We reached out to Mu Beta Psi National Honorary Musical Fraternity, whose main focus is to share and help promote music within the respective universities and communities. It was honorary, which meant that academics were measured in the eligibility of brotherhood; it was national, which meant it had a history and strong support system; it was co-ed, which meant both men and women could join; and although a music major was not a requirement of brotherhood, each member had to be actively involved in the music department, which was the target audience we were looking for. Papers were signed, rules were explained, the ball started rolling, and before we knew it, in January 1994, there was a class of 26 people who were the Mu Beta Psi Nu Chapter Founding Fathers.
I do not consider myself to be an activist of any kind. Given a choice, I generally prefer to be among the wallflowers rather than in the spotlight. However, that meeting in 1993 led to the biggest change of my life, and was catalyst for so many things yet to come. I was one of the 5 at the kitchen table. I helped make the whole thing happen.
For two solid years, Mu Beta Psi was pretty much my life. I was Service Coordinator the first semester that we were pledges, then Vice President for the 4 semesters following. By nature, I am (or at least I used to be) a fairly shy person, not looking for ways to interject myself into a new group of people. I was thrown into a leadership position, and had no idea the impact that it would have on me, or for that matter the impact that I would eventually have on others. At first, I grumbled (ok, bitched is more accurate) about having to wear a pledge pin, carry a pledge book and follow the rules to a T. Despite my quiet little hissy fits, I somehow knew I needed to stay a part of the group, so I did what was asked of me. Some of the professors within the department didn't believe in us. Quite a few, I think, actually. We had to work very hard to prove our worthiness, and even then, they were skeptical. Having females as President and Vice President for the first two years didn't really settle too well with the chairman of the department at that time. He much preferred to relay messages to us via the male members, whom he favored. The other Greek organizations didn't accept us as equal. We were considered the "music geeks" and that was not a good thing to most other people. We wanted to bring the members of the music department closer together, but we had to battle a lot of opposition to do so.
In May 1996, the majority of the founding class was to graduate. A few of the Founders had already graduated and moved on, making a large, albeit brief impact on the newly formed fraternity. Being only 5 pledge classes old, leaving one sole Founding Father as the senior member of the group, and still facing many acceptance obstacles, the founding class was convinced that Nu chapter would wither up and die within the next few years. This was not a wish we had, but somehow the odds looked ominously against us.
After my graduation that spring, I moved away, leaving behind my well-known college town, my beloved fraternity friends and my family, pursuing other life adventures out of state. I returned to NY in 1998, and ended up back in Oswego a year or two later, when my then-husband decided to take classes again at our alma mater. My hiatus from the fraternity ended the semester that he pledged. I jumped back in, and was as active as ever, despite the fact that we now had a newborn baby. My husband, my son, and I were all integral members for the next few years, with both of us serving as Assistant Pledge Master and Pledge Master at different times. New friends were born, new memories made. I was happy that after 6 years, our prediction of failure had been wrong. Our seedling had grown, and was starting to become more accepted by others.
Life continued to move forward, and I had other more "adult" things to focus on, such as work and my family. Over the years, my involvement with the group waned, and diminished down to nothing. I kept in touch with some members, and occasionally heard through the grapevine what class they were on, or how many pledges they'd had that semester, but the fraternity as a whole faded off into the distance for me.
Fast forward to May 2016. My connection to Mu Beta Psi remains in the friendships that I made between 1994 and 2002. My knowledge of the current status or state of the fraternity is next to nil. A very dear friend who is still involved with the music department convinced me to attend the end of year formal banquet. He has kept tabs on the newer classes and has met a number of recent brothers. The fraternity went through a tumultuous period a few years ago, and the fear of failure came back to life. However my friend assures me that these are "a good bunch of kids" and that they have been working tirelessly to bring back the reputation that the Founders so badly fought for. So I agree to attend the banquet.
As soon as I entered the room, people knew who I was. My friend introduced me to numerous brothers, saying, "This is MY big, she's a founder." The response was, "Oh my god, I know! So happy to meet you!" I got the fan-girl treatment and felt briefly like a celebrity. I liked everyone I met and felt very comfortable with these much younger strangers. In speaking with a few of them, I could feel the passion, the dedication they had for this group. They were all very energetic, very happy to be with one another, and enthusiastic in talking about what they'd done or hope to do for the fraternity.
Then it dawned on me. They just initiated the Alpha Upsilon class. Each pledge class is assigned a Greek letter, and AU means that our chapter has gone through the entire Greek alphabet once, and almost all the way through a second time. Nu Chapter has been alive for 22 years, and has initiated 44 pledge classes. FORTY-FOUR! That was unfathomable in 1996. Completely blown away by this newfound knowledge, I addressed the Brotherhood. I wish I could tell you what I said, but the adrenaline seering through my body was doing the talking. I think I told them that I am proud of the current Brothers for the energy and enthusiasm that they've shown, and the work that they've put into the group to make it not only survive, but thrive again. Some of the best and most dear friends I've ever made were born of this fraternity, and if each Brother can find the same kind of relationships that I've found, then the purpose of this fraternity has been fulfilled.
To my Brothers from 1994-1996: 44 classes! We started that. It's because of our actions that this fraternity is changing people's lives, as it did ours. To the current Brotherhood: Keep the great energy flowing! Stay positive and strong. Know there are always Brothers around you willing to lend a hand in any way they can. To all Nu Chapter Brothers and Alumni: Thank you. Thank you for following what you believed in, even during the times that it may have seemed impossible. We have all been an extremely important piece in this chapter's history, and I am forever grateful to each of you.
In Brotherhood and with Love,
Kate "Cat" DeForest
Founding Father, SP'96
Glad I could help along the way.
ReplyDeleteGlad to have you be a part of it, Culkin!
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