I've been considering for a few hours now what my AHA moment of the day has been. It's been a fairly quiet day, and there were no huge burst of lightning "HERE'S THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR" kind of moments. However, I did do a Creative Memories get together, which I haven't done in .... quite a while. It was nice to get out of the house and concentrate on something that I truly enjoy doing (as opposed to laundry and dishes, which I only sort of enjoy doing). I got to talk about all the great reasons as to why I love CM (and don't worry, that's not the point to this post), meet some new people, and hang out with a few really cool ladies.
Talking about the various ways to scrapbook and the various products one can use is always a favorite subject for me. Scrapbooking has been my therapeutic outlet for a number of years. Partly because I can provide proof of the fun and cool things my family has done over the years, and I get to "watch" my kids grow up again, but this time in slow motion. I can savor how my 9-year-old looked when he was 4, how my 4-year-old looked when she was 2, or how my 2-year-old looked when he was born. And all 3 kids love flipping through the pages of my scrapbooks to look at themselves, or laugh at each other. The scrapbooks provide yet another means for me to feel appreciated. And, scrapbooking just plain makes me happy!
The get together this afternoon was small, and I left without any orders. But I was happy all the same, because I got to talk about my passion and share why I'm passionate about it. I met new people, which is always a bonus in my book, and I got to network a little. I'm extremely appreciative to my friend who hosted it, and I'm happy that I got to feel appreciated by helping the guests understand CM a little more.
When I got home, I pulled out some of my papers and tools, and sat at the table with my daughter to make Father's Day cards for my husband. We spent about an hour or so cutting and taping paper together. It was a short "therapy" session, but it felt good to do just a little. What is your passion? Finding your passion, and working even just a little bit on it can be a huge AHA moment. A moment that might make the not-so-good stuff in your life a little easier to accept, because you are doing something that truly makes you happy.
:) Cheers
The Art of Appreciation
Today I had a work event. Greeting and mingling with listeners. Not really something I usually look forward to, mostly just because I get uncomfortable trying to initiate conversations with people I don't know. But, inevitably, I can fake courage long enough to have a few conversations and smile a lot and when it's all over I say, "That was fun." Today, as I was smiling and talking with people, I began to think about this AHA project I started for myself. I realized that being appreciated is a cool feeling. Even though I don't always look forward to this type of event, and I feel that I have nothing to say to these people I don't really know, I realized that they feel like they know me because they listen to my station. And I have something in common with them because they hear a lot of the same information that I do. And I bring them a service that they truly appreciate. When people see my nametag, they smile and say, "Oh, you're Kate Percival. I listen to you all the time! I love this station!" I am appreciated. By people I don't know. That's a pretty cool feeling.
Tonight, when I came home, I had a long talk with a very, very dear friend. Some of the discussion was happy and made me laugh and some was a bit sad. I lost count of how many times I said to him and he said to me, "Thank you." We need each other and we appreciate the other's support and love. It's a basic human need to be appreciated, wanted, needed, loved. When we show others how much we appreciate them, we almost always are shown the same feeling in return. It's like that old saying that goes something like, "If you want a friend, be a friend." If you want to feel appreciated, wanted, needed and loved, you have to appreciate, want, need and love someone else first.
I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings, and to really be honest with myself. And I appreciate any readers that I might have. I hope that I can give others something to think about, or offer another perspective in which to consider the world. The other night, I fell asleep before I could post an entry and I had two friends on Facebook ask where it was. That made me feel appreciated, and although I felt bad for messing up, I liked that they missed it! Thanks, Patti and Jen. I'd love for people to comment, if for nothing else to just say that they read this. That would make me feel appreciated enough. Thanks, all!
Tonight, when I came home, I had a long talk with a very, very dear friend. Some of the discussion was happy and made me laugh and some was a bit sad. I lost count of how many times I said to him and he said to me, "Thank you." We need each other and we appreciate the other's support and love. It's a basic human need to be appreciated, wanted, needed, loved. When we show others how much we appreciate them, we almost always are shown the same feeling in return. It's like that old saying that goes something like, "If you want a friend, be a friend." If you want to feel appreciated, wanted, needed and loved, you have to appreciate, want, need and love someone else first.
I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts and feelings, and to really be honest with myself. And I appreciate any readers that I might have. I hope that I can give others something to think about, or offer another perspective in which to consider the world. The other night, I fell asleep before I could post an entry and I had two friends on Facebook ask where it was. That made me feel appreciated, and although I felt bad for messing up, I liked that they missed it! Thanks, Patti and Jen. I'd love for people to comment, if for nothing else to just say that they read this. That would make me feel appreciated enough. Thanks, all!
Learning to Accept
I have a habit of allowing one bad event, feeling, or act to take over an entire day or ruin an otherwise perfectly good mood. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and although it seems like common sense to not let one incident take precedence over all others in a day, it's always been easy for me to dwell on the negative and think, "I did this wrong," or "I should have done that differently," or "@%$#, I screwed that up!" I'm (very slowly) learning that that kind of thinking doesn't usually help resolve a bad situation. Rather, I need to ask myself, "How could I have done that differently" or "What could I have said that would have had less of a negative impact?"
Likewise, I can't always expect the outcome of a situation be what I want or think it should be. I have to accept that others see things differently than I do, therefore forming different opinions. I may not agree with that opinion, but the least I can do is respect the other person and their feelings. I'm not the kind of person who thinks I'm always right (I'm usually too busy second-guessing myself to think that), but there are occasions when I feel the need to push my point again and again, no matter what the other person says or what their perception of the situation may be. This is not going to make me any friends, or score me any bonus points.
Acceptance is a very difficult thing, I think. At least for me. I am very appreciative of lots of things, and I try to be a very happy person, but accepting the things that I don't like is ... well, let's just say it's never been my specialty. I'm also a creature of habit. That doesn't really lend itself to easily accepting things that are unexpected or "out of the norm." More often than not, I find myself reacting badly to a situation or circumstances I don't like, then having to go back and apologize for my behavior. Apologies are all fine and good, and I certainly do encourage them, however - like I tell my kids - if you apologize for something you should try to not do it again. You screw up, you apologize, take mental notes, learn and when that situation presents itself again, you can say, "I've been here and the previous ending wasn't so good. So now I know what NOT to do." And then you do something different than what you did before.
I like to think of myself as a fairly quick, hands-on kind of learner. However, it's taken me a long time to learn to accept things as they are, and in fact I'm still learning. I've become better at recognizing the things I need to accept. Now I just have to be better at accepting them the first time around, instead of reacting badly then apologizing for it. I hope this journey will help me with that quest. I believe it already has.
Likewise, I can't always expect the outcome of a situation be what I want or think it should be. I have to accept that others see things differently than I do, therefore forming different opinions. I may not agree with that opinion, but the least I can do is respect the other person and their feelings. I'm not the kind of person who thinks I'm always right (I'm usually too busy second-guessing myself to think that), but there are occasions when I feel the need to push my point again and again, no matter what the other person says or what their perception of the situation may be. This is not going to make me any friends, or score me any bonus points.
Acceptance is a very difficult thing, I think. At least for me. I am very appreciative of lots of things, and I try to be a very happy person, but accepting the things that I don't like is ... well, let's just say it's never been my specialty. I'm also a creature of habit. That doesn't really lend itself to easily accepting things that are unexpected or "out of the norm." More often than not, I find myself reacting badly to a situation or circumstances I don't like, then having to go back and apologize for my behavior. Apologies are all fine and good, and I certainly do encourage them, however - like I tell my kids - if you apologize for something you should try to not do it again. You screw up, you apologize, take mental notes, learn and when that situation presents itself again, you can say, "I've been here and the previous ending wasn't so good. So now I know what NOT to do." And then you do something different than what you did before.
I like to think of myself as a fairly quick, hands-on kind of learner. However, it's taken me a long time to learn to accept things as they are, and in fact I'm still learning. I've become better at recognizing the things I need to accept. Now I just have to be better at accepting them the first time around, instead of reacting badly then apologizing for it. I hope this journey will help me with that quest. I believe it already has.
The Mud-Covered Moment of AHA
I took the kids out to dinner yesterday, then to a playground. I'm learning how to have moments of AHA with my three wonderful kids, instead of being focused on becoming overwhelmed at the 3:1 ratio. I'm also still learning (after 30-something years) that life isn't always about getting somewhere but enjoying the trip there. The point of going out to dinner, with anyone, isn't necessarily eating. It's enjoying their company, having a chance to talk, and letting someone else do the work for you! I could have very easily picked up the kids, taken them home, cooked the steak I had thawed out and maybe taken a walk or let them play in the yard before whisking them off to bed. It was warm yesterday, and I didn't feel like cooking, so I decided to do something a little different. Yeah, it cost some money, but I think $35 is worth the time for hanging out with my kids.
It was still fairly early when we finished dinner, and I knew they wanted to burn off some energy at one of their favorite playgrounds. So I let them run. And after making sure the two older ones understood the rules of Stranger Danger and not leaving the playground area without me, I decided it wasn't worth worrying about the exact GPS location of each kid at every moment. This, of course, came back to bite me when the youngest (who is by far the biggest dare-devil of the bunch) decided to go down the biggest slide by himself. This, in and of itself, wouldn't have been such a big deal - he's done slides by himself before - except this particular slide had a large mud puddle waiting at the bottom. Most kids would know to stop themselves and jump over the puddle. However, when you're barely 2, these things have yet to be learned. And he learned the hard way. Double bonus - when he decided to do this daring act, I was pushing my daughter on the swing at the other side of the playground. Last I checked, Kid #3 was hanging out with Kid #1, so I was happily pushing away on Kid #2 in the swing. Next moment, the dreaded, familiar wail came wafting through the air. I went running, and rounded the corner to find my darling son standing in the middle of the puddle, literally covered head to toe in mud. He has some scratches on his forehead, but otherwise emerged unscathed. As my poor baby stood, dripping and dirty, on the park bench, I made a decision. I wasn't angry with him - he was simply recreating something he enjoyed doing and didn't realize what the consequence of that would be. I wasn't embarrassed - this did not make me a bad mom, he was just too quick for any of us to notice what the end result of his actions would be. I was not angry with Kid #1, who swore up and down that he was the worst big brother in the world - he wanted to play on his own terms, and I can't expect him to take on the role of the parent. I simply picked up. I used up most of the baby wipes I had to clean off the mud as best I could. I stripped him down and put his clothes in a plastic bag, to be washed later. We left the playground and went to my work, where the kids could go to the bathroom and I could wash off my son's head a little better. After about 10 minutes of some intense crying and extreme displeasure with his state of cleanliness, he was fine. I'm thankful that it was a minor incident and we didn't have to run across the street to the hospital!
Things are never going to go as planned when kids are involved. After 9 years, I've learned this but I somehow still am learning to adapt. I'm a pretty big creature of habit, and I don't always like disruptions or surprises. But with kids, there are no hard, set rules. I have to be able to accept the events that happen, no matter how much they throw off my schedule. I have to be happy with my kids for being themselves, and hope that they will pay enough attention to me that they will remember a few of the lessons I try to teach them. And I have to appreciate the fact that they want to make their own choices and are brave enough to do so, without me holding their hand every step of the way. Kids are endless opportunities for AHA, if you're willing to look for them!
It was still fairly early when we finished dinner, and I knew they wanted to burn off some energy at one of their favorite playgrounds. So I let them run. And after making sure the two older ones understood the rules of Stranger Danger and not leaving the playground area without me, I decided it wasn't worth worrying about the exact GPS location of each kid at every moment. This, of course, came back to bite me when the youngest (who is by far the biggest dare-devil of the bunch) decided to go down the biggest slide by himself. This, in and of itself, wouldn't have been such a big deal - he's done slides by himself before - except this particular slide had a large mud puddle waiting at the bottom. Most kids would know to stop themselves and jump over the puddle. However, when you're barely 2, these things have yet to be learned. And he learned the hard way. Double bonus - when he decided to do this daring act, I was pushing my daughter on the swing at the other side of the playground. Last I checked, Kid #3 was hanging out with Kid #1, so I was happily pushing away on Kid #2 in the swing. Next moment, the dreaded, familiar wail came wafting through the air. I went running, and rounded the corner to find my darling son standing in the middle of the puddle, literally covered head to toe in mud. He has some scratches on his forehead, but otherwise emerged unscathed. As my poor baby stood, dripping and dirty, on the park bench, I made a decision. I wasn't angry with him - he was simply recreating something he enjoyed doing and didn't realize what the consequence of that would be. I wasn't embarrassed - this did not make me a bad mom, he was just too quick for any of us to notice what the end result of his actions would be. I was not angry with Kid #1, who swore up and down that he was the worst big brother in the world - he wanted to play on his own terms, and I can't expect him to take on the role of the parent. I simply picked up. I used up most of the baby wipes I had to clean off the mud as best I could. I stripped him down and put his clothes in a plastic bag, to be washed later. We left the playground and went to my work, where the kids could go to the bathroom and I could wash off my son's head a little better. After about 10 minutes of some intense crying and extreme displeasure with his state of cleanliness, he was fine. I'm thankful that it was a minor incident and we didn't have to run across the street to the hospital!
Things are never going to go as planned when kids are involved. After 9 years, I've learned this but I somehow still am learning to adapt. I'm a pretty big creature of habit, and I don't always like disruptions or surprises. But with kids, there are no hard, set rules. I have to be able to accept the events that happen, no matter how much they throw off my schedule. I have to be happy with my kids for being themselves, and hope that they will pay enough attention to me that they will remember a few of the lessons I try to teach them. And I have to appreciate the fact that they want to make their own choices and are brave enough to do so, without me holding their hand every step of the way. Kids are endless opportunities for AHA, if you're willing to look for them!
Seeing Through the Tears
I have learned that it's easy to be accepting, happy and appreciative when you're already in a good mood. It's not so easy when things REALLY don't go the way you want them to and you're in a bad mood. That's what happened to me today. The one shining moment that I am extremely appreciative of came when I was talking to a very dear, very awesome friend. She reminded me that I am an awesome, amazing and beautiful person, no matter how others make me feel at times. Someone made me feel really horrible today, and it was hard for me to see the AHA through all the tears. But talking to a very good friend is always an AHA moment, no matter how down in the dumps you feel.
She also reminded me that 70 people are now participating in my Facebook Happiness Project. Wow! That was something I started to make myself feel good and remind myself of all the happy things/events/people in my life. Now 70 (+) people, many of which I don't know, have jumped on the bandwagon to share what it is that makes them happy. Here are just few things I can think of quickly (in no particular order):
She also reminded me that 70 people are now participating in my Facebook Happiness Project. Wow! That was something I started to make myself feel good and remind myself of all the happy things/events/people in my life. Now 70 (+) people, many of which I don't know, have jumped on the bandwagon to share what it is that makes them happy. Here are just few things I can think of quickly (in no particular order):
- Talking with a good friend
- Being reminded that you're awesome and amazing (and being reminded quite often)
- Having the kids help calm you down when you cry, and helping to take care of each other while you cry.
- Being reminded that you play a pivotal role in a number of other people's lives. That's super-cool *A-H-A* moment.
Birth of One Small Happiness Project (Part 2)
Well, today was a typical, boring day at work and I was afraid that I wouldn't have anything to be AHA about. But there's always something if you look hard enough!
I picked up my daughter and youngest son from daycare (very appreciative of the daycare facilities on the SUNY Oswego campus and the teachers who work there) and drove to JCPenney (happy that I have a car with air conditioning) to look for a dress for my daughter. We have a wedding we are in at the end of the month. Rather than complain about how much money I have to spend on a dress for me, a dress for my daughter, a wedding gift, travel, etc, etc... I accept the fact that this a celebration for my SISTER, of all people!! Of course I'm happy for her! She found a wonderful man, she adores his kids, his kids adore her and everyone is happy! So, although finances are a big issue with me, I refuse to bring down my sister's happy occasion by worrying about trite things like money!
I also had a second AHA moment this afternoon. I created a Facebook Happiness Project to document those people, events and things around me that make me happy. The concept of this project is simple - use photos, a blog, notes, a scrapbook...whatever means you are comfortable with to keep track of whatever it is that makes you happy from day to day. When I checked it earlier today, I had 2 friends who were "attending" - me and my friend, Ken. I checked it later this afternoon and there were 30 guests, most of whom were invited by Ken! AHA!! Thanks, Ken! I truly appreciate his participation in these adventures as well as his support and the positive vibes he sends to everyone he knows!
I invite everyone to join in my journey of AHA, as well as the Happiness Project! Make the adventure more special by being someone else's cheerleader, too!
I picked up my daughter and youngest son from daycare (very appreciative of the daycare facilities on the SUNY Oswego campus and the teachers who work there) and drove to JCPenney (happy that I have a car with air conditioning) to look for a dress for my daughter. We have a wedding we are in at the end of the month. Rather than complain about how much money I have to spend on a dress for me, a dress for my daughter, a wedding gift, travel, etc, etc... I accept the fact that this a celebration for my SISTER, of all people!! Of course I'm happy for her! She found a wonderful man, she adores his kids, his kids adore her and everyone is happy! So, although finances are a big issue with me, I refuse to bring down my sister's happy occasion by worrying about trite things like money!
I also had a second AHA moment this afternoon. I created a Facebook Happiness Project to document those people, events and things around me that make me happy. The concept of this project is simple - use photos, a blog, notes, a scrapbook...whatever means you are comfortable with to keep track of whatever it is that makes you happy from day to day. When I checked it earlier today, I had 2 friends who were "attending" - me and my friend, Ken. I checked it later this afternoon and there were 30 guests, most of whom were invited by Ken! AHA!! Thanks, Ken! I truly appreciate his participation in these adventures as well as his support and the positive vibes he sends to everyone he knows!
I invite everyone to join in my journey of AHA, as well as the Happiness Project! Make the adventure more special by being someone else's cheerleader, too!
AHA Fail and Recovery (part 1)
I had an argument with a friend yesterday. I had certain expectations of the day, and when things started to veer away from the presumed path, I got upset. Therefore, I basically started the argument. Instead of accepting how things were, I was preoccupied with how I wanted things to be, and I caused myself stress. A big FAIL in the AHA journey.
This reminds me of a church school story that I remember from long ago. An old woman was told that she would be visited by Jesus. She got very excited and worked very hard to clean her house and make everything perfect for His arrival. One day, there was a knock at the door, and an old beggar man stood before the woman asking for a bit of food. "I can't have you come in," said the woman, "my Savior is coming to visit with me and I can't have you here." She turned him away and continued to clean. The next day, there was another knock and a young child stood at the door, saying she was lost. The woman turned her away as well. A third day, and a third knock. This time a leper, asking for help. The woman closed her door once again. On the fourth day, Jesus came and scolded the woman. "I came to you as a beggar man, as a young child and as a leper, and you did not let me in."
The moral of the story is we need to recognize opportunities that are given to us. The old woman was so focused on Jesus coming, that she didn't see the first three visitors as important. I have a bad habit of being so focused on how I want things to be that I overlook the opportunities to enjoy myself and people around me regardless of the situation. I wasn't going to write about this, but I decided that I need to accept that life is not always rainbows and butterflies and pure happiness. I recognized (albeit too late) the fact that I did not accept the situation as it was, and stressed out myself - and my friend - by being upset that things were not exactly as I wanted them to be. I hope that I can learn from this and be more aware of opportunities to accept and appreciate things as they are.
I'm labeling this post Part 1, because it's early in the day and I hope to have a better AHA moment by the time I go to bed tonight. Keep your eyes open every minute for those Moments of AHA. You never know when you'll find something good.
This reminds me of a church school story that I remember from long ago. An old woman was told that she would be visited by Jesus. She got very excited and worked very hard to clean her house and make everything perfect for His arrival. One day, there was a knock at the door, and an old beggar man stood before the woman asking for a bit of food. "I can't have you come in," said the woman, "my Savior is coming to visit with me and I can't have you here." She turned him away and continued to clean. The next day, there was another knock and a young child stood at the door, saying she was lost. The woman turned her away as well. A third day, and a third knock. This time a leper, asking for help. The woman closed her door once again. On the fourth day, Jesus came and scolded the woman. "I came to you as a beggar man, as a young child and as a leper, and you did not let me in."
The moral of the story is we need to recognize opportunities that are given to us. The old woman was so focused on Jesus coming, that she didn't see the first three visitors as important. I have a bad habit of being so focused on how I want things to be that I overlook the opportunities to enjoy myself and people around me regardless of the situation. I wasn't going to write about this, but I decided that I need to accept that life is not always rainbows and butterflies and pure happiness. I recognized (albeit too late) the fact that I did not accept the situation as it was, and stressed out myself - and my friend - by being upset that things were not exactly as I wanted them to be. I hope that I can learn from this and be more aware of opportunities to accept and appreciate things as they are.
I'm labeling this post Part 1, because it's early in the day and I hope to have a better AHA moment by the time I go to bed tonight. Keep your eyes open every minute for those Moments of AHA. You never know when you'll find something good.
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