I worry. A lot. Usually about really ridiculous things. I worry about the big things, too, like paying bills and feeding my kids and taking care of my house and how much college tuition will be when my 2-year-old turns 18.... OK, that's a little over the top, I know. My point is, I'm a worrier. Always have been, most likely always will be. But, as I said, some of my worries stem from really stupid things. Like whether people like me or not, if I said the right thing in a conversation, if my clothes are "cool"... basically I worry about what other people think of me. I don't consider myself a "fake" person and I don't really think that I spend a lot of time pretending to care about things that I don't like just for the sake of having someone accept me, but I think about it a lot. I hold myself to other's standards. So, what are my standards? If I'm always holding myself up to the standards of someone else, I don't really have any of my own. And that's not good.
I have to be able to accept myself - as is - and let others make the choice to accept me, too. If I decide I don't like something, then I change it. I can't spend my life worrying about what other people think of me, or whether I'm living up to their standards. I have to set my own standards.
There's more I want to add to this, but it will have to wait. My brain is tired out, and shutting down. AHA for the day is accept yourself. Set your own standards. It's OK to admire other people, and use other people's standards as guides for your own. But don't let anyone else determine what's good or bad about you. You figure that part out yourself. Then accept yourself, flaws and all, and live to let the world see the aspects of yourself that you are most proud of. Because we all have reasons to be proud.
I never knew you worried so much. I worry about things like that too...and my heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head -- "accept yourself!" But, if you figure out how, will you let the rest of us in on the secret?
Seriously, though...Kate, you are a wonderful person and have much to be proud of! (And, ummm, not because someone else said so! LOL)
You do realize that you come by the worrying naturally - your mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother have spent years trying to perfect the art of worrying! But you're a step ahead of us because you realize that you have to choose what you worry about. Don't sweat the small stuff (and 90% of it is small stuff!).
ReplyDeleteEveryone with small children worries about the distant future. So the challenge is to live today happily without letting tomorrow's worries cloud your perspective. If you spend the whole day worrying about something that hasn't happened yet, and miss some of the purely joyful moments in your daily life because of that, you've pretty much wasted the day.
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