I took the kids out to dinner yesterday, then to a playground. I'm learning how to have moments of AHA with my three wonderful kids, instead of being focused on becoming overwhelmed at the 3:1 ratio. I'm also still learning (after 30-something years) that life isn't always about getting somewhere but enjoying the trip there. The point of going out to dinner, with anyone, isn't necessarily eating. It's enjoying their company, having a chance to talk, and letting someone else do the work for you! I could have very easily picked up the kids, taken them home, cooked the steak I had thawed out and maybe taken a walk or let them play in the yard before whisking them off to bed. It was warm yesterday, and I didn't feel like cooking, so I decided to do something a little different. Yeah, it cost some money, but I think $35 is worth the time for hanging out with my kids.
It was still fairly early when we finished dinner, and I knew they wanted to burn off some energy at one of their favorite playgrounds. So I let them run. And after making sure the two older ones understood the rules of Stranger Danger and not leaving the playground area without me, I decided it wasn't worth worrying about the exact GPS location of each kid at every moment. This, of course, came back to bite me when the youngest (who is by far the biggest dare-devil of the bunch) decided to go down the biggest slide by himself. This, in and of itself, wouldn't have been such a big deal - he's done slides by himself before - except this particular slide had a large mud puddle waiting at the bottom. Most kids would know to stop themselves and jump over the puddle. However, when you're barely 2, these things have yet to be learned. And he learned the hard way. Double bonus - when he decided to do this daring act, I was pushing my daughter on the swing at the other side of the playground. Last I checked, Kid #3 was hanging out with Kid #1, so I was happily pushing away on Kid #2 in the swing. Next moment, the dreaded, familiar wail came wafting through the air. I went running, and rounded the corner to find my darling son standing in the middle of the puddle, literally covered head to toe in mud. He has some scratches on his forehead, but otherwise emerged unscathed. As my poor baby stood, dripping and dirty, on the park bench, I made a decision. I wasn't angry with him - he was simply recreating something he enjoyed doing and didn't realize what the consequence of that would be. I wasn't embarrassed - this did not make me a bad mom, he was just too quick for any of us to notice what the end result of his actions would be. I was not angry with Kid #1, who swore up and down that he was the worst big brother in the world - he wanted to play on his own terms, and I can't expect him to take on the role of the parent. I simply picked up. I used up most of the baby wipes I had to clean off the mud as best I could. I stripped him down and put his clothes in a plastic bag, to be washed later. We left the playground and went to my work, where the kids could go to the bathroom and I could wash off my son's head a little better. After about 10 minutes of some intense crying and extreme displeasure with his state of cleanliness, he was fine. I'm thankful that it was a minor incident and we didn't have to run across the street to the hospital!
Things are never going to go as planned when kids are involved. After 9 years, I've learned this but I somehow still am learning to adapt. I'm a pretty big creature of habit, and I don't always like disruptions or surprises. But with kids, there are no hard, set rules. I have to be able to accept the events that happen, no matter how much they throw off my schedule. I have to be happy with my kids for being themselves, and hope that they will pay enough attention to me that they will remember a few of the lessons I try to teach them. And I have to appreciate the fact that they want to make their own choices and are brave enough to do so, without me holding their hand every step of the way. Kids are endless opportunities for AHA, if you're willing to look for them!
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