Tying It All Together

For a very long time, I was relentless about posting on this blog.  I would find something to write about every day or very close to every day.  I will be the first to admit that I have been, let's say, lax in the more recent months.

I have come to realize that at the beginning, this blog was not just a way to vent or share my story... it was a means of discovery, of learning, of creating.  Now, don't read into this as meaning that I don't want to learn, discover or create anything else new about myself.  That is far from the truth.  I do not need to rely on this blog as much as I once did, and I have stopped looking so hard for reasons to write.  But that doesn't mean those reasons aren't there.

Many of the resources I used to help move me forward, I still follow.  Quotes are still very important to me, and I enjoy pulling deeper meaning out of seemingly unrelated scenarios.  There are many bits of information floating around inside my head, and many of those are mentally bookmarked as being extremely useful and pertinent.  Big life lessons.  Things I need to pay attention to and remember daily.

Everyone has these life lessons that strike them.  Some are the big, blaring siren type and others are much more discreet, but they are still there.  So, instead of trying to cram an hour of blog writing into each already-too-short day, I'm going to give myself a little leeway.  Stockpile these ideas and memorable moments for a week or so, then put them all together.  It's kind of like a "6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game for life lessons.  Many things that happen to us can be grouped together - they either lead us to something, away from something, prove what we already know, or show us how to improve ourselves.  You can create as many categories as you'd like for yourself.  Adapt as necessary, this is not a one-size-fits-all kind of formula.

Embody who you want to be.  We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can certainly control how we handle it. Yes, life has it's downfalls and disappointments.  That still doesn't mean we have to bow down and submit to each one.  We can choose to find happiness, choose to make ourselves the type of person we want to be.  Think about who you admire: Superheroes (fake or real), relatives, mentors, teachers, gods/goddesses, etc.  Why do we admire them?   What traits do they possess that we do not?  What qualities allow them to deserve our attention?  Dissect each one, and learn how to adapt that trait or quality to fit into your own life.

Live fearless.  This is different from living without fear.  We all have fear... big or little, real or imagined, fear is a part of life and no one escapes that.  Instead of allowing our fears to swallow us whole and spit us out again, leaving us helpless and hopeless, we can learn to embrace that fear and turn it into something positive.  We don't always realize it, but we do have the capability to stop fear from stopping us.  We have to recognize that we have that power, then allow ourselves to actually use it.  Here's the blog that inspired this particular little lesson:  Living Fearless and Free.  It's not very long, and quite poignant.  Go ahead and read it, I'll wait...

Love the moment.  I've heard it lots, and I'm sure you have too... Live in the now, Be in the present, Enjoy the moment.  I want to take that just a little further and say love this moment you're in.  You have never before been in this exact moment, with this exact knowledge, this exact timing, and this exact environment.  And never again will you be.  So, no matter what is happening, always do your best to look past the crap, to look beyond the smoke and mirrors, to see through the negative and find a reason to love where you are, right now.  Every time we find a reason to love the moment, we give ourselves more reasons to love more moments.  And thus begins a snowball effect to keep on loving.

So, where's Kevin Bacon?  How does this all tie together?  Easy... We can take control of our lives.  We choose the qualities and traits that we want to exude.  We choose to wrap up fear in a blanket of hope.  We choose to love where we are in life.  We choose the outlook we have on life.  If we want to live a great life, we can.  If we continuously think that our life sucks, well... so it is.  This doesn't mean we can sit on our behinds and wish ourselves into millionaire status or perpetual happiness.  There is definitely work involved.  Overcoming negative forces in our lives can be very demanding and difficult.  But it can be done. Thinking and wishing alone are not enough to get us to where we want to be.  But it's a great motivator, an excellent start, and way better than living the alternative.

Commitment to Happiness

So many times I have heard others say (and I have said myself) "There needs to be more time in a day."  There are so many things that demand our attention... work, dishes, laundry, kids, pets, school.  I have found that it is way too easy for me to put everyone and everything else ahead of myself.  I easily get burned out, stressed out, tired out and grumpy.

I've decided that since I don't that aforementioned scenario, I am going to change it.  I don't have to get grumpy and I don't always have to put myself last.  I have come to love my crockpot (another blog entry, I'm sure) because it reduces the stress of making dinner from scratch after I get home from work.  I have learned to take a few minutes before and after work to do simple chores.  I put on my iPod and dance around while making dinner or folding laundry.  My family laughs at me, but I keep doing it!  I have learned what chores my kids can tolerate and I exploit that knowledge to the best of my ability.  I do what I need to do as quickly and efficiently as possible, then I take a few minutes each and every day to do something that I want to do, and sometimes to just do nothing.

I have made a commitment to myself to be as happy as possible.  There are situations that sometimes cannot be avoided which stress me out, but I do my best to smile and keep focused on the positive.  I have come to understand that being positive and staying focused on the good things has a profound effect on many other aspects of my life.  Therefore, I do my best to cancel out the negative thoughts.  "Squash negative thoughts like a bug" - I read that in a blog a while ago, and I repeat this to myself often.   Keep the commitment alive by finding one little thing you love to do, and do it every day.

Enjoy the Journey

The path of extraordinary accomplishments in any field of endeavour usually goes something like this:
Dream it.
Do it.
Fail repeatedly.
Learn everytime.
Start again.
Enjoy the journey.
Keep at it. 
Achieve the unthinkable.

~ Nithya Shanti 

It has been almost 3 months since my last blog post.  I no longer feel the "need" to explore / discover / find / create myself.  That doesn't mean that I don't feel the need to change or improve myself.  It simply means that I have been able to put to use the discoveries I have made over the past 2 years.  I still have a lot to learn, and I hope to always improve.

Part of what I have discovered is to enjoy the journey, where ever it may take me.  Life sometimes falls together, instead of falling apart.  At any given moment, we need to make the best of the situation at hand and smile.  I have felt myself falling into old habits, picking fights for no reason, getting upset over silly things... reverting to ways that I don't like.  And I have been able to stop myself, smile and breathe, and remedy a potential toxic situation.  That, I like.  That makes me smile even more.  We almost always have the ability to save ourselves from an unhealthy environment.  We just have to recognize it and do something about it.

I think that Nithya's quote above can be applied to just about any situation in our lives.  Relationships, jobs, business ventures, hobbies, learning sports or music... we have to start somewhere.  And in many cases, the dreaming is the starting point.  Once we dream about it long enough, we want to go out and do it.  Chances are that when we do it for the first time, we will fail.  But we learn and keep at it and adapt and learn some more, and eventually we do achieve the unthinkable.  

Just for clarification here, "the unthinkable" doesn't have to be monumental.  It can be cooking a new recipe, learning to play a sport, finding a fantastic relationship, traveling, writing a blog.  In my opinion, anything you try and do in any measure of success can be considered "the unthinkable."  Did I ever imagine that I would have a blog, be able to parent 3 kids, run a business, love playing basketball and baseball, and keep a house running while working full time?  No.  Truthfully, all of these things have taken me by surprise.  And each, in their own small way, is a huge achievement.  Do I play basketball and baseball well?  Not by any means.  I continue to fail at them, and learn and do my best to improve.  But each time I play, I have fun.  Do I have a successful business?  It's not millionaire material, but it makes me happy and I don't have to put a lot of extra money into it, so yes, I would say it's successful.  Any accomplishment you have allowed yourself to achieve at one point was "the unthinkable."

I believe that at the heart of it all is the enjoyment.  Enjoy where you are, who you are with, what you have, your abilities, your accomplishments.  Enjoy even the moments that do not seem so spectacular, because eventually they will benefit your life in ways you could never imagine.  When the enjoyment is gone, it's time to rethink your plan.  We're all on this crazy, unavoidable journey together.  We might as well do our best to enjoy it!