Feeling Sorry

People sometimes have a funny way of reacting to someone else's situation.  Which can be understandable- we want to be supportive, encouraging, loving, etc towards others but sometimes we just don't know what to say.  Our responses can then sometimes come across as awkward, borderline inappropriate or slightly insensitive.  I know I've done it.  When I am on the receiving end of such comments, assuming I know the person meant well, I tend to take most things with a grain of salt.  I don't take these comments too personally, and I understand that sometimes the right words are just hard to find.  Once in a while, however, these kind of comments can get to me. I appreciate people's outreach to me, and I understand that people care about me and how I feel.  But please, DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME!

I know most people don't generally say or do things to intentionally make me (or anyone, for that matter) feel bad.  As I said in the beginning, sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to get their concerns across.  Last year was a rough year, there's no denying that.  But because of the events that took place, I believe that I am a much stronger, more confident, more capable person that I was before.  That's not a reason to feel sorry for me. 

Whereas in years past I was more likely to stay inside and complain about the snow, I know now that it takes me about a half hour to shovel a light snowfall off the driveway, or about an hour to snowblow the drive and shovel both porches.  Whereas in years past, I would worry about being too cold and become cranky quickly, I can now appreciate my children's laughter while playing in the snow and allow myself to have fun while playing with them.  Whereas I used to get easily frustrated with my kids because I was missing my favorite TV show, now I'm a little more willing to take my time saying good night to them and putting them to bed.  Whereas I used to kick the kids out of the kitchen, I now invite (or sometimes force) them to help me do kitchen chores and make dinner.  I have learned - and am still learning - how to embrace circumstances, situations, or moments that were not in my original plan.  I've learned how to think outside the box, and am trying new approaches to get my kids to do what I want rather than just yelling at them.  I've been forced to change lightbulbs, clean up leaks, fix a hole in the wall, run the snowblower, recognize when the car needs to be serviced, and much, much more.  I've had to face my own animosity towards others and reason with myself as to whether or not those feelings are necessary.  I've been able to take a very hard look at myself, adjust what I felt needed adjusting and fully accept what I felt was already acceptable.  These are not reasons to feel sorry for me.

I am not angry.  This is not meant to sound belittling or demeaning.  I simply don't want people's pity.  There's no reason for it, there's no room for it.  I do truly appreciate all the help and kind words that I have received from others.  And if you're wondering if maybe it was you who said something that bothered me, please don't worry about it.  The things that don't need to stay with me have all been brushed away, and I only remember the loving words and the things that will help enrich my life.  Because those are all that really matter anyway.