Every day we create, nurture and grow relationships. This is not new information. Have you ever really stopped to ponder how each relationship fits into the spectrum of your life? What benefit the other person brings you, and what benefit you bring them? This question was posed to me recently, in not quite so many words, and I've been considering very carefully the concept of being good to someone versus being good for someone.
Every day we are faced with an infinite amount of choices, from what to eat to what to wear to how to treat someone, and on and on. I read a status update on Facebook from a friend of mine who is a spiritual teacher, which said, "If you want to have a blessed day, keep blessing everything." It's our choice how to treat others. And, according to some laws of Karma and other spiritual teachings, what comes around goes around. If we bless (in whatever capacity we are comfortable) others around us, those blessings will come back to us. If we decide to be good to others, others will be good to us. Is it possible to make ourselves good for someone else, and if so, does that mean the other person will be good for us, too?
Every day we are faced with an infinite amount of choices, from what to eat to what to wear to how to treat someone, and on and on. I read a status update on Facebook from a friend of mine who is a spiritual teacher, which said, "If you want to have a blessed day, keep blessing everything." It's our choice how to treat others. And, according to some laws of Karma and other spiritual teachings, what comes around goes around. If we bless (in whatever capacity we are comfortable) others around us, those blessings will come back to us. If we decide to be good to others, others will be good to us. Is it possible to make ourselves good for someone else, and if so, does that mean the other person will be good for us, too?
There is a difference between To and For. And it is true, that although someone may do their very best to be good to another person, they may in fact not be very good for them. A friend put it to me this way,
I like to think that I treat everyone well. I hope that my positive way of thinking is good for those around me. I know that there are certain people, both on Facebook and in real life, whom I can depend on when I need a burst of positive energy. I hope to be that for others, as well. I may not be the smartest person ever, but I have my areas of knowledge and passion that I can speak of fluently and teach others about. I may never win any beauty pageants or popularity contests, but I know myself well enough to say that I am a beautiful individual, both inside and out. I am not perfect, but no one is, which is why we are all so charming in our own different ways.
I can cook for people, throw a pretty killer party, let someone cry on my shoulder, be entertaining, deliver something when someone is sick, cover other people's jobs at work, sing to my kids, help my kids explore, support a friend, cheer for a friend, mourn with someone, listen... all these are a few examples of being good to someone else.
I am good for others because I can teach a new skill to someone, provide for my kids and friends who need it, laugh, smile no matter what, hold others in a high regard, show others respect, boost someone's confidence and self-esteem, be a positive influence, be a good role model, be a good mom and teacher, offer genuine affection, and do all this and more without ever asking for anything in return... except that my friends follow this mantra: Always do your best to be the best TO and FOR others, no matter what the situation.
Take a few minutes to analyze some of your heartiest of friendships. How are you good to and for one another? Now, analyze a new friendship. Is the answer to the previous question the same? As has been said before, don't change the core of who you are specifically for someone else, but now ask yourself if you are perfectly happy with the answer to those couple of questions.
We also have the potential to be good to and for ourselves... and that's the most important question of all. Because, as has been said before, if we can't be happy with ourselves, we'll never be happy with someone else. Just goes to show you that everything is perfect, yet is constantly improving. Be good to yourself and others. And be good for yourself and others, too. The Karma is worth the effort, I promise.
"I'm good TO you when I help with your projects. I'm good FOR you when I help make you feel stronger. I'm BAD FOR you because it's hard to be on a diet when I'm around. Add up all the influences someone has on you, decide what's important to you and for you and how that person contributes to that."I think that the majority of my friends are both good to and for me. In fact, I can't think of anyone in particular who I would consider to be bad for me. At least not out of those whom I consider close friends. Which, I suppose if you think about it, would explain why those people are my close friends in the first place. Now, where do I think I fall in that spectrum for others?
I like to think that I treat everyone well. I hope that my positive way of thinking is good for those around me. I know that there are certain people, both on Facebook and in real life, whom I can depend on when I need a burst of positive energy. I hope to be that for others, as well. I may not be the smartest person ever, but I have my areas of knowledge and passion that I can speak of fluently and teach others about. I may never win any beauty pageants or popularity contests, but I know myself well enough to say that I am a beautiful individual, both inside and out. I am not perfect, but no one is, which is why we are all so charming in our own different ways.
I can cook for people, throw a pretty killer party, let someone cry on my shoulder, be entertaining, deliver something when someone is sick, cover other people's jobs at work, sing to my kids, help my kids explore, support a friend, cheer for a friend, mourn with someone, listen... all these are a few examples of being good to someone else.
I am good for others because I can teach a new skill to someone, provide for my kids and friends who need it, laugh, smile no matter what, hold others in a high regard, show others respect, boost someone's confidence and self-esteem, be a positive influence, be a good role model, be a good mom and teacher, offer genuine affection, and do all this and more without ever asking for anything in return... except that my friends follow this mantra: Always do your best to be the best TO and FOR others, no matter what the situation.
Take a few minutes to analyze some of your heartiest of friendships. How are you good to and for one another? Now, analyze a new friendship. Is the answer to the previous question the same? As has been said before, don't change the core of who you are specifically for someone else, but now ask yourself if you are perfectly happy with the answer to those couple of questions.
We also have the potential to be good to and for ourselves... and that's the most important question of all. Because, as has been said before, if we can't be happy with ourselves, we'll never be happy with someone else. Just goes to show you that everything is perfect, yet is constantly improving. Be good to yourself and others. And be good for yourself and others, too. The Karma is worth the effort, I promise.
:) :) :)
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