There has been a lot happening around me lately. A lot of things happening in the news, with friends, and personally. One such thing that has been in the headlines recently is the suicide of a New Jersey college kid. I saw posted on Facebook links to two wonderful blogs that I feel everyone should read. Please take a moment to look at them: Vicky Bell's Blog and Single Dad Laughing.
My oldest is 9. Thankfully, we haven't had to deal with the bully issue, and naturally, I hope we never do. I was never bullied terribly growing up, but I can remember times when other kids picked on me and how badly it hurt my feelings. I can't begin to imagine the pain of that NJ student, or any other person who's been severely bullied.
Allow me to jump on a soapbox for just one moment- Talk to the kids around you. Let them know they matter. Let them know you love them, you care about them, you like them even just a little. Because sometimes even just a little is more than anyone else will say they care. I think one simple sentence, written in Vicky Bell's letter, gives a very strong moment of AHA: "Nothing ruins your life forever. NOTHING."
AHA comes from knowing something is meaningful in your life. It allows you to accept certain circumstances, makes you happy and/or gives you something to appreciate. Knowing that nothing can ruin your life forever is a pretty strong piece of information. Even when we feel like we're getting kicked when we're down, eventually people do forget. No matter what happens in our lives, we tend to forget it. Or we at least forget how bad we felt at that time, even if we can't forget the actual event. Kids need to understand this. And kids need to know that the strength of love outweighs the burden of being bullied.
The events happening to me personally have nothing at all to do with being bullied. However, my confidence has once again been thrown into question (in my own mind) and I often find myself wondering what I'm doing with my life and what kind of person I am. In that manner, I found this Tina Lifford quote particularly meaningful: "When you know yourself, you are empowered. When you accept yourself, you are invincible." Everyone needs to feel empowered and invincible once in a while, maybe more. Every day I have to remind myself that I am doing ok, I'm a beautiful person, and I am making good choices with my life. I think it's incredibly important that I pass these sentiments along to my 3 kids as well. They need to know each and every day that they are loved, they are good kids, they have a strong family, and nothing they do during the course of the day makes me love them any less.
I think if more kids could understand and know who they are, they would grow up to be more confident teens and stronger, more stable adults. More kids would have that feeling of empowerment. And, if more kids knew that they are accepted by others, and therefore can better accept themselves, they could grow up with a feeling of invincibility. Mix that empowerment and invincibility with some good ol' down-to-Earth humility and a few polite manners, and I think that makes a pretty good recipe for a well-rounded, decent attitude.
So (back on the temporary soapbox), I ask anyone reading this to share a moment of AHA with a child you know. Whether that child is "troubled" or not, EVERY kid needs to be told again and again how important they are. Let them know you Accept them as they are, you are Happy to know them and you Appreciate the impact they have on your life. YOU can be the source of empowerment and invincibility. YOU can provide endless moments of AHA by repeating "I love you" to someone every day, and truly meaning it. May love conquer the bullies.
:) :)
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