My house has simple rules, which are (ironically, after years of telling myself "I'm never gonna do things the same as my mom and dad") very much like the rules that I had growing up. Turn off the lights (thank you, Dad). Pick up after yourself, I am not Cinderella. Use nice words. Say please and thank you. I politely demand that my children show me respect. I am polite and respectful to others, and I hope that others would treat me in the same manner.
Just as a quick disclaimer, this is kind of a rant, but it is not directed at anyone in my house or any of the "usual suspects" that people might assume. I am one step removed from the person and situation who brought this on, but it annoys me to no end, and I see no reason for acting in this way.
I was taught to have good manners and be polite to people, and I've worked HARD to teach that to my kids. If my kids tell me, "I want this" or "I need this," I simply respond with, "Excuse me?" And I continue to say "Excuse me?" until they get the hint and ask for whatever it is politely. Unless I hear "please" I do not give an answer for something that is desired. And when they receive something, I have been known to hold on to it while they have it in their hand, until they say "Thank you."
These simple manners are common sense to me. Demanding things gets you very little in life. Honey attracts more flies than vinegar, remember. It should not take a great deal of effort for any person to ask for something and use the words "please" and "thank you." However, these simple and logical concepts seems to escape some. For whatever reason, there are people who exist, who think that they can demand anything from just about anyone. And, for whatever reason, they sometimes get whatever they want just because they demanded it.
This really goes back to the Golden Rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. It also reflects the notion that positivity breeds positivity and gets you a lot further in life than a negative attitude. There is such a huge difference between "I need this, get it for me" or "You need to do this for me" and "Would you please get that for me" or "Could you do this for me, please?" It absolutely astounds me that people don't see that.
Granted, I don't say "please" and "thank you" every single time that I should. I do my best to use respect when I address people, no matter the context of the conversation. And, as I said in the beginning, I hope that others have enough common sense and manners to do the same to me. We can't control how others speak to or treat us, but we can control how we answer. Even if faced with rudeness, we can overcome the negativity with a polite and respectful response. This does not mean that we need to allow rude people to walk on us and get exactly what they want. It simply means we take our stand and make our requests with the utmost of respect (and maybe a slight jab of sarcasm).
I'll tuck my tail and back down off the soapbox, but I ask just one thing. Please, check your words carefully, especially in a conflict. Consider what you are saying, the effect that those words could have, and if there is perhaps a more polite and respectful way to make your point. It doesn't take too much effort, but that little bit of effort can greatly affect the outcome of a conversation, and it also says a lot about the person you are. Thank you.
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