets overlooked. Which is unfortunate, because it's also the stuff that helps us grow and change as people. I only wish that I had been able to come to this conclusion quite a long time ago. But, as I've been told many times, we can't change the past, we can only move forward. So that's what I'm doing. Moving forward. Making a better, more aware me. Allowing myself to change and improve, and hopefully bringing some others a bit or two of knowledge that they may not have had before.
So, back to packing. See the photo compilation up there? That's where I'm headed. The most beautiful, serene, peaceful, soulful place on Earth (at least in my humble opinion). I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about being there. I get to sit and listen to the wind rustling through the trees, the water gently lapping on the rowboat, the pine needles sprinkling to the ground, the voices and laughter of my beloved family echoing across the lake. This place is home to me. If there was ever a place where you could do absolutely nothing and be completely surrounded with AHA, it is here.
Act As If...
"Happiness can exist only in acceptance." - George Orwell
I think that for quite a long time I was very unhappy. I was stressed out about a lot of things, and I basically got too wrapped up in the logistics of life to allow myself to enjoy things. That was a big reason that I started this project in the first place. I wanted to change some things about myself, and accept the things I couldn't change, so I could be happier. I accepted the challenge I gave myself, and I think that I have made a lot of progress in creating and uncovering a more positive me.
I have read that if you want to be in a certain mood, act that way. Don't wait for the feelings to come to you, act on what you want to feel and the feelings will follow. It sounds a little crazy, but think about it. Let's say one morning you wake up and something happens that puts you in a bad mood right off the bat. You carry that bad mood with you to work, and act cranky toward all your coworkers. Your coworkers get annoyed with you because you're so cranky, and one of them says something that makes you even more upset. You bring the really bad mood home with you and the kids won't leave you alone, which makes you even more angry. And so on it goes. You acted cranky after that first incident and the bad mood snowballed.
However, now let's say that something happened to you first thing in the morning, and you're upset about it but you accept it, deal with it and put it aside. You're in a pleasant mood at work and have a couple of nice conversations with your coworkers. One of them buys you lunch. That thing that happened in the morning is still bugging you, but you continue to push it away and focus on staying in a good mood. You get home after work and the kids won't leave you alone. You take a minute or two to pay attention to each kid, which makes them happy and they go on their merry way allowing you to start dinner. And on and on.
"Act as if..." whatever you want to happen will happen. If you want to be in a good mood, act as if you already are. I have thought about this concept quite a lot lately, because it's very easy for me to slide down the negative thinking slope. Which just goes to prove that if you "act as if" you're in a bad mood, you will be! I have also proven to myself that if I accept whatever it is that bothers me, and carry on with a pleasant outlook, I will have a much better chance of staying in a good mood longer. It's all about acceptance. Happiness truly is attainable through acceptance.
I understand that this is not an easy thing. I never said it was. In fact, as I've stated previously, acceptance is one of the hardest things for me to put into practice. Sometimes I'd rather run away, or pick a fight with someone rather than accept something I don't like. But, as I'm learning, acceptance is a huge piece of the happiness puzzle. Every day, I try to accept a little something more so I can get that moment of AHA. Because sometimes that little moment makes all the effort worth it in the end!
I think that for quite a long time I was very unhappy. I was stressed out about a lot of things, and I basically got too wrapped up in the logistics of life to allow myself to enjoy things. That was a big reason that I started this project in the first place. I wanted to change some things about myself, and accept the things I couldn't change, so I could be happier. I accepted the challenge I gave myself, and I think that I have made a lot of progress in creating and uncovering a more positive me.
I have read that if you want to be in a certain mood, act that way. Don't wait for the feelings to come to you, act on what you want to feel and the feelings will follow. It sounds a little crazy, but think about it. Let's say one morning you wake up and something happens that puts you in a bad mood right off the bat. You carry that bad mood with you to work, and act cranky toward all your coworkers. Your coworkers get annoyed with you because you're so cranky, and one of them says something that makes you even more upset. You bring the really bad mood home with you and the kids won't leave you alone, which makes you even more angry. And so on it goes. You acted cranky after that first incident and the bad mood snowballed.
However, now let's say that something happened to you first thing in the morning, and you're upset about it but you accept it, deal with it and put it aside. You're in a pleasant mood at work and have a couple of nice conversations with your coworkers. One of them buys you lunch. That thing that happened in the morning is still bugging you, but you continue to push it away and focus on staying in a good mood. You get home after work and the kids won't leave you alone. You take a minute or two to pay attention to each kid, which makes them happy and they go on their merry way allowing you to start dinner. And on and on.
"Act as if..." whatever you want to happen will happen. If you want to be in a good mood, act as if you already are. I have thought about this concept quite a lot lately, because it's very easy for me to slide down the negative thinking slope. Which just goes to prove that if you "act as if" you're in a bad mood, you will be! I have also proven to myself that if I accept whatever it is that bothers me, and carry on with a pleasant outlook, I will have a much better chance of staying in a good mood longer. It's all about acceptance. Happiness truly is attainable through acceptance.
I understand that this is not an easy thing. I never said it was. In fact, as I've stated previously, acceptance is one of the hardest things for me to put into practice. Sometimes I'd rather run away, or pick a fight with someone rather than accept something I don't like. But, as I'm learning, acceptance is a huge piece of the happiness puzzle. Every day, I try to accept a little something more so I can get that moment of AHA. Because sometimes that little moment makes all the effort worth it in the end!
Are You Listening?
I have discovered, very much the hard way, that I don't always listen to people, even when I think I am. I may hear the words that they are saying, but my interpretation of the meaning of those words may be very different than that of the person speaking. Or I only hear part of what is being said because I particularly like those words, or I particularly don't like other words. Listening to and understanding what others are saying to you, I have learned, can be quite a difficult process. It's not as passive as most people seem to think.
With all that being said, after you have a conversation with someone, and you believe that they have really listened to the meaning of your words, you feel pretty good about yourself. Likewise, you can make others feel good about themselves by listening to and understanding their interpretation of the words. And so we have found AHA. AHA can come simply by really listening to what another person is saying and taking the time to understand it from their point of view. In this manner, you can both achieve AHA!
Sometimes I am truly amazed that humans are capable of having a relationship of any kind with other humans. We are all living in our own little world- some people think that they are the center of it; some people think that someone else is the center; some are out for no one but themselves; some bend over backwards for everyone else; some are friendly to everyone; some are friendly to no one. Each of us interpret everything in our own special way, and most of the time that interpretation is slightly different than anyone else's. The fact that we understand one another at all sometimes seems like a miracle.
As I said in the beginning, I have learned the hard way that other people don't interpret things the same as I do. It takes quite a bit of effort from both people in order to come to an agreement on what the meaning is behind the words. But once that agreement can be reached, both people can find AHA, which - I think - makes both people feel good about themselves. And that's something that everyone can appreciate!
With all that being said, after you have a conversation with someone, and you believe that they have really listened to the meaning of your words, you feel pretty good about yourself. Likewise, you can make others feel good about themselves by listening to and understanding their interpretation of the words. And so we have found AHA. AHA can come simply by really listening to what another person is saying and taking the time to understand it from their point of view. In this manner, you can both achieve AHA!
Sometimes I am truly amazed that humans are capable of having a relationship of any kind with other humans. We are all living in our own little world- some people think that they are the center of it; some people think that someone else is the center; some are out for no one but themselves; some bend over backwards for everyone else; some are friendly to everyone; some are friendly to no one. Each of us interpret everything in our own special way, and most of the time that interpretation is slightly different than anyone else's. The fact that we understand one another at all sometimes seems like a miracle.
As I said in the beginning, I have learned the hard way that other people don't interpret things the same as I do. It takes quite a bit of effort from both people in order to come to an agreement on what the meaning is behind the words. But once that agreement can be reached, both people can find AHA, which - I think - makes both people feel good about themselves. And that's something that everyone can appreciate!
Just Do It
One of my biggest pet peeves of life is when someone tells me they will do something and they don't do it. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect by any means! I forget to do things sometimes, and I tend to run late when I'm supposed to be somewhere. But if I know that someone has specifically asked me to do something, I really do my best to do it. Or I tell them I can't.
I have come to appreciate this sort of honesty quite a lot. If you're going to take the time to say something to someone - no matter what it is - have the heart to mean every word of it. If you say you'll be somewhere, pick them up, bring them something, talk with them, do whatever for them, do it! If you don't plan on doing it, say so from the beginning. Or at least as soon as you decide you can't carry through with whatever it is you said you'd do. Sometimes things come up, we forget, something happens to steer us off track. If that's the case, apologize, and be sincere about it. If you really did intend to do whatever for your friend, let them know why it was you couldn't carry through. Honest apologies usually garner no hard feelings.
I really don't need to hop on a soapbox and get too deep into why this all matters, but let's just say that openness, honesty, clarity and truthfulness all create a big moment of AHA for me.
I have come to appreciate this sort of honesty quite a lot. If you're going to take the time to say something to someone - no matter what it is - have the heart to mean every word of it. If you say you'll be somewhere, pick them up, bring them something, talk with them, do whatever for them, do it! If you don't plan on doing it, say so from the beginning. Or at least as soon as you decide you can't carry through with whatever it is you said you'd do. Sometimes things come up, we forget, something happens to steer us off track. If that's the case, apologize, and be sincere about it. If you really did intend to do whatever for your friend, let them know why it was you couldn't carry through. Honest apologies usually garner no hard feelings.
I really don't need to hop on a soapbox and get too deep into why this all matters, but let's just say that openness, honesty, clarity and truthfulness all create a big moment of AHA for me.
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of an Opporunity
Opportunities can come to us at any time and in many different forms. Sometimes an opportunity can be exciting and frightening, joyous and sorrowful, elating and depressing all at the same time.
I found out today that a good friend will be leaving. She got offered an incredible job opportunity in New York City and she starts in 2 weeks. This, obviously, affects her more than any of the rest of us, but myself and a number of other coworkers have had very mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, we're very sad to see her go. She's been a good friend to a lot of those she works with, she's awesome at the job she does, and a lot of people she doesn't know rely on her daily. On the other hand, this could be an incredibly beneficial career move for her, and who wouldn't want that opportunity?!
Some people you just know you're going to be good friends with for a very long time, regardless of where either of you are located, or what jobs you have or how much money you make. It's very difficult when one of you has to leave the immediate area of the other, but you do your best to stay in touch, keep up to date with one another and keep that friendship fire burning. I've worked with my friend for 4 years now, and we just recently became close. Why did it take that long for us to really become good friends? I have no idea. But I think that we've really needed each other in the past few months, and we've talked each other through a lot lately. I am very sad to see her go, but I can appreciate what a move like this could do for her. I accept the responsibility to keep our friendship close, and I'm so very happy that she has a new chapter of life to look forward to!
Don't let life get you down, Jazz. You are awesome, amazing and beautiful, and I'm so proud to be your friend. Keep an eye out for those moments of AHA, and you'll find them everywhere. And if ever you can't find AHA, you call me and I'll make a moment just for you!
I found out today that a good friend will be leaving. She got offered an incredible job opportunity in New York City and she starts in 2 weeks. This, obviously, affects her more than any of the rest of us, but myself and a number of other coworkers have had very mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, we're very sad to see her go. She's been a good friend to a lot of those she works with, she's awesome at the job she does, and a lot of people she doesn't know rely on her daily. On the other hand, this could be an incredibly beneficial career move for her, and who wouldn't want that opportunity?!
Some people you just know you're going to be good friends with for a very long time, regardless of where either of you are located, or what jobs you have or how much money you make. It's very difficult when one of you has to leave the immediate area of the other, but you do your best to stay in touch, keep up to date with one another and keep that friendship fire burning. I've worked with my friend for 4 years now, and we just recently became close. Why did it take that long for us to really become good friends? I have no idea. But I think that we've really needed each other in the past few months, and we've talked each other through a lot lately. I am very sad to see her go, but I can appreciate what a move like this could do for her. I accept the responsibility to keep our friendship close, and I'm so very happy that she has a new chapter of life to look forward to!
Don't let life get you down, Jazz. You are awesome, amazing and beautiful, and I'm so proud to be your friend. Keep an eye out for those moments of AHA, and you'll find them everywhere. And if ever you can't find AHA, you call me and I'll make a moment just for you!
Telling Stories
Today my husband took all 3 kids to the zoo while I was at work. I have to admit, I was slightly jealous. It was a really nice day, and apparently, they all had a good time. I got to hear about the bears, monkeys, apes, lions, reptiles, snakes and everything else they could remember seeing at least two or three times this evening. Which isn't really a bad thing. It's cute to hear them tell stories and talk about what their favorite part was.
The two older ones are both pretty good at telling me stories of how their day went and what they did. And sometimes it doesn't matter that I've heard the same story three (or more) times in a period of a few hours (or a few minutes). We all retell stories. I've heard my husband tell countless stories again and again. I know that I repeat my stories to people, too. We all do it. And sometimes it gets annoying. Like, when I'm kind of in a hurry and my 4 year old is saying, "So then, we.... we... then we went to the see the lions, and we... then.... and we saw the lions..." and all I want to do is scream because it's taken her 5 minutes to finish one sentence. And when my 9 year old chooses to ignore the rules of punctuation while speaking, and his sentences just go on and on and on. My little one tells all sorts of stories, I just can't make heads or tails of most of it. And sometimes I get a little tired out of hearing some of the same stories again and again from my husband.
But whenever I start to get annoyed by people's storytelling, I think back to an Ann Landers article that I read years and years ago. It was written by an elderly woman who had lost her husband, and she talked about how her husband would tell the same stories over and over and the woman would get annoyed and angry at him. Once he passed away, the woman realized how much she missed hearing her husband's voice and his stories. That article has stuck with me, and I think of it, sometimes quite often. My husband is a good storyteller. Sometimes long-winded, but that's part of what makes hearing his stories enchanting. Whenever he tells a story, I think of this article. My kids have huge imaginations and they remember things pretty well. Hearing them recap what they did that day, or hearing about how the apes were cool but scary, or listening to them make up worlds of their own, I think about this article. I think about how much I would miss all of their stories if they were not here to tell them to me. And I smile, and I enjoy the moments of AHA of listening to my family tell me whatever it is they want to tell me, for however long it takes to tell it.
My Favorite Dads
Happy Father's Day! I know a lot of great fathers out there (who doesn't?), and I'd like to take this opportunity to share my moments of AHA about two of my favorites.
My dad and I didn't get along all the time when I was growing up. Normal, I know. As a teenage girl, I just couldn't understand him and his ways of thinking. However, looking back now, as a parent myself, I find myself mimicking him in ways I never saw coming. I follow my kids around the house turning off lights, something my dad used to heckle me about daily. If my son or daughter wants to play with a friend, I have to know the Who, What, Where and When, something my dad was always a stickler about. Inadvertently, my dad has taught me about good work ethic, doing household chores quickly... and efficiently, money management, time management and being prompt (something I will never master, but the intention is there!), appreciation of 50s and 60s music, and doing what you love the best you can. I now accept so many things about him that years ago I thought were bothersome and annoying. It makes me happy to see him get pleasure out of building little science experiment kits with my oldest son, and to see the kids run to him for a hug. And I appreciate him now in ways that I cannot even begin to explain.
Even before our first son was born, I knew my husband would be a great dad. He's always been good with kids, easy to talk with, and respectful of children's feelings. He's never treated our kids like "babies," rather he's always treated them like people. He doesn't talk down to them. He holds them each in the highest regard, and he's not shy about sharing that with them or others. He plays with them, as often as he can. Any given night, there's bound to be a wrestle-mania likeness that happens on our bed or the couch or one of the kids' beds. But he has a soft side, too, when playing. I even heard that he played a game of Disney's Pretty Pretty Princess one day with our daughter. The idea of the game is to move your game piece (a glass slipper) around the board and collect all the jewelry. Generally, the girls wear each piece to show it off. I understand that in his version of the game, the jewelry just got collected in a pile on the floor. But his little princess was happy to play the game with him all the same. He reads with them, and he doesn't just boring read, he plays it up. One night a few years ago I read Dr. Seuss's Fox in Socks to our son. Two pages into the book and I was told that I wasn't doing it right, because I wasn't making the same voices that Daddy makes when he reads that book. My husband does not let the kids walk on him, however. He treats them as equals, but he lets them know their place in the family hierarchy. He demands respect, yet in a very friendly sort of way. My husband works hard to provide for our family. He holds high standards in the world of parenting, and I sometimes feel that I'm struggling to keep up. I've learned to accept the things about his style of parenting that are different than mine. And the ways that he makes me happy and appreciative are too numerous to list. We have our differences, but as dads go, in my opinion he ranks at the top.
So thanks to my dad and my husband for teaching me all sorts of different things, and for being great parents! You both create plenty of AHA!
My dad and I didn't get along all the time when I was growing up. Normal, I know. As a teenage girl, I just couldn't understand him and his ways of thinking. However, looking back now, as a parent myself, I find myself mimicking him in ways I never saw coming. I follow my kids around the house turning off lights, something my dad used to heckle me about daily. If my son or daughter wants to play with a friend, I have to know the Who, What, Where and When, something my dad was always a stickler about. Inadvertently, my dad has taught me about good work ethic, doing household chores quickly... and efficiently, money management, time management and being prompt (something I will never master, but the intention is there!), appreciation of 50s and 60s music, and doing what you love the best you can. I now accept so many things about him that years ago I thought were bothersome and annoying. It makes me happy to see him get pleasure out of building little science experiment kits with my oldest son, and to see the kids run to him for a hug. And I appreciate him now in ways that I cannot even begin to explain.
Even before our first son was born, I knew my husband would be a great dad. He's always been good with kids, easy to talk with, and respectful of children's feelings. He's never treated our kids like "babies," rather he's always treated them like people. He doesn't talk down to them. He holds them each in the highest regard, and he's not shy about sharing that with them or others. He plays with them, as often as he can. Any given night, there's bound to be a wrestle-mania likeness that happens on our bed or the couch or one of the kids' beds. But he has a soft side, too, when playing. I even heard that he played a game of Disney's Pretty Pretty Princess one day with our daughter. The idea of the game is to move your game piece (a glass slipper) around the board and collect all the jewelry. Generally, the girls wear each piece to show it off. I understand that in his version of the game, the jewelry just got collected in a pile on the floor. But his little princess was happy to play the game with him all the same. He reads with them, and he doesn't just boring read, he plays it up. One night a few years ago I read Dr. Seuss's Fox in Socks to our son. Two pages into the book and I was told that I wasn't doing it right, because I wasn't making the same voices that Daddy makes when he reads that book. My husband does not let the kids walk on him, however. He treats them as equals, but he lets them know their place in the family hierarchy. He demands respect, yet in a very friendly sort of way. My husband works hard to provide for our family. He holds high standards in the world of parenting, and I sometimes feel that I'm struggling to keep up. I've learned to accept the things about his style of parenting that are different than mine. And the ways that he makes me happy and appreciative are too numerous to list. We have our differences, but as dads go, in my opinion he ranks at the top.
So thanks to my dad and my husband for teaching me all sorts of different things, and for being great parents! You both create plenty of AHA!
Soccer Saturday
Saturday is soccer day. And today was the last day of the spring soccer season. My two older kids play. My son is in one division and my daughter is in another, which means we either have to kill time between games, or the games overlap so my husband watches one kid (when he's not working) and I watch the other. Today, we had to be at the field at 8:30am for my son's first game. And my husband was working, so I got to wrangle up the three kids and haul everyone off to the field by myself. (I don't say that negatively, but it can be quite a chore to get the 4 of us up, dressed and out the door on time!) There is no shade near any of the soccer fields. And it was sunny and hot today!
My son's team won the first game, which meant they played again at 9:55, and my daughter's game was at 10:30. So there was a slight gap and a slight overlap. I put sunscreen on my shoulders twice because I could feel the sunburn starting. My daughter picked dandelions for me while she waited for her game to start. My youngest ran around with some other kids and tried running on the field in the middle of the game, as he does every week. I had to move my chair and the two bags I brought three times to different fields. My older son ran out of water. All the kids repeatedly bugged me for candy from the concession stand. I was starting to get cranky as I got hotter. And I figured I'd look like a lobster by the time we left.
However, despite the "inconveniences" and little annoyances, I admire my son and my daughter for playing soccer. I never did team sports growing up. I did gymnastics and dance for a few years, and I spent my high school years in the marching band, which I suppose is kind of the same thing as being on a sports team and kind of not. I appreciate the fact that my kids are learning team spirit and scoring and sharing the ball and a variety of rules that I don't know. So despite the hassle of getting 4 or 5 people up and out the door before 8am some Saturday mornings, I try my best not to complain about it. I support my kids and the sports they want to participate in, and if they discover one that they love, then I'll support them as long as they want to play it. The good comes with the bad, as they say. But I figure the experience of playing and the friendships they could potentially make and carry with them for years and years far outweigh having to get up at 6am on Saturday mornings. That's a responsibility I accept, because watching my kids play sports and grow, definitely makes me happy.
My son's team won the first game, which meant they played again at 9:55, and my daughter's game was at 10:30. So there was a slight gap and a slight overlap. I put sunscreen on my shoulders twice because I could feel the sunburn starting. My daughter picked dandelions for me while she waited for her game to start. My youngest ran around with some other kids and tried running on the field in the middle of the game, as he does every week. I had to move my chair and the two bags I brought three times to different fields. My older son ran out of water. All the kids repeatedly bugged me for candy from the concession stand. I was starting to get cranky as I got hotter. And I figured I'd look like a lobster by the time we left.
However, despite the "inconveniences" and little annoyances, I admire my son and my daughter for playing soccer. I never did team sports growing up. I did gymnastics and dance for a few years, and I spent my high school years in the marching band, which I suppose is kind of the same thing as being on a sports team and kind of not. I appreciate the fact that my kids are learning team spirit and scoring and sharing the ball and a variety of rules that I don't know. So despite the hassle of getting 4 or 5 people up and out the door before 8am some Saturday mornings, I try my best not to complain about it. I support my kids and the sports they want to participate in, and if they discover one that they love, then I'll support them as long as they want to play it. The good comes with the bad, as they say. But I figure the experience of playing and the friendships they could potentially make and carry with them for years and years far outweigh having to get up at 6am on Saturday mornings. That's a responsibility I accept, because watching my kids play sports and grow, definitely makes me happy.
The Dawn of a New Day
"Today is going to be a great day. Don't start your day with a negative attitude. It's hard to understand why so many people wake up each morning feeling defeated when each day holds so much potential. The possibilities that today offers are endless, so eagerly anticipate wonderful happenings. It's easy to let blessings go by unnoticed if you're not looking."
This is a quote I took from a Facebook friend's status Thursday. Which was appropriate because I had a bad night Thursday night and woke up in a bad mood Friday morning. And I thought of this quote. Which pretty much sums up everything I've been striving to teach myself throughout the course of this month. I sometimes have a very hard time letting go of things. I hold grudges. I dwell on what was said or things that happened. I re-enact in my head how I could have handled situations better. And all these things are fine and good - to a point. You learn, you move on. With the beginning of another day, you take a big breath and think "I can do it. I can make it through today." This is much easier for some than it is for others. But still, if you think about it, why would it be so hard to have this attitude at the beginning of each day. I mean, after all, it is a new beginning. You go to sleep at night, recharge your body, empty your mind, refresh yourself and start again the next morning. Everyone has bad days, don't get me wrong - I know that. And sometimes a bad night has a way of carrying over to the next day, and sometimes despite our best intentions, things just don't go our way right off the bat causing us to be in a foul mood early. These things happen. But that doesn't mean that we have to let it ruin the whole rest of the day. There's still a chance for us to start over and recognize the blessings that we are being given throughout that day.
Friday, when I woke up in a bad mood, I thought about this quote for quite a while. And I reasoned with myself that even though I went to sleep not feeling so happy, I could still focus on the positive things that I noticed as Friday progressed. I could tuck Thursday's happenings under my belt, learn from them, and carry on, being grateful for what's ahead. So that's what I forced myself to do. And you know what? It worked. I had a pretty good day Friday.
Ditching the negative attitude and looking forward to the day's potential and possibilities = AHA.
This is a quote I took from a Facebook friend's status Thursday. Which was appropriate because I had a bad night Thursday night and woke up in a bad mood Friday morning. And I thought of this quote. Which pretty much sums up everything I've been striving to teach myself throughout the course of this month. I sometimes have a very hard time letting go of things. I hold grudges. I dwell on what was said or things that happened. I re-enact in my head how I could have handled situations better. And all these things are fine and good - to a point. You learn, you move on. With the beginning of another day, you take a big breath and think "I can do it. I can make it through today." This is much easier for some than it is for others. But still, if you think about it, why would it be so hard to have this attitude at the beginning of each day. I mean, after all, it is a new beginning. You go to sleep at night, recharge your body, empty your mind, refresh yourself and start again the next morning. Everyone has bad days, don't get me wrong - I know that. And sometimes a bad night has a way of carrying over to the next day, and sometimes despite our best intentions, things just don't go our way right off the bat causing us to be in a foul mood early. These things happen. But that doesn't mean that we have to let it ruin the whole rest of the day. There's still a chance for us to start over and recognize the blessings that we are being given throughout that day.
Friday, when I woke up in a bad mood, I thought about this quote for quite a while. And I reasoned with myself that even though I went to sleep not feeling so happy, I could still focus on the positive things that I noticed as Friday progressed. I could tuck Thursday's happenings under my belt, learn from them, and carry on, being grateful for what's ahead. So that's what I forced myself to do. And you know what? It worked. I had a pretty good day Friday.
Ditching the negative attitude and looking forward to the day's potential and possibilities = AHA.
AHA of a 4-Year-Old
I had my 9-year-old son answer a few questions a couple of nights ago, and now it's my 4-year-old daughter's turn.
Me: What things make you happy?
Daughter: Being with my family, playing outside very nicely, and I like playing with my brother. I like watching TV, that makes me happy a little, too. Watching TV with the dogs. Playing with all of my family.
Me: What things are you thankful for?
Daughter: My horsey. That's my first best toy. The Dora dog is my second one.
Me: What are some other things you are glad you have?
Daughter: Coloring books, when someone's using it and when they're done they give it to me. Reading books all by myself. And playing all by myself.
Me: Is there anything else that makes you happy?
Daughter: Having a sleepover with some of our friends.
Me: Thank you for answering my questions.
Daughter: You're welcome. That's a lot of words for me!
Moral of the story: AHA = simple pleasures.
Me: What things make you happy?
Daughter: Being with my family, playing outside very nicely, and I like playing with my brother. I like watching TV, that makes me happy a little, too. Watching TV with the dogs. Playing with all of my family.
Me: What things are you thankful for?
Daughter: My horsey. That's my first best toy. The Dora dog is my second one.
Me: What are some other things you are glad you have?
Daughter: Coloring books, when someone's using it and when they're done they give it to me. Reading books all by myself. And playing all by myself.
Me: Is there anything else that makes you happy?
Daughter: Having a sleepover with some of our friends.
Me: Thank you for answering my questions.
Daughter: You're welcome. That's a lot of words for me!
Moral of the story: AHA = simple pleasures.
Everyday Mundane (Part 2)
I'm going to sort of keep with the same theme as yesterday, but in a slightly different vein. What are some things that you have to deal with day in and day out that you just don't like, but you have to accept them as necessary and appreciate them as important? Here are a few of mine.
- Laundry. C'mon, now, who really enjoys doing laundry? Not many people I know, but it is certainly necessary, unless we were to move to a nudist colony, which I have threatened to do! (I swear those clothes multiply by themselves!)
- Dishes. We have a dishwasher, and it's one of the nicest amenities of any dwelling I've ever lived in, but still the dishes pile up on the counter. I'm not really sure why, other than we're usually just in too much of a hurry when cleaning up after a meal to take the few moments to rinse them and stick them in the washer. When we run out of counter space, then we make time to load the dishwasher. Washing the dishes may not be quite as important as doing laundry, but it's still necessary. We'd waste a lot of money on paper products if we never again washed another dish. (Not to mention our kitchen would be super-gross in no time!)
- Picking up toys. Probably my most disdained chore, which would explain why most of the time my house looks like it survived a hurricane. But it's gotta get done. The place would be completely unbearable if we let the kids put their stuff where ever they wanted to all the time. I'm not the cleanliest of people, but I like to be able to get from point A to point B in any given room without stepping over or on things all the time.
- After-meal clean up. I suppose this goes hand in hand with doing dishes, since meals are the time when the most amount of dishes are accumulated. Again, holy grossness if the food scraps don't get into the trash or condiments don't get put back in the fridge and cupboards where they belong.
- Trash. The dreaded trash. Food scraps, dirty diapers, snotty tissues, dust bunnies (and other bigger dust creatures)... Eww. Have you ever imagined what your house would look/smell like if you didn't take out the trash? I know what mine smells like after one too many dirty diapers are left lying around for too long. Wow! I love trash day just for that reason!
The Everyday Mundane
I'm going to try things a little differently tonight. So far, I've been focusing pretty much on one thing, event or happening that I've pegged as the source for my AHA. Tonight, I'd like to recognize those things which are typically labeled as "mundane" or "boring" but still are things that can bring AHA.
- Having a car. Having two cars, in fact. Our lives would be much more hectic and more difficult if we were not able to have this luxury/necessity.
- Having family close by. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em. ;) But we can live just far enough away that they are there when we need them and we can still go home when we need to.
- A job. A husband with a job. As much as we don't like our jobs sometimes, this is a huge blessing in and of itself. And a car to get there - bonus.
- Good child care. To go along with the blessing of having two jobs, we also have the blessing of knowing that all 3 kids are well taken care of when we're not around. Another huge blessing.
- Food. Sometimes we have to make difficult money choices, but at the end of the day, the kids (and usually us) always go to bed with 3 meals in our bellies. Even when we "have no food in the house" we have more than some others do.
- Friends. I know I've talked a lot about my friends in previous entries of this blog, but I just can't stress it enough. In addition to family, friends are the most important thing to me. Ever. I consider myself extremely blessed to know the people I know.
- Life. As in being alive. Every year at Christmastime, my husband and I watch "It's a Wonderful Life" and I ponder what life for others would be like without me. First, and most obviously, my kids would not be here and that would just be a shame because they are incredibly awesome kids. When I take the time to really consider it, I realize that my life touches the lives of a whole lot of others. I hope that I'm living so others will be proud to know me.
Family
I got to see some of my family today, which was fairly unexpected, and very cool. My aunt called me this morning at work, and drove the 40 minutes to come up and chat with me during my half hour lunch. My mom and dad drove two hours to pick up my son from school, watch my daughter's soccer practice and take us all out to dinner. Families are cool like that.
Growing up, I never fully appreciated my parents and everything they did for me. My mom and I fought all the time. My dad annoyed me quite often. (And yes, I'm fully aware that at least one of them will most likely read this.) And looking back, I was definitely not the easiest person to live with. However, they were always there for me. They've bailed me out of I don't know how many situations. I probably would have been living in a box on a street corner in the panhandle of Florida for the past 12 years if it hadn't been for them. Heck, I probably never would have even made it to Florida way back in '96 if it hadn't been for them. They've given me lots of opportunities to do lots of things, and although I'm sure I didn't make them happy all the time, they have pretty much let me make my own choices and live my own adult life. Now I am a parent and I'm beginning to understand how they've felt all these years and the stress, worry, pride and happiness they went through. (And my kids aren't even teens yet!)
I can clearly remember some characteristics about 4 of my great-grandparents, even though I knew most of them for only a short time. My grandparents, too, have put many fond memories into my head. Both my grandfathers have passed on, but my grandmothers are still around, and it still makes me smile to talk with them on the phone or get a card from them in the mail.
As for my aunt and uncles, I've always thought they were a little crazy (and I mean that in the most loving way possible), and I've admired them for it. They make me laugh, they have wild imaginations, they go out of their way to treat me well, they are very loving and giving people. Even though we are all spread out geographically, I know that with just a phone call or email, my aunt, my 2 uncles, my mom or my dad would do whatever they can to help me with whatever I need anytime. And that's a pretty good feeling to have.
We all have family. Whether or not they are blood relatives is irrelevant. Consider the people you call "family" and take a few minutes to genuinely appreciate them. Our lives would be a lot less enjoyable sometimes without them there.
Growing up, I never fully appreciated my parents and everything they did for me. My mom and I fought all the time. My dad annoyed me quite often. (And yes, I'm fully aware that at least one of them will most likely read this.) And looking back, I was definitely not the easiest person to live with. However, they were always there for me. They've bailed me out of I don't know how many situations. I probably would have been living in a box on a street corner in the panhandle of Florida for the past 12 years if it hadn't been for them. Heck, I probably never would have even made it to Florida way back in '96 if it hadn't been for them. They've given me lots of opportunities to do lots of things, and although I'm sure I didn't make them happy all the time, they have pretty much let me make my own choices and live my own adult life. Now I am a parent and I'm beginning to understand how they've felt all these years and the stress, worry, pride and happiness they went through. (And my kids aren't even teens yet!)
I can clearly remember some characteristics about 4 of my great-grandparents, even though I knew most of them for only a short time. My grandparents, too, have put many fond memories into my head. Both my grandfathers have passed on, but my grandmothers are still around, and it still makes me smile to talk with them on the phone or get a card from them in the mail.
As for my aunt and uncles, I've always thought they were a little crazy (and I mean that in the most loving way possible), and I've admired them for it. They make me laugh, they have wild imaginations, they go out of their way to treat me well, they are very loving and giving people. Even though we are all spread out geographically, I know that with just a phone call or email, my aunt, my 2 uncles, my mom or my dad would do whatever they can to help me with whatever I need anytime. And that's a pretty good feeling to have.
We all have family. Whether or not they are blood relatives is irrelevant. Consider the people you call "family" and take a few minutes to genuinely appreciate them. Our lives would be a lot less enjoyable sometimes without them there.
Bounce House and Reptiles
I took the kids to a local hot air balloon fest today. The ride (for lack of a better word) of choice for the day was the bounce house. All three kids went in multiple times and had a blast every single moment they were in there. They jumped, they ran, they bounced, they slid, they fell over, they fell on top of one another, and they laughed. They absolutely loved the bounce house.
As I stood there watching them (and taking pictures), I couldn't help but smile and think how incredibly awesome it is to just have a grand old time bouncing. In fact, every kid who went in there laughed and smiled and giggled and did not want to come out when they were told to. What is it about a bounce house that's so attractive to kids? I suppose the freedom to just jump (because, really, what kid doesn't like to jump?), maybe the randomness of where they land, the feeling of exhilaration as they "fly" through the air and down the slide. I have to admit it does look fun. I think in that house, the kids experience their own AHA. And I think from watching them, they showed me AHA too.
The hot air balloons were cool to look at, too. We all liked watching them blow up, then lift off the ground and fly high above our heads. It was a beautiful sight. The other attraction they liked was the reptile rescue tent. They had a number of different snakes, including a really big python, a variety of lizards, 4 tortoises, and a couple of small turtles. There were a number of different handlers who each had a reptile that the general public could look at and/or touch. "Speedy" the 16-year-old tortoise was out of his confine for quite a while and had a fairly large crowd following him around. And he was, in fact, fairly speedy. I had a hard time getting a good picture of him and the kids because somebody always kept moving. I was pretty amazed, and proud, that all three of them enjoyed touching various reptiles with very little fear. Even the youngest walked right up and made friends with the python. It's truly amazing to think that kids are born with no fear of anything. Another moment of AHA born from watching my kids gently interact with nature's creatures.
The bounce house still won the most kudos. I can't remember the last time I went in a bounce house. Maybe I'll consider renting one for our next birthday party, as long as I can afford one big enough to let the adults jump too.
As I stood there watching them (and taking pictures), I couldn't help but smile and think how incredibly awesome it is to just have a grand old time bouncing. In fact, every kid who went in there laughed and smiled and giggled and did not want to come out when they were told to. What is it about a bounce house that's so attractive to kids? I suppose the freedom to just jump (because, really, what kid doesn't like to jump?), maybe the randomness of where they land, the feeling of exhilaration as they "fly" through the air and down the slide. I have to admit it does look fun. I think in that house, the kids experience their own AHA. And I think from watching them, they showed me AHA too.
The hot air balloons were cool to look at, too. We all liked watching them blow up, then lift off the ground and fly high above our heads. It was a beautiful sight. The other attraction they liked was the reptile rescue tent. They had a number of different snakes, including a really big python, a variety of lizards, 4 tortoises, and a couple of small turtles. There were a number of different handlers who each had a reptile that the general public could look at and/or touch. "Speedy" the 16-year-old tortoise was out of his confine for quite a while and had a fairly large crowd following him around. And he was, in fact, fairly speedy. I had a hard time getting a good picture of him and the kids because somebody always kept moving. I was pretty amazed, and proud, that all three of them enjoyed touching various reptiles with very little fear. Even the youngest walked right up and made friends with the python. It's truly amazing to think that kids are born with no fear of anything. Another moment of AHA born from watching my kids gently interact with nature's creatures.
The bounce house still won the most kudos. I can't remember the last time I went in a bounce house. Maybe I'll consider renting one for our next birthday party, as long as I can afford one big enough to let the adults jump too.
More Simple AHA
Last night, I had dinner with some very dear friends. We sat outside at the picnic table and chatted, while watching the birds and squirrels run around the yard. It was simple, but it was nothing short of amazing. Spending time with close friends is always a moment of AHA, as is watching nature do it's thing.
I then went out to a local bar as part of reunion weekend. Had a good time meeting a few new people and catching up with some others whom I haven't seen in quite a while. I allowed myself to let go a little. I laughed, I chatted, I told a story or two, I had fun.
Today, I brought the kids with me and we went out to the reunion picnic. Unfortunately, it rained most of the day. But the picnic was still fun. I got to chat with more friends, and the kids had a great time blowing bubbles in the rain and sliding down the inflatable slide into a small ball pit. I tried teaching my youngest son how to blow bubbles, and he did it a few times, which was exhilarating. All that was my AHA- watching the kids bounce down the slide into the ball pit and screeching with joy, watching them blow and chase bubbles in a light, misty rain, and watching the youngest try and try to blow the bubbles out of the wand and seeing him not give up until it happened. Simple moments of happiness.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll drag out the gallon jug of bubble solution someone gave to us and we can find simple AHA again.
I then went out to a local bar as part of reunion weekend. Had a good time meeting a few new people and catching up with some others whom I haven't seen in quite a while. I allowed myself to let go a little. I laughed, I chatted, I told a story or two, I had fun.
Today, I brought the kids with me and we went out to the reunion picnic. Unfortunately, it rained most of the day. But the picnic was still fun. I got to chat with more friends, and the kids had a great time blowing bubbles in the rain and sliding down the inflatable slide into a small ball pit. I tried teaching my youngest son how to blow bubbles, and he did it a few times, which was exhilarating. All that was my AHA- watching the kids bounce down the slide into the ball pit and screeching with joy, watching them blow and chase bubbles in a light, misty rain, and watching the youngest try and try to blow the bubbles out of the wand and seeing him not give up until it happened. Simple moments of happiness.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll drag out the gallon jug of bubble solution someone gave to us and we can find simple AHA again.
Let Go and Have Fun
This weekend is my college reunion. Well, that's not entirely true. My college groups 3 classes together, so even though I graduated 14 years ago, my class is invited to the 15 year reunion of the Class of 1995. And the music fraternity I'm a member of is having a few reunion events. I am really looking forward to it, but a lot of friends I was hoping to see won't be there, which makes me sad. And a little nervous. I don't like being in situations by myself, meaning where I don't know (or don't know well) anyone else. I don't always make friends easily and - contrary to what others may tell you - I'm not much of a conversationalist when I don't know people. I know that there are going to be some people of the "younger generations" of the fraternity there... people I don't know (or don't know very well). [Anyone else seeing that "Worry" theme coming back into play?] I like making new friends, and getting to know people better, but in the back of my mind there's that nagging thought of "I hope I say the right thing. I hope they like me!"
Keeping in line with yesterday's thoughts, I need to just accept myself and accept that some people will like me and others may not. I have to learn how to let go and just let myself have fun instead of worrying about.... well, anything! Sometimes you just have to cut loose and not give a damn as to what others think. I've never sung karaoke because I've always been too self-conscious of what others will think of me. Who cares?? I'm trying to make it a goal of mine to just act how I want to act (within reason, of course!) and not really care what others think. Just go and let myself have fun. That's what it's all about. Yes, the bills need to be paid, and I have to go to work, and the kids need to be fed and chores need to be done, but if you can't have fun while doing all the things that need to be done, what's the point?? And this weekend is a perfect opportunity to let go and have fun. So, whatever it is you have planned for the weekend, make sure you have fun with it! It will be much more worth it if you do!
Keeping in line with yesterday's thoughts, I need to just accept myself and accept that some people will like me and others may not. I have to learn how to let go and just let myself have fun instead of worrying about.... well, anything! Sometimes you just have to cut loose and not give a damn as to what others think. I've never sung karaoke because I've always been too self-conscious of what others will think of me. Who cares?? I'm trying to make it a goal of mine to just act how I want to act (within reason, of course!) and not really care what others think. Just go and let myself have fun. That's what it's all about. Yes, the bills need to be paid, and I have to go to work, and the kids need to be fed and chores need to be done, but if you can't have fun while doing all the things that need to be done, what's the point?? And this weekend is a perfect opportunity to let go and have fun. So, whatever it is you have planned for the weekend, make sure you have fun with it! It will be much more worth it if you do!
Standards of My Own
I worry. A lot. Usually about really ridiculous things. I worry about the big things, too, like paying bills and feeding my kids and taking care of my house and how much college tuition will be when my 2-year-old turns 18.... OK, that's a little over the top, I know. My point is, I'm a worrier. Always have been, most likely always will be. But, as I said, some of my worries stem from really stupid things. Like whether people like me or not, if I said the right thing in a conversation, if my clothes are "cool"... basically I worry about what other people think of me. I don't consider myself a "fake" person and I don't really think that I spend a lot of time pretending to care about things that I don't like just for the sake of having someone accept me, but I think about it a lot. I hold myself to other's standards. So, what are my standards? If I'm always holding myself up to the standards of someone else, I don't really have any of my own. And that's not good.
I have to be able to accept myself - as is - and let others make the choice to accept me, too. If I decide I don't like something, then I change it. I can't spend my life worrying about what other people think of me, or whether I'm living up to their standards. I have to set my own standards.
There's more I want to add to this, but it will have to wait. My brain is tired out, and shutting down. AHA for the day is accept yourself. Set your own standards. It's OK to admire other people, and use other people's standards as guides for your own. But don't let anyone else determine what's good or bad about you. You figure that part out yourself. Then accept yourself, flaws and all, and live to let the world see the aspects of yourself that you are most proud of. Because we all have reasons to be proud.
I have to be able to accept myself - as is - and let others make the choice to accept me, too. If I decide I don't like something, then I change it. I can't spend my life worrying about what other people think of me, or whether I'm living up to their standards. I have to set my own standards.
There's more I want to add to this, but it will have to wait. My brain is tired out, and shutting down. AHA for the day is accept yourself. Set your own standards. It's OK to admire other people, and use other people's standards as guides for your own. But don't let anyone else determine what's good or bad about you. You figure that part out yourself. Then accept yourself, flaws and all, and live to let the world see the aspects of yourself that you are most proud of. Because we all have reasons to be proud.
Facing Confrontation and Accepting the Outcome
I've never been one to have much to do with confrontation. In fact, I usually run from the very first sign of it and bury my head in the sand. I'm kind of a coward in that way. And after all these years of running away from confrontation as best I can, I've been thinking that in the end I had learned something from said confrontation. But, I've come to realize that I haven't actually learned as much as I had thought. Rather, I have quite a lot to learn about myself, and others, and relationships and confrontation and resolution. (Didn't they ever cover all this in school?)
Last night, I had a very large, very ugly argument with someone I've been good friends with for quite a long time. It hurt to be so angry with them, and part of me was angry as a result of their actions and words, and part of me was angry at me... for being angry with them. When I finally went to bed, I was very sad and very exhausted. When I woke up this morning, despite my best efforts to take on a "It's a new day" kind of attitude, I was still in a bad mood when I got to work. And I had all day to sit at my desk and dwell on the things that were said and the feelings that eroded out of that argument. And it did not make for very happy moments. In fact, I spent most of the morning wanting to hide in a studio and cry. However, as the day went on and I looked at the situation a little differently, I began to understand that I didn't have to dwell on the bad things and let myself continue to be in a bad mood because of something that happened the day before. The argument was gone. But how I chose to handle it in the present was still up in the air. I could continue to be in a bad mood and mope about all the mistakes that I made and things that I said that I shouldn't have. Or I could own up to my stupid actions, sincerely apologize, let myself get over it and hope my friend did the same. So I wrote a letter of apology. Not typed on the computer, but handwritten. I explained exactly what it was that I did that I felt was inappropriate, something I could have done to handle the situation better, and my aspirations for how to handle a difficult situation like that again in the future. I wanted my friend to know that I understood and regretted the actions I chose in the heat of the angry moment. I wanted them to know that my behavior towards them was unacceptable if I wanted to continue a good friendship with them. And I wanted them to know how I plan to change my behavior if/when we are faced with a similar situation.
I think writing that letter lifted a burden off my shoulders, as I felt better the rest of the afternoon and was even in a pretty good mood when I got home. On my way home, I stopped by their house and gave the letter to them. I haven't spoken to them about it, and maybe that's ok. The past is past, and I need to learn to just accept things and move on. You'd think by now I would have learned that, but then I go and open my mouth when I'm angry and say stupid things and start stupid fights. I know that my relationship with this person is not 100% repaired. I hope that if I can just let the past go, learn from my mistakes, and do my best to treat them in the best manner possible, that we will again have a solid, reliable friendship. I also hope that if I do those things, my friend will too. And if they can't let the past go or forgive me for things that I did, then I need to accept that our friendship may not be the same as it was. But I need to continue to treat them the best I can. Because they are a friend, and they are an important part of my life. So much of who we are is built around the friends we keep. But we cannot make choices for other people, and (no matter how hard we may try) we can't truly control what someone else will do. We have to make our own choices, and accept that others make theirs.
Tomorrow is another day, and I will try again to do my best.
Last night, I had a very large, very ugly argument with someone I've been good friends with for quite a long time. It hurt to be so angry with them, and part of me was angry as a result of their actions and words, and part of me was angry at me... for being angry with them. When I finally went to bed, I was very sad and very exhausted. When I woke up this morning, despite my best efforts to take on a "It's a new day" kind of attitude, I was still in a bad mood when I got to work. And I had all day to sit at my desk and dwell on the things that were said and the feelings that eroded out of that argument. And it did not make for very happy moments. In fact, I spent most of the morning wanting to hide in a studio and cry. However, as the day went on and I looked at the situation a little differently, I began to understand that I didn't have to dwell on the bad things and let myself continue to be in a bad mood because of something that happened the day before. The argument was gone. But how I chose to handle it in the present was still up in the air. I could continue to be in a bad mood and mope about all the mistakes that I made and things that I said that I shouldn't have. Or I could own up to my stupid actions, sincerely apologize, let myself get over it and hope my friend did the same. So I wrote a letter of apology. Not typed on the computer, but handwritten. I explained exactly what it was that I did that I felt was inappropriate, something I could have done to handle the situation better, and my aspirations for how to handle a difficult situation like that again in the future. I wanted my friend to know that I understood and regretted the actions I chose in the heat of the angry moment. I wanted them to know that my behavior towards them was unacceptable if I wanted to continue a good friendship with them. And I wanted them to know how I plan to change my behavior if/when we are faced with a similar situation.
I think writing that letter lifted a burden off my shoulders, as I felt better the rest of the afternoon and was even in a pretty good mood when I got home. On my way home, I stopped by their house and gave the letter to them. I haven't spoken to them about it, and maybe that's ok. The past is past, and I need to learn to just accept things and move on. You'd think by now I would have learned that, but then I go and open my mouth when I'm angry and say stupid things and start stupid fights. I know that my relationship with this person is not 100% repaired. I hope that if I can just let the past go, learn from my mistakes, and do my best to treat them in the best manner possible, that we will again have a solid, reliable friendship. I also hope that if I do those things, my friend will too. And if they can't let the past go or forgive me for things that I did, then I need to accept that our friendship may not be the same as it was. But I need to continue to treat them the best I can. Because they are a friend, and they are an important part of my life. So much of who we are is built around the friends we keep. But we cannot make choices for other people, and (no matter how hard we may try) we can't truly control what someone else will do. We have to make our own choices, and accept that others make theirs.
Tomorrow is another day, and I will try again to do my best.
Simplest Joys = Greatest AHAs
Today's AHA moment is another example of the simple joys of life. The kids and I got to pick strawberries out of my aunt's garden. How wonderful! Me, my 3 kids, my aunt, my uncle and my cousin were all rummaging around the garden looking for the best red strawberries we could find. We all had a great time, and we all (except my daughter) loved eating the berries, straight off the plant. Ahhh, the simple joys of summer.
That's it. Picking strawberries = AHA. Cheers!
AHA of a 9-Year-Old
Today, I'm having my 9-year-old son help "guest write" for me. Here's our interview.
Me: What things do you accept, even if you don't like them?
Son: When I don't do my homework, and I have to stay in for free time at school. When I'm sick and I have to take medicine that tastes yucky.
Me: What things make you happy?
Son: My family, because they are fun and friendly and lovable. Playing outside on a warm day. Sleeping at my Gramma and Grampa's. Video games. Looking at the stars at night.
Me: What things are you appreciative of?
Son: What does that mean?
Me: That means things that you're thankful for.
Son: Everything that I said I liked, pretty much.
Me: Anything else you want to add?
Son: No, not that I can think of.
Me: Ok. Thanks for doing an interview with me.
Sometimes to get the AHA moment, we have to take a step back and look at things in a simpler way. We each have days that are boring, or things that happen to us that put us in a bad mood, and sometimes it's hard to find those bright AHA moments. But if we can just remember that we all have friends and family and simple things (like video games or playing outside) that make us happy, we can lift ourselves out of the doldrums and give ourselves reasons to be happy again.
Me: What things do you accept, even if you don't like them?
Son: When I don't do my homework, and I have to stay in for free time at school. When I'm sick and I have to take medicine that tastes yucky.
Me: What things make you happy?
Son: My family, because they are fun and friendly and lovable. Playing outside on a warm day. Sleeping at my Gramma and Grampa's. Video games. Looking at the stars at night.
Me: What things are you appreciative of?
Son: What does that mean?
Me: That means things that you're thankful for.
Son: Everything that I said I liked, pretty much.
Me: Anything else you want to add?
Son: No, not that I can think of.
Me: Ok. Thanks for doing an interview with me.
Sometimes to get the AHA moment, we have to take a step back and look at things in a simpler way. We each have days that are boring, or things that happen to us that put us in a bad mood, and sometimes it's hard to find those bright AHA moments. But if we can just remember that we all have friends and family and simple things (like video games or playing outside) that make us happy, we can lift ourselves out of the doldrums and give ourselves reasons to be happy again.
Big AHA from Small Passions
I've been considering for a few hours now what my AHA moment of the day has been. It's been a fairly quiet day, and there were no huge burst of lightning "HERE'S THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR" kind of moments. However, I did do a Creative Memories get together, which I haven't done in .... quite a while. It was nice to get out of the house and concentrate on something that I truly enjoy doing (as opposed to laundry and dishes, which I only sort of enjoy doing). I got to talk about all the great reasons as to why I love CM (and don't worry, that's not the point to this post), meet some new people, and hang out with a few really cool ladies.
Talking about the various ways to scrapbook and the various products one can use is always a favorite subject for me. Scrapbooking has been my therapeutic outlet for a number of years. Partly because I can provide proof of the fun and cool things my family has done over the years, and I get to "watch" my kids grow up again, but this time in slow motion. I can savor how my 9-year-old looked when he was 4, how my 4-year-old looked when she was 2, or how my 2-year-old looked when he was born. And all 3 kids love flipping through the pages of my scrapbooks to look at themselves, or laugh at each other. The scrapbooks provide yet another means for me to feel appreciated. And, scrapbooking just plain makes me happy!
The get together this afternoon was small, and I left without any orders. But I was happy all the same, because I got to talk about my passion and share why I'm passionate about it. I met new people, which is always a bonus in my book, and I got to network a little. I'm extremely appreciative to my friend who hosted it, and I'm happy that I got to feel appreciated by helping the guests understand CM a little more.
When I got home, I pulled out some of my papers and tools, and sat at the table with my daughter to make Father's Day cards for my husband. We spent about an hour or so cutting and taping paper together. It was a short "therapy" session, but it felt good to do just a little. What is your passion? Finding your passion, and working even just a little bit on it can be a huge AHA moment. A moment that might make the not-so-good stuff in your life a little easier to accept, because you are doing something that truly makes you happy.
:) Cheers
Talking about the various ways to scrapbook and the various products one can use is always a favorite subject for me. Scrapbooking has been my therapeutic outlet for a number of years. Partly because I can provide proof of the fun and cool things my family has done over the years, and I get to "watch" my kids grow up again, but this time in slow motion. I can savor how my 9-year-old looked when he was 4, how my 4-year-old looked when she was 2, or how my 2-year-old looked when he was born. And all 3 kids love flipping through the pages of my scrapbooks to look at themselves, or laugh at each other. The scrapbooks provide yet another means for me to feel appreciated. And, scrapbooking just plain makes me happy!
The get together this afternoon was small, and I left without any orders. But I was happy all the same, because I got to talk about my passion and share why I'm passionate about it. I met new people, which is always a bonus in my book, and I got to network a little. I'm extremely appreciative to my friend who hosted it, and I'm happy that I got to feel appreciated by helping the guests understand CM a little more.
When I got home, I pulled out some of my papers and tools, and sat at the table with my daughter to make Father's Day cards for my husband. We spent about an hour or so cutting and taping paper together. It was a short "therapy" session, but it felt good to do just a little. What is your passion? Finding your passion, and working even just a little bit on it can be a huge AHA moment. A moment that might make the not-so-good stuff in your life a little easier to accept, because you are doing something that truly makes you happy.
:) Cheers
The Art of Appreciation
Today I had a work event. Greeting and mingling with listeners. Not really something I usually look forward to, mostly just because I get uncomfortable trying to initiate conversations with people I don't know. But, inevitably, I can fake courage long enough to have a few conversations and smile a lot and when it's all over I say, "That was fun." Today, as I was smiling and talking with people, I began to think about this AHA project I started for myself. I realized that being appreciated is a cool feeling. Even though I don't always look forward to this type of event, and I feel that I have nothing to say to these people I don't really know, I realized that they feel like they know me because they listen to my station. And I have something in common with them because they hear a lot of the same information that I do. And I bring them a service that they truly appreciate. When people see my nametag, they smile and say, "Oh, you're Kate Percival. I listen to you all the time! I love this station!" I am appreciated. By people I don't know. That's a pretty cool feeling.
Tonight, when I came home, I had a long talk with a very, very dear friend. Some of the discussion was happy and made me laugh and some was a bit sad. I lost count of how many times I said to him and he said to me, "Thank you." We need each other and we appreciate the other's support and love. It's a basic human need to be appreciated, wanted, needed, loved. When we show others how much we appreciate them, we almost always are shown the same feeling in return. It's like that old saying that goes something like, "If you want a friend, be a friend." If you want to feel appreciated, wanted, needed and loved, you have to appreciate, want, need and love someone else first.
I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings, and to really be honest with myself. And I appreciate any readers that I might have. I hope that I can give others something to think about, or offer another perspective in which to consider the world. The other night, I fell asleep before I could post an entry and I had two friends on Facebook ask where it was. That made me feel appreciated, and although I felt bad for messing up, I liked that they missed it! Thanks, Patti and Jen. I'd love for people to comment, if for nothing else to just say that they read this. That would make me feel appreciated enough. Thanks, all!
Tonight, when I came home, I had a long talk with a very, very dear friend. Some of the discussion was happy and made me laugh and some was a bit sad. I lost count of how many times I said to him and he said to me, "Thank you." We need each other and we appreciate the other's support and love. It's a basic human need to be appreciated, wanted, needed, loved. When we show others how much we appreciate them, we almost always are shown the same feeling in return. It's like that old saying that goes something like, "If you want a friend, be a friend." If you want to feel appreciated, wanted, needed and loved, you have to appreciate, want, need and love someone else first.
I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings, and to really be honest with myself. And I appreciate any readers that I might have. I hope that I can give others something to think about, or offer another perspective in which to consider the world. The other night, I fell asleep before I could post an entry and I had two friends on Facebook ask where it was. That made me feel appreciated, and although I felt bad for messing up, I liked that they missed it! Thanks, Patti and Jen. I'd love for people to comment, if for nothing else to just say that they read this. That would make me feel appreciated enough. Thanks, all!
Learning to Accept
I have a habit of allowing one bad event, feeling, or act to take over an entire day or ruin an otherwise perfectly good mood. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and although it seems like common sense to not let one incident take precedence over all others in a day, it's always been easy for me to dwell on the negative and think, "I did this wrong," or "I should have done that differently," or "@%$#, I screwed that up!" I'm (very slowly) learning that that kind of thinking doesn't usually help resolve a bad situation. Rather, I need to ask myself, "How could I have done that differently" or "What could I have said that would have had less of a negative impact?"
Likewise, I can't always expect the outcome of a situation be what I want or think it should be. I have to accept that others see things differently than I do, therefore forming different opinions. I may not agree with that opinion, but the least I can do is respect the other person and their feelings. I'm not the kind of person who thinks I'm always right (I'm usually too busy second-guessing myself to think that), but there are occasions when I feel the need to push my point again and again, no matter what the other person says or what their perception of the situation may be. This is not going to make me any friends, or score me any bonus points.
Acceptance is a very difficult thing, I think. At least for me. I am very appreciative of lots of things, and I try to be a very happy person, but accepting the things that I don't like is ... well, let's just say it's never been my specialty. I'm also a creature of habit. That doesn't really lend itself to easily accepting things that are unexpected or "out of the norm." More often than not, I find myself reacting badly to a situation or circumstances I don't like, then having to go back and apologize for my behavior. Apologies are all fine and good, and I certainly do encourage them, however - like I tell my kids - if you apologize for something you should try to not do it again. You screw up, you apologize, take mental notes, learn and when that situation presents itself again, you can say, "I've been here and the previous ending wasn't so good. So now I know what NOT to do." And then you do something different than what you did before.
I like to think of myself as a fairly quick, hands-on kind of learner. However, it's taken me a long time to learn to accept things as they are, and in fact I'm still learning. I've become better at recognizing the things I need to accept. Now I just have to be better at accepting them the first time around, instead of reacting badly then apologizing for it. I hope this journey will help me with that quest. I believe it already has.
Likewise, I can't always expect the outcome of a situation be what I want or think it should be. I have to accept that others see things differently than I do, therefore forming different opinions. I may not agree with that opinion, but the least I can do is respect the other person and their feelings. I'm not the kind of person who thinks I'm always right (I'm usually too busy second-guessing myself to think that), but there are occasions when I feel the need to push my point again and again, no matter what the other person says or what their perception of the situation may be. This is not going to make me any friends, or score me any bonus points.
Acceptance is a very difficult thing, I think. At least for me. I am very appreciative of lots of things, and I try to be a very happy person, but accepting the things that I don't like is ... well, let's just say it's never been my specialty. I'm also a creature of habit. That doesn't really lend itself to easily accepting things that are unexpected or "out of the norm." More often than not, I find myself reacting badly to a situation or circumstances I don't like, then having to go back and apologize for my behavior. Apologies are all fine and good, and I certainly do encourage them, however - like I tell my kids - if you apologize for something you should try to not do it again. You screw up, you apologize, take mental notes, learn and when that situation presents itself again, you can say, "I've been here and the previous ending wasn't so good. So now I know what NOT to do." And then you do something different than what you did before.
I like to think of myself as a fairly quick, hands-on kind of learner. However, it's taken me a long time to learn to accept things as they are, and in fact I'm still learning. I've become better at recognizing the things I need to accept. Now I just have to be better at accepting them the first time around, instead of reacting badly then apologizing for it. I hope this journey will help me with that quest. I believe it already has.
The Mud-Covered Moment of AHA
I took the kids out to dinner yesterday, then to a playground. I'm learning how to have moments of AHA with my three wonderful kids, instead of being focused on becoming overwhelmed at the 3:1 ratio. I'm also still learning (after 30-something years) that life isn't always about getting somewhere but enjoying the trip there. The point of going out to dinner, with anyone, isn't necessarily eating. It's enjoying their company, having a chance to talk, and letting someone else do the work for you! I could have very easily picked up the kids, taken them home, cooked the steak I had thawed out and maybe taken a walk or let them play in the yard before whisking them off to bed. It was warm yesterday, and I didn't feel like cooking, so I decided to do something a little different. Yeah, it cost some money, but I think $35 is worth the time for hanging out with my kids.
It was still fairly early when we finished dinner, and I knew they wanted to burn off some energy at one of their favorite playgrounds. So I let them run. And after making sure the two older ones understood the rules of Stranger Danger and not leaving the playground area without me, I decided it wasn't worth worrying about the exact GPS location of each kid at every moment. This, of course, came back to bite me when the youngest (who is by far the biggest dare-devil of the bunch) decided to go down the biggest slide by himself. This, in and of itself, wouldn't have been such a big deal - he's done slides by himself before - except this particular slide had a large mud puddle waiting at the bottom. Most kids would know to stop themselves and jump over the puddle. However, when you're barely 2, these things have yet to be learned. And he learned the hard way. Double bonus - when he decided to do this daring act, I was pushing my daughter on the swing at the other side of the playground. Last I checked, Kid #3 was hanging out with Kid #1, so I was happily pushing away on Kid #2 in the swing. Next moment, the dreaded, familiar wail came wafting through the air. I went running, and rounded the corner to find my darling son standing in the middle of the puddle, literally covered head to toe in mud. He has some scratches on his forehead, but otherwise emerged unscathed. As my poor baby stood, dripping and dirty, on the park bench, I made a decision. I wasn't angry with him - he was simply recreating something he enjoyed doing and didn't realize what the consequence of that would be. I wasn't embarrassed - this did not make me a bad mom, he was just too quick for any of us to notice what the end result of his actions would be. I was not angry with Kid #1, who swore up and down that he was the worst big brother in the world - he wanted to play on his own terms, and I can't expect him to take on the role of the parent. I simply picked up. I used up most of the baby wipes I had to clean off the mud as best I could. I stripped him down and put his clothes in a plastic bag, to be washed later. We left the playground and went to my work, where the kids could go to the bathroom and I could wash off my son's head a little better. After about 10 minutes of some intense crying and extreme displeasure with his state of cleanliness, he was fine. I'm thankful that it was a minor incident and we didn't have to run across the street to the hospital!
Things are never going to go as planned when kids are involved. After 9 years, I've learned this but I somehow still am learning to adapt. I'm a pretty big creature of habit, and I don't always like disruptions or surprises. But with kids, there are no hard, set rules. I have to be able to accept the events that happen, no matter how much they throw off my schedule. I have to be happy with my kids for being themselves, and hope that they will pay enough attention to me that they will remember a few of the lessons I try to teach them. And I have to appreciate the fact that they want to make their own choices and are brave enough to do so, without me holding their hand every step of the way. Kids are endless opportunities for AHA, if you're willing to look for them!
It was still fairly early when we finished dinner, and I knew they wanted to burn off some energy at one of their favorite playgrounds. So I let them run. And after making sure the two older ones understood the rules of Stranger Danger and not leaving the playground area without me, I decided it wasn't worth worrying about the exact GPS location of each kid at every moment. This, of course, came back to bite me when the youngest (who is by far the biggest dare-devil of the bunch) decided to go down the biggest slide by himself. This, in and of itself, wouldn't have been such a big deal - he's done slides by himself before - except this particular slide had a large mud puddle waiting at the bottom. Most kids would know to stop themselves and jump over the puddle. However, when you're barely 2, these things have yet to be learned. And he learned the hard way. Double bonus - when he decided to do this daring act, I was pushing my daughter on the swing at the other side of the playground. Last I checked, Kid #3 was hanging out with Kid #1, so I was happily pushing away on Kid #2 in the swing. Next moment, the dreaded, familiar wail came wafting through the air. I went running, and rounded the corner to find my darling son standing in the middle of the puddle, literally covered head to toe in mud. He has some scratches on his forehead, but otherwise emerged unscathed. As my poor baby stood, dripping and dirty, on the park bench, I made a decision. I wasn't angry with him - he was simply recreating something he enjoyed doing and didn't realize what the consequence of that would be. I wasn't embarrassed - this did not make me a bad mom, he was just too quick for any of us to notice what the end result of his actions would be. I was not angry with Kid #1, who swore up and down that he was the worst big brother in the world - he wanted to play on his own terms, and I can't expect him to take on the role of the parent. I simply picked up. I used up most of the baby wipes I had to clean off the mud as best I could. I stripped him down and put his clothes in a plastic bag, to be washed later. We left the playground and went to my work, where the kids could go to the bathroom and I could wash off my son's head a little better. After about 10 minutes of some intense crying and extreme displeasure with his state of cleanliness, he was fine. I'm thankful that it was a minor incident and we didn't have to run across the street to the hospital!
Things are never going to go as planned when kids are involved. After 9 years, I've learned this but I somehow still am learning to adapt. I'm a pretty big creature of habit, and I don't always like disruptions or surprises. But with kids, there are no hard, set rules. I have to be able to accept the events that happen, no matter how much they throw off my schedule. I have to be happy with my kids for being themselves, and hope that they will pay enough attention to me that they will remember a few of the lessons I try to teach them. And I have to appreciate the fact that they want to make their own choices and are brave enough to do so, without me holding their hand every step of the way. Kids are endless opportunities for AHA, if you're willing to look for them!
Seeing Through the Tears
I have learned that it's easy to be accepting, happy and appreciative when you're already in a good mood. It's not so easy when things REALLY don't go the way you want them to and you're in a bad mood. That's what happened to me today. The one shining moment that I am extremely appreciative of came when I was talking to a very dear, very awesome friend. She reminded me that I am an awesome, amazing and beautiful person, no matter how others make me feel at times. Someone made me feel really horrible today, and it was hard for me to see the AHA through all the tears. But talking to a very good friend is always an AHA moment, no matter how down in the dumps you feel.
She also reminded me that 70 people are now participating in my Facebook Happiness Project. Wow! That was something I started to make myself feel good and remind myself of all the happy things/events/people in my life. Now 70 (+) people, many of which I don't know, have jumped on the bandwagon to share what it is that makes them happy. Here are just few things I can think of quickly (in no particular order):
She also reminded me that 70 people are now participating in my Facebook Happiness Project. Wow! That was something I started to make myself feel good and remind myself of all the happy things/events/people in my life. Now 70 (+) people, many of which I don't know, have jumped on the bandwagon to share what it is that makes them happy. Here are just few things I can think of quickly (in no particular order):
- Talking with a good friend
- Being reminded that you're awesome and amazing (and being reminded quite often)
- Having the kids help calm you down when you cry, and helping to take care of each other while you cry.
- Being reminded that you play a pivotal role in a number of other people's lives. That's super-cool *A-H-A* moment.
Birth of One Small Happiness Project (Part 2)
Well, today was a typical, boring day at work and I was afraid that I wouldn't have anything to be AHA about. But there's always something if you look hard enough!
I picked up my daughter and youngest son from daycare (very appreciative of the daycare facilities on the SUNY Oswego campus and the teachers who work there) and drove to JCPenney (happy that I have a car with air conditioning) to look for a dress for my daughter. We have a wedding we are in at the end of the month. Rather than complain about how much money I have to spend on a dress for me, a dress for my daughter, a wedding gift, travel, etc, etc... I accept the fact that this a celebration for my SISTER, of all people!! Of course I'm happy for her! She found a wonderful man, she adores his kids, his kids adore her and everyone is happy! So, although finances are a big issue with me, I refuse to bring down my sister's happy occasion by worrying about trite things like money!
I also had a second AHA moment this afternoon. I created a Facebook Happiness Project to document those people, events and things around me that make me happy. The concept of this project is simple - use photos, a blog, notes, a scrapbook...whatever means you are comfortable with to keep track of whatever it is that makes you happy from day to day. When I checked it earlier today, I had 2 friends who were "attending" - me and my friend, Ken. I checked it later this afternoon and there were 30 guests, most of whom were invited by Ken! AHA!! Thanks, Ken! I truly appreciate his participation in these adventures as well as his support and the positive vibes he sends to everyone he knows!
I invite everyone to join in my journey of AHA, as well as the Happiness Project! Make the adventure more special by being someone else's cheerleader, too!
I picked up my daughter and youngest son from daycare (very appreciative of the daycare facilities on the SUNY Oswego campus and the teachers who work there) and drove to JCPenney (happy that I have a car with air conditioning) to look for a dress for my daughter. We have a wedding we are in at the end of the month. Rather than complain about how much money I have to spend on a dress for me, a dress for my daughter, a wedding gift, travel, etc, etc... I accept the fact that this a celebration for my SISTER, of all people!! Of course I'm happy for her! She found a wonderful man, she adores his kids, his kids adore her and everyone is happy! So, although finances are a big issue with me, I refuse to bring down my sister's happy occasion by worrying about trite things like money!
I also had a second AHA moment this afternoon. I created a Facebook Happiness Project to document those people, events and things around me that make me happy. The concept of this project is simple - use photos, a blog, notes, a scrapbook...whatever means you are comfortable with to keep track of whatever it is that makes you happy from day to day. When I checked it earlier today, I had 2 friends who were "attending" - me and my friend, Ken. I checked it later this afternoon and there were 30 guests, most of whom were invited by Ken! AHA!! Thanks, Ken! I truly appreciate his participation in these adventures as well as his support and the positive vibes he sends to everyone he knows!
I invite everyone to join in my journey of AHA, as well as the Happiness Project! Make the adventure more special by being someone else's cheerleader, too!
AHA Fail and Recovery (part 1)
I had an argument with a friend yesterday. I had certain expectations of the day, and when things started to veer away from the presumed path, I got upset. Therefore, I basically started the argument. Instead of accepting how things were, I was preoccupied with how I wanted things to be, and I caused myself stress. A big FAIL in the AHA journey.
This reminds me of a church school story that I remember from long ago. An old woman was told that she would be visited by Jesus. She got very excited and worked very hard to clean her house and make everything perfect for His arrival. One day, there was a knock at the door, and an old beggar man stood before the woman asking for a bit of food. "I can't have you come in," said the woman, "my Savior is coming to visit with me and I can't have you here." She turned him away and continued to clean. The next day, there was another knock and a young child stood at the door, saying she was lost. The woman turned her away as well. A third day, and a third knock. This time a leper, asking for help. The woman closed her door once again. On the fourth day, Jesus came and scolded the woman. "I came to you as a beggar man, as a young child and as a leper, and you did not let me in."
The moral of the story is we need to recognize opportunities that are given to us. The old woman was so focused on Jesus coming, that she didn't see the first three visitors as important. I have a bad habit of being so focused on how I want things to be that I overlook the opportunities to enjoy myself and people around me regardless of the situation. I wasn't going to write about this, but I decided that I need to accept that life is not always rainbows and butterflies and pure happiness. I recognized (albeit too late) the fact that I did not accept the situation as it was, and stressed out myself - and my friend - by being upset that things were not exactly as I wanted them to be. I hope that I can learn from this and be more aware of opportunities to accept and appreciate things as they are.
I'm labeling this post Part 1, because it's early in the day and I hope to have a better AHA moment by the time I go to bed tonight. Keep your eyes open every minute for those Moments of AHA. You never know when you'll find something good.
This reminds me of a church school story that I remember from long ago. An old woman was told that she would be visited by Jesus. She got very excited and worked very hard to clean her house and make everything perfect for His arrival. One day, there was a knock at the door, and an old beggar man stood before the woman asking for a bit of food. "I can't have you come in," said the woman, "my Savior is coming to visit with me and I can't have you here." She turned him away and continued to clean. The next day, there was another knock and a young child stood at the door, saying she was lost. The woman turned her away as well. A third day, and a third knock. This time a leper, asking for help. The woman closed her door once again. On the fourth day, Jesus came and scolded the woman. "I came to you as a beggar man, as a young child and as a leper, and you did not let me in."
The moral of the story is we need to recognize opportunities that are given to us. The old woman was so focused on Jesus coming, that she didn't see the first three visitors as important. I have a bad habit of being so focused on how I want things to be that I overlook the opportunities to enjoy myself and people around me regardless of the situation. I wasn't going to write about this, but I decided that I need to accept that life is not always rainbows and butterflies and pure happiness. I recognized (albeit too late) the fact that I did not accept the situation as it was, and stressed out myself - and my friend - by being upset that things were not exactly as I wanted them to be. I hope that I can learn from this and be more aware of opportunities to accept and appreciate things as they are.
I'm labeling this post Part 1, because it's early in the day and I hope to have a better AHA moment by the time I go to bed tonight. Keep your eyes open every minute for those Moments of AHA. You never know when you'll find something good.
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