Women Friends

Years ago, I was part of a women's chorale, called Concinnity. I also worked in a local framing shop with the director, who also happened to be owner of the shop. The group of 8-12 women would gather at the shop after hours once a week to rehearse. And, of course, women being women we would often spend almost as much time chatting and gossiping as we would singing. We got to know each other quite well, and helped each other through some tough times. For Christmas one year, the director gave each of us a framed photo with this poem underneath:


"To find peace and serenity, comfort and understanding amidst the storms and fires

To nurse and nurture each other and humanity

To be able to both lean on and support each other

To gather the strength to 'take on' whatever awaits us

To be able to expose our true selves and our vulnerabilities

To display and be proud of that which makes us women

To be able to rise, like the phoenix, from the ashes, to flourish, and give birth again.

This is what it means to have Women Friends."

- Gustav Klimt (1862-1918)




When I received this gift in 2001, I was 28, had been married 2 years and my only son was just 8 months old. My husband worked full time for a beer bottling company and attended college full time. I was able to stay home with my son for the most part, and worked part time at the framing shop a few days a week. We were scraping by, but life was pretty good. This picture hung on the wall in the hallway outside the master bedroom for a number of years. I appreciated the gift, I liked the painting and the poem, but I didn't think much more of it.


In 2006, we moved, and naturally all of our wall hangings and decorations got packed up in boxes, and moved to our new attic. It's now 2010, and there are still boxes in the attic that have not been unpacked. I happened to be up there for something else entirely, and as I was glancing around, I noticed this picture. I picked it up, dusted it off and decided I would find somewhere to hang it. I read the poem again and realized how much life has changed for me since I received this as a gift 9 years ago. I now have 3 kids. I work full time. My marriage has fallen apart. I've needed friends more this year than ever before. The poem no longer contained meaningless words. The picture was no longer just a decoration. My life has changed so drastically since 2001, and this painting and poem has a whole new meaning to me now.


At the beginning of the year, as I was confiding in a very dear (male) friend, he told me that when he had gone through really tough times years before, it was his female friends who pulled him out of the fire. He said, "All your friends will help you, but it's gonna be the women who do the most for you." As I looked at this painting and read the poem, I thought about my women friends.


As the events of 2010 unfolded, it was my tendency to turn to my male friends for support. And I've received much comfort and support from them. I love each and every one of them very much. Yet, when I confide in my female friends, I think I feel a bit more connected. For example, I recently met a girl who is about 20 years younger than me. She came over for dinner, and instead of watching a movie like we had planned, we talked. And talked, and talked. She was only here for a few hours, but we connected. We have a lot in common. We've experienced similar situations. She doesn't complain about typical college freshman type things. In fact, she doesn't complain much at all. She's decided, as I have, that we just have to make the best of the situations we're given. We discovered that we have a lot in common, we have a lot to talk about, but more importantly we can understand each other. I also recently reconnected with one of my very best college girlfriends. We spent a few hours together comparing kid stories, talking about family life and reliving college memories. It was wonderful to have a connection with her again.


There have been plenty of women in my life who have helped me deal with whatever is thrown at me. And I have appreciated every one of them. I am so incredibly blessed to have the women friends I do. Whether I have known them for 3 days or 30 years they each, in their own way, provide me with moments of Acceptance, Happiness and Appreciation. They each, in their own way, allow me to share in their moments of AHA. And they each, in their own way, love me and are loved very much by me.

To my women friends: Thank you. You are my strength, my light, my Butterfly Angels and my love.