Closing the Chapter

Well, it's been a little while since I've written again, which means that I'm a little busy and I have a lot on my mind. Had dinner the other night with some very good friends, followed by a much needed heart to heart, thus allowing me to sort of hit the reset button in myself.

I've been getting wrapped up in my own personal drama that I swore I didn't want to get wrapped up in.  After speaking with my friend, and bitching a little and crying, I came to realize something that I think I have known for a long time.

Dear Kate:
You will not be able to move on to the next chapter of your life if you don't finish this one first.  Close the damn chapter!
Love,
Your Heart and Mind

I am not always right (even though every now and then I like to think so). I am not perfect. I do not always make the best decisions, especially when I'm angry.  I can't always do a good job of controlling my emotions. And I don't always agree with the choices of others.  However, it does me no good to sit around and bemoan these points.  The drama I'm wrapping myself in is making me angry, bitter, sad, upset... and negative.  I don't want to be any of those things.  No matter how happy I think I am, I can still allow myself to be sucked into the drama and I have to start building my happiness all over again.  I mentally will never be able to move on if I can't just let go.  I thought a number of months ago that I had let go.  I told myeslf I was done with the stupid drama and that I was ok.  Baby steps.  I have to recognize that I need to take baby steps.  I can say it again- I want to be done with stupid drama.  But I'll get sucked in again sooner or later by something or other.  I have to be able to lessen the effect that drama has on me.  Little by little, the effect will become less and less and eventually I'll be able to truly say, "I'm done.  I let go."

Yet another simple, but incredibly difficult lesson in life.  And one that I am determined to make good use of.  Eventually.