I Discover George Bailey

For the past few years, I've watched "It's a Wonderful Life" while wrapping Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. This year, I introduced my 9-year-old to it. We didn't wrap presents, but sat on the couch together, and every so often I'd pause the movie to make sure he was caught up on the story line and was keeping the characters straight. It took us close to 3 hours to get through it, but it was worth it! He didn't fall asleep, he actually paid attention and kept up (for the most part) with what was going on, and at the end he said, "I really liked that movie."

Just in case you've never seen it, you should. Here's a brief synopsis: George Bailey dreams of leaving behind his little hometown and taking over the world. But life keeps getting in his way, and he ends up giving up many of his dreams to run the family business. A significant amount of money is misplaced, and it looks as though George will be forced into bankruptcy. He becomes very depressed and wishes he had never been born. Clarence the Angel is assigned to George in order to receive his wings. He grants George his wish, and takes him all over town to prove how different things would be with no George Bailey. George realizes how much he has to be grateful for and changes his whole attitude toward life. In the meantime, George's wife has called and telegramed a lot of people to let them know that George is in trouble. Money comes pouring in from people all over town, as well as some old school friends who have moved away. George comes home to a house full of people wishing him good cheer and offering to help him. And, yes, Clarence gets his wings.

Every year I watch this movie, and every year, I cry. And every year, I wonder how things would be different if I were never born (not in a morbid way, just out of curiosity) . And every year, I wonder what kind of an outpouring of support and love I would get if I really needed it. I don't wonder this any more. 2010 was the year in which I found out what a wonderful life I really have.

I'm not sure that I lead my life in the same manner as George Bailey, but first and foremost, if I was never around, neither would be my kids. That right there would alter a whole ton of people's lives. My then-boyfriend moved to Florida with me, and met a number of people who he's recently reconnected with on Facebook. Friendships that never would have been, if I hadn't been in the picture. My sister would either be an only child, or perhaps the oldest (rather than the youngest), which would change a number of things in her life. I'm not sure that I can prove it, but I like to think that I have somehow brightened the lives of the people I went to school with, both high school and college. I can name at least a few people who's lives I've impacted in a very large way. All these people would have slightly different lives than they do now, if they had never interacted with me.

I was told that friends would come out of the woodwork when I needed them, and indeed, they did. I received emails and phone calls this past year from close friends I hadn't talked with in a while, from people I consider friends but whom I don't know very well, and from people who barely knew me or didn't know me at all. Yesterday, when I picked up my kids from day care, I found in their mailbox a small manilla envelope, containing a paperback book. It was from a day care dad, a man I know in passing, and see either at day care, or ocassionally around the college campus where we both work. A very nice man, and we've held a few short conversations, but I know barely anything about him. He wrote an inscription inside the cover of the book that essentially said he felt like he had gotten to know me quite well through this blog, and that he has been inspired by how I have moved through my challenges. He also said that this particular book, by Thich Nhat Hanh, helped him through a somewhat challenging time in his life, and he now wanted to share it with me. I can barely put into words how touched I am by this simple act of kindness.

I will probably continue to curiously wonder from time to time how the world would be functioning differently if I never had existed. But I never again will wonder if I am as loved as George Bailey. At the very end of the movie, as the townspeople are randomly dropping dollar bills into a basket in the Bailey living room, George's brother Harry arrives. Outwardly, Harry seems to be more successful than George. George put his travel dreams on hold when their dad died, and took over the family business, giving his college savings to Harry. Harry goes to college, then to war and becomes a hero by shooting down enemy planes before they can strike. Lots of American lives were saved because of Harry's actions. Harry got to see the world. George stayed behind. He gave up lots of what he wanted to do in life and watched as others around him went off and became "successful." But in the midst of a crowded living room, as the accountant is calculating how many donations have come in, Harry raises a glass to his big brother. "To George Bailey. The richest man in town!"

That's when I cry. It's taken me almost an entire year to realize that I am George Bailey, standing in the living room, watching people come from far and wide to help however they can. I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for everyone who has been in my life. I am surrounded every day by riches, and I couldn't be happier.