I took the kids to a local hot air balloon fest today. The ride (for lack of a better word) of choice for the day was the bounce house. All three kids went in multiple times and had a blast every single moment they were in there. They jumped, they ran, they bounced, they slid, they fell over, they fell on top of one another, and they laughed. They absolutely loved the bounce house.
As I stood there watching them (and taking pictures), I couldn't help but smile and think how incredibly awesome it is to just have a grand old time bouncing. In fact, every kid who went in there laughed and smiled and giggled and did not want to come out when they were told to. What is it about a bounce house that's so attractive to kids? I suppose the freedom to just jump (because, really, what kid doesn't like to jump?), maybe the randomness of where they land, the feeling of exhilaration as they "fly" through the air and down the slide. I have to admit it does look fun. I think in that house, the kids experience their own AHA. And I think from watching them, they showed me AHA too.
The hot air balloons were cool to look at, too. We all liked watching them blow up, then lift off the ground and fly high above our heads. It was a beautiful sight. The other attraction they liked was the reptile rescue tent. They had a number of different snakes, including a really big python, a variety of lizards, 4 tortoises, and a couple of small turtles. There were a number of different handlers who each had a reptile that the general public could look at and/or touch. "Speedy" the 16-year-old tortoise was out of his confine for quite a while and had a fairly large crowd following him around. And he was, in fact, fairly speedy. I had a hard time getting a good picture of him and the kids because somebody always kept moving. I was pretty amazed, and proud, that all three of them enjoyed touching various reptiles with very little fear. Even the youngest walked right up and made friends with the python. It's truly amazing to think that kids are born with no fear of anything. Another moment of AHA born from watching my kids gently interact with nature's creatures.
The bounce house still won the most kudos. I can't remember the last time I went in a bounce house. Maybe I'll consider renting one for our next birthday party, as long as I can afford one big enough to let the adults jump too.
More Simple AHA
Last night, I had dinner with some very dear friends. We sat outside at the picnic table and chatted, while watching the birds and squirrels run around the yard. It was simple, but it was nothing short of amazing. Spending time with close friends is always a moment of AHA, as is watching nature do it's thing.
I then went out to a local bar as part of reunion weekend. Had a good time meeting a few new people and catching up with some others whom I haven't seen in quite a while. I allowed myself to let go a little. I laughed, I chatted, I told a story or two, I had fun.
Today, I brought the kids with me and we went out to the reunion picnic. Unfortunately, it rained most of the day. But the picnic was still fun. I got to chat with more friends, and the kids had a great time blowing bubbles in the rain and sliding down the inflatable slide into a small ball pit. I tried teaching my youngest son how to blow bubbles, and he did it a few times, which was exhilarating. All that was my AHA- watching the kids bounce down the slide into the ball pit and screeching with joy, watching them blow and chase bubbles in a light, misty rain, and watching the youngest try and try to blow the bubbles out of the wand and seeing him not give up until it happened. Simple moments of happiness.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll drag out the gallon jug of bubble solution someone gave to us and we can find simple AHA again.
I then went out to a local bar as part of reunion weekend. Had a good time meeting a few new people and catching up with some others whom I haven't seen in quite a while. I allowed myself to let go a little. I laughed, I chatted, I told a story or two, I had fun.
Today, I brought the kids with me and we went out to the reunion picnic. Unfortunately, it rained most of the day. But the picnic was still fun. I got to chat with more friends, and the kids had a great time blowing bubbles in the rain and sliding down the inflatable slide into a small ball pit. I tried teaching my youngest son how to blow bubbles, and he did it a few times, which was exhilarating. All that was my AHA- watching the kids bounce down the slide into the ball pit and screeching with joy, watching them blow and chase bubbles in a light, misty rain, and watching the youngest try and try to blow the bubbles out of the wand and seeing him not give up until it happened. Simple moments of happiness.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll drag out the gallon jug of bubble solution someone gave to us and we can find simple AHA again.
Let Go and Have Fun
This weekend is my college reunion. Well, that's not entirely true. My college groups 3 classes together, so even though I graduated 14 years ago, my class is invited to the 15 year reunion of the Class of 1995. And the music fraternity I'm a member of is having a few reunion events. I am really looking forward to it, but a lot of friends I was hoping to see won't be there, which makes me sad. And a little nervous. I don't like being in situations by myself, meaning where I don't know (or don't know well) anyone else. I don't always make friends easily and - contrary to what others may tell you - I'm not much of a conversationalist when I don't know people. I know that there are going to be some people of the "younger generations" of the fraternity there... people I don't know (or don't know very well). [Anyone else seeing that "Worry" theme coming back into play?] I like making new friends, and getting to know people better, but in the back of my mind there's that nagging thought of "I hope I say the right thing. I hope they like me!"
Keeping in line with yesterday's thoughts, I need to just accept myself and accept that some people will like me and others may not. I have to learn how to let go and just let myself have fun instead of worrying about.... well, anything! Sometimes you just have to cut loose and not give a damn as to what others think. I've never sung karaoke because I've always been too self-conscious of what others will think of me. Who cares?? I'm trying to make it a goal of mine to just act how I want to act (within reason, of course!) and not really care what others think. Just go and let myself have fun. That's what it's all about. Yes, the bills need to be paid, and I have to go to work, and the kids need to be fed and chores need to be done, but if you can't have fun while doing all the things that need to be done, what's the point?? And this weekend is a perfect opportunity to let go and have fun. So, whatever it is you have planned for the weekend, make sure you have fun with it! It will be much more worth it if you do!
Keeping in line with yesterday's thoughts, I need to just accept myself and accept that some people will like me and others may not. I have to learn how to let go and just let myself have fun instead of worrying about.... well, anything! Sometimes you just have to cut loose and not give a damn as to what others think. I've never sung karaoke because I've always been too self-conscious of what others will think of me. Who cares?? I'm trying to make it a goal of mine to just act how I want to act (within reason, of course!) and not really care what others think. Just go and let myself have fun. That's what it's all about. Yes, the bills need to be paid, and I have to go to work, and the kids need to be fed and chores need to be done, but if you can't have fun while doing all the things that need to be done, what's the point?? And this weekend is a perfect opportunity to let go and have fun. So, whatever it is you have planned for the weekend, make sure you have fun with it! It will be much more worth it if you do!
Standards of My Own
I worry. A lot. Usually about really ridiculous things. I worry about the big things, too, like paying bills and feeding my kids and taking care of my house and how much college tuition will be when my 2-year-old turns 18.... OK, that's a little over the top, I know. My point is, I'm a worrier. Always have been, most likely always will be. But, as I said, some of my worries stem from really stupid things. Like whether people like me or not, if I said the right thing in a conversation, if my clothes are "cool"... basically I worry about what other people think of me. I don't consider myself a "fake" person and I don't really think that I spend a lot of time pretending to care about things that I don't like just for the sake of having someone accept me, but I think about it a lot. I hold myself to other's standards. So, what are my standards? If I'm always holding myself up to the standards of someone else, I don't really have any of my own. And that's not good.
I have to be able to accept myself - as is - and let others make the choice to accept me, too. If I decide I don't like something, then I change it. I can't spend my life worrying about what other people think of me, or whether I'm living up to their standards. I have to set my own standards.
There's more I want to add to this, but it will have to wait. My brain is tired out, and shutting down. AHA for the day is accept yourself. Set your own standards. It's OK to admire other people, and use other people's standards as guides for your own. But don't let anyone else determine what's good or bad about you. You figure that part out yourself. Then accept yourself, flaws and all, and live to let the world see the aspects of yourself that you are most proud of. Because we all have reasons to be proud.
I have to be able to accept myself - as is - and let others make the choice to accept me, too. If I decide I don't like something, then I change it. I can't spend my life worrying about what other people think of me, or whether I'm living up to their standards. I have to set my own standards.
There's more I want to add to this, but it will have to wait. My brain is tired out, and shutting down. AHA for the day is accept yourself. Set your own standards. It's OK to admire other people, and use other people's standards as guides for your own. But don't let anyone else determine what's good or bad about you. You figure that part out yourself. Then accept yourself, flaws and all, and live to let the world see the aspects of yourself that you are most proud of. Because we all have reasons to be proud.
Facing Confrontation and Accepting the Outcome
I've never been one to have much to do with confrontation. In fact, I usually run from the very first sign of it and bury my head in the sand. I'm kind of a coward in that way. And after all these years of running away from confrontation as best I can, I've been thinking that in the end I had learned something from said confrontation. But, I've come to realize that I haven't actually learned as much as I had thought. Rather, I have quite a lot to learn about myself, and others, and relationships and confrontation and resolution. (Didn't they ever cover all this in school?)
Last night, I had a very large, very ugly argument with someone I've been good friends with for quite a long time. It hurt to be so angry with them, and part of me was angry as a result of their actions and words, and part of me was angry at me... for being angry with them. When I finally went to bed, I was very sad and very exhausted. When I woke up this morning, despite my best efforts to take on a "It's a new day" kind of attitude, I was still in a bad mood when I got to work. And I had all day to sit at my desk and dwell on the things that were said and the feelings that eroded out of that argument. And it did not make for very happy moments. In fact, I spent most of the morning wanting to hide in a studio and cry. However, as the day went on and I looked at the situation a little differently, I began to understand that I didn't have to dwell on the bad things and let myself continue to be in a bad mood because of something that happened the day before. The argument was gone. But how I chose to handle it in the present was still up in the air. I could continue to be in a bad mood and mope about all the mistakes that I made and things that I said that I shouldn't have. Or I could own up to my stupid actions, sincerely apologize, let myself get over it and hope my friend did the same. So I wrote a letter of apology. Not typed on the computer, but handwritten. I explained exactly what it was that I did that I felt was inappropriate, something I could have done to handle the situation better, and my aspirations for how to handle a difficult situation like that again in the future. I wanted my friend to know that I understood and regretted the actions I chose in the heat of the angry moment. I wanted them to know that my behavior towards them was unacceptable if I wanted to continue a good friendship with them. And I wanted them to know how I plan to change my behavior if/when we are faced with a similar situation.
I think writing that letter lifted a burden off my shoulders, as I felt better the rest of the afternoon and was even in a pretty good mood when I got home. On my way home, I stopped by their house and gave the letter to them. I haven't spoken to them about it, and maybe that's ok. The past is past, and I need to learn to just accept things and move on. You'd think by now I would have learned that, but then I go and open my mouth when I'm angry and say stupid things and start stupid fights. I know that my relationship with this person is not 100% repaired. I hope that if I can just let the past go, learn from my mistakes, and do my best to treat them in the best manner possible, that we will again have a solid, reliable friendship. I also hope that if I do those things, my friend will too. And if they can't let the past go or forgive me for things that I did, then I need to accept that our friendship may not be the same as it was. But I need to continue to treat them the best I can. Because they are a friend, and they are an important part of my life. So much of who we are is built around the friends we keep. But we cannot make choices for other people, and (no matter how hard we may try) we can't truly control what someone else will do. We have to make our own choices, and accept that others make theirs.
Tomorrow is another day, and I will try again to do my best.
Last night, I had a very large, very ugly argument with someone I've been good friends with for quite a long time. It hurt to be so angry with them, and part of me was angry as a result of their actions and words, and part of me was angry at me... for being angry with them. When I finally went to bed, I was very sad and very exhausted. When I woke up this morning, despite my best efforts to take on a "It's a new day" kind of attitude, I was still in a bad mood when I got to work. And I had all day to sit at my desk and dwell on the things that were said and the feelings that eroded out of that argument. And it did not make for very happy moments. In fact, I spent most of the morning wanting to hide in a studio and cry. However, as the day went on and I looked at the situation a little differently, I began to understand that I didn't have to dwell on the bad things and let myself continue to be in a bad mood because of something that happened the day before. The argument was gone. But how I chose to handle it in the present was still up in the air. I could continue to be in a bad mood and mope about all the mistakes that I made and things that I said that I shouldn't have. Or I could own up to my stupid actions, sincerely apologize, let myself get over it and hope my friend did the same. So I wrote a letter of apology. Not typed on the computer, but handwritten. I explained exactly what it was that I did that I felt was inappropriate, something I could have done to handle the situation better, and my aspirations for how to handle a difficult situation like that again in the future. I wanted my friend to know that I understood and regretted the actions I chose in the heat of the angry moment. I wanted them to know that my behavior towards them was unacceptable if I wanted to continue a good friendship with them. And I wanted them to know how I plan to change my behavior if/when we are faced with a similar situation.
I think writing that letter lifted a burden off my shoulders, as I felt better the rest of the afternoon and was even in a pretty good mood when I got home. On my way home, I stopped by their house and gave the letter to them. I haven't spoken to them about it, and maybe that's ok. The past is past, and I need to learn to just accept things and move on. You'd think by now I would have learned that, but then I go and open my mouth when I'm angry and say stupid things and start stupid fights. I know that my relationship with this person is not 100% repaired. I hope that if I can just let the past go, learn from my mistakes, and do my best to treat them in the best manner possible, that we will again have a solid, reliable friendship. I also hope that if I do those things, my friend will too. And if they can't let the past go or forgive me for things that I did, then I need to accept that our friendship may not be the same as it was. But I need to continue to treat them the best I can. Because they are a friend, and they are an important part of my life. So much of who we are is built around the friends we keep. But we cannot make choices for other people, and (no matter how hard we may try) we can't truly control what someone else will do. We have to make our own choices, and accept that others make theirs.
Tomorrow is another day, and I will try again to do my best.
Simplest Joys = Greatest AHAs
Today's AHA moment is another example of the simple joys of life. The kids and I got to pick strawberries out of my aunt's garden. How wonderful! Me, my 3 kids, my aunt, my uncle and my cousin were all rummaging around the garden looking for the best red strawberries we could find. We all had a great time, and we all (except my daughter) loved eating the berries, straight off the plant. Ahhh, the simple joys of summer.
That's it. Picking strawberries = AHA. Cheers!
AHA of a 9-Year-Old
Today, I'm having my 9-year-old son help "guest write" for me. Here's our interview.
Me: What things do you accept, even if you don't like them?
Son: When I don't do my homework, and I have to stay in for free time at school. When I'm sick and I have to take medicine that tastes yucky.
Me: What things make you happy?
Son: My family, because they are fun and friendly and lovable. Playing outside on a warm day. Sleeping at my Gramma and Grampa's. Video games. Looking at the stars at night.
Me: What things are you appreciative of?
Son: What does that mean?
Me: That means things that you're thankful for.
Son: Everything that I said I liked, pretty much.
Me: Anything else you want to add?
Son: No, not that I can think of.
Me: Ok. Thanks for doing an interview with me.
Sometimes to get the AHA moment, we have to take a step back and look at things in a simpler way. We each have days that are boring, or things that happen to us that put us in a bad mood, and sometimes it's hard to find those bright AHA moments. But if we can just remember that we all have friends and family and simple things (like video games or playing outside) that make us happy, we can lift ourselves out of the doldrums and give ourselves reasons to be happy again.
Me: What things do you accept, even if you don't like them?
Son: When I don't do my homework, and I have to stay in for free time at school. When I'm sick and I have to take medicine that tastes yucky.
Me: What things make you happy?
Son: My family, because they are fun and friendly and lovable. Playing outside on a warm day. Sleeping at my Gramma and Grampa's. Video games. Looking at the stars at night.
Me: What things are you appreciative of?
Son: What does that mean?
Me: That means things that you're thankful for.
Son: Everything that I said I liked, pretty much.
Me: Anything else you want to add?
Son: No, not that I can think of.
Me: Ok. Thanks for doing an interview with me.
Sometimes to get the AHA moment, we have to take a step back and look at things in a simpler way. We each have days that are boring, or things that happen to us that put us in a bad mood, and sometimes it's hard to find those bright AHA moments. But if we can just remember that we all have friends and family and simple things (like video games or playing outside) that make us happy, we can lift ourselves out of the doldrums and give ourselves reasons to be happy again.
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