A Lesson from CSI

CSI has been one of my favorite shows since it began in 2000. For years, I have watched it religiously, getting quite upset if I had to miss an episode. This year I haven't watched it much. I've spent many nights focusing on other things and haven't really turned the TV on much at all. Tonight, I decided to watch it again.

In case you don't watch it, let me quickly introduce a few of the main characters: Crime Scene Investigators Ray Langston, Nick Stokes, Catherine Willows and coroner Dr. Al Robbins. Bad guy Nate Haskell is a serial killer who is behind bars but still wreaking havoc.

Of course, like any TV show, everything is overdramatized, and once in a while I get sucked in to the plot and the characters. I've cried on more than one occasion when someone has died or come close to it, or when a character has left the show. Tonight's episode was apparently a pick up of last season's finale. I caught a few of the "previously on CSI..." clips, one of which showed Nick Stokes in some building with another officer. Stokes tells the officer to check something out, and the officer ends up getting shot. Also, Ray Langston has gone to the jail to speak with Nate Haskell. Before their meeting is over, Langston turns his back on Haskell and is stabbed. Last season's finale (I concluded) ended with Langston lying on the floor outside Haskell's jail cell in a pool of blood.

I was attempting to put more water in the fish tank and I stood in the middle of the living room, full pitcher of water in hand at chest level, staring at the TV with my mouth gaping open at the clips of Langston getting stabbed. I yelled at the TV. "Langston! NO!!! LANGSTON!" (I never yell at the TV.) Tonight's episode opened with a funeral, and a photograph of a young African-American soldier. Assuming it was Langston, I cried. I almost dropped the pitcher of water I was holding. I yelled at the TV some more. The officer who had been with Stokes and shot was also African-American and it turned out to be his funeral, not Ray Langston's. I still cried, but was a bit relieved. Langston lived, and was recovering in a hospital bed, but he had lost a kidney.

Fast forward to the end of the show. Dr. Robbins (who lost both legs in a car accident, in real life and on the show) came to visit Langston and brought him a finely sculpted cane. Then, Doc talks about how when he lost his legs some of his dreams had to change. "I can never dance like Fred Astaire and my jump shot lost a little," he tells Langston. Langston retorts with a comment about never being a kidney donor, and is visibly upset. Doc then says, "But I dance with my wife, and shoot hoops once a week. No matter how much we think we can control in life, there will always be this much we don't have control over. When you can accept that, you can move on." They embrace and both cry.

That line really caught my attention. I don't like being not in control of things. I have been very much not in control of many things this year. But I have learned that in order to move on from being depressed, sad, or regretful about the situations I find myself in, I have to accept that I cannot control everything in life. I have to take ownership of the things I can control and make the most of my own actions in order to improve my circumstances. Moving on is one of the most important tasks in life, because that's how we learn and grow and become better people. So thanks, Doc Robbins, for reminding me of an important lesson of life and for the AHA.