I have gotten quite a few comments on various posts on this blog, all of which I appreciate. A few things have been pointed out to me that I would like to take note of.
In a personal message, a friend questioned why I put on the "happy face Kate" in just about every post and said she felt that I should rant a bit more. She also said that I spend a lot of time beating myself up over not being sunshiney all the time and not knowing what makes me happy. And she is absolutely right. One comment I received on yesterday's post reads, "Our lives change all the time... Life would be immensely dull and safe if change did not occur." This, too, is absolutely right. I have spent the past 6+ months telling myself that I need to be happy and positive all the time. This, of course, is not right. Everyone has down days, everyone gets upset. Everyone. Even the man who said in a seminar, "Everything is awesome, amazing and beautiful!" has a bad day now and then, I'm sure. I am proud of the changes that I have made within myself and I am enjoying a new outlook on life, as best as possible. But I am in completely new territory. I am still learning how to adjust to changes in my life and how best to deal with them. Sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I get angry. Sometimes I just have to give myself a break and accept that these things are ok!
I have always been a private person. When I decided to start this blog, I realized that it could potentially reach thousands of people and they would all know any and everything about my life if I let them. I have done my best to protect those who are close to me, not speak badly of anyone and not air out my dirtiest, angriest secrets to the world. That's not who I am. Why I didn't make this a private blog, I'm not really sure. But I think that in part, having this be an open blog has helped me deal with my anger and negative feelings in a constructive way because I don't allow myself to go deep into specifics. Those who need to know, know. Getting past the hurt and negativity is not about "So and so did this or said that and hurt me." In any conflict, there are 2 sides. I have questioned and disagreed with the actions and decisions of others, but I have also made my mistakes. Whether I realized it at the time or not, I have also hurt others. I have my own responsibility for things that have happened in my life. And that's ok. I have regretted some of my actions and words, but for the most part, I have resolved them as best I can and moved on.
Change is inevitable, every day. No matter what plans we make, things rarely go exactly the way we intend them to. And, yes, life would be pretty boring otherwise. A certain amount of negativity is also inevitable, I think. Life would also be pretty boring if we were all happy every moment of every day. These things are acceptable, so long as we don't allow ourselves to sit and dwell on them for long periods of time. Recognize the not-so-good things, acknowledge them, decide how to handle them, take mental note of them, then put them away and move on. Let go. I have to tell myself that every single day. Let go. Then be ready to embrace whatever else is thrown at you.
Thank you for the comments and messages. I do appreciate them.
Cheers!
Maybe you need a second blog :) :)
ReplyDeleteI have one word "wow". That was deep and heart felt. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteIt's twue, it's twue!! It's OK to have all those "negative" feelings - they are only "negative" if we feed them - then they grow bigger and more powerful and it's more likely that we will act out of them. Do you know the story of the Cherekee Indian grandfather? Great parable. I use it a lot in my work with people. Let me know if you don't know it and want to.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Carol