Courage

A day or two ago, I saw on Facebook a status update on a page dedicated to positivity that said something to the effect of "Be creative, post your own quote using the word courage." So I did.  I put the first thing that came to mind, which was "Courage is doing what needs to be done no matter how much it scares you."  Then I posted the second thing that came mind: "Sometimes closing your eyes and jumping in can be more courageous than keeping your eyes open and walking away."  There are currently 1,455 comments on this particular post. 

Courage is an interesting virtue.  It can come in many forms and be displayed in many ways.  To a 2-year-old, courage could mean petting the neighbor's 100-pound, slobbery Rottweiler, despite the fact that he might be the sweetest dog on the face of the planet.  In the preschool and elementary world, courage sometimes means being in the spotlight in front of others, like for a dance recital or to recite some lines in front of your schoolmates. To a teen, courage might be asking someone out on a date.  In my 20s, courage meant learning to do things on my own, without my parents, like taking a job and moving to Florida.  Now, to me, courage is facing what I know needs to be done, whether I want to face it or not.  And it takes courage to not only face what needs to be done, but to DO what needs to be done.  That can take a lot of courage.

Growing up I don't think 'courageous' is a word I would have used to describe myself.  I used to think of courageous people as people like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, and the comic superhero type... people who willingly and loudly stood up to adversity, regardless of what consequences it might bring.  For a very long time, I was not one of those people.  I have learned, however, that it does not take a significant "the world is gonna end" kind of event in order to be able to display courage. 

When my oldest was very little, his dad encouraged him to investigate and explore the local wildlife, such as garter snakes, ants and spiders.  I'm not a big fan of snakes (even little ones), ants or spiders.  But I didn't want my anxiety to rub off on my son, so I would "bravely" stand back and point out all the cool little bugs and other assorted creepy-crawly things that he could look at.  I never wanted him to fear bugs, or creepy-crawly things.  And, for the most part, he doesn't.  I had to summon a bit of courage to supress any screams I wanted to let out, when he would hold his hand up and say, "Mama, look what I found!"  Instead of screaming, I would smile and say, "That's great.  Make sure you leave it outside."  Not the end of the world.  But still courageous.

My daughter was destined to dance, and we enrolled her when she was 2.  "Dancing on the big stage" was a big deal, and we had to talk it up in a very positive light so she wouldn't freak out at her first dance recital.  I don't sit in the spotlight very often.  I have often backed away from solos, acting in general, dancing in front of people, and many other activities that would cause a large group of people to focus mainly on me.  However, I was not going to let my shyness deter my daughter from getting on the stage and dancing her little heart out.  So I talked about the stage often, and told her how much fun it was going to be to dance, and how proud I am of her, and how she's gonna be super brave and do an awesome job.  I don't think she's quite as shy as I am, but our pep talks seemed to work.  Her first recital, she did do a great job.  She wasn't the most outgoing little girl up there, but she didn't seem at all scared.  At the end of the recital, her aunts (who were instructors) called her front and center to bring some flowers to one of the directors.  Without hesitation, she walked across the stage, in front of all the other dancers, took the flowers from her aunt, then crossed the stage to the other side to deliver them to the director.  As she was crossing toward the director, she glanced out into the audience, and a look came over her face.  Not one of apprehension, but of pride.  She lifted her head just a little, smiled and slowed down her pace.  She practically strutted across the stage.  Not the end of the world, but still courageous.

In the past 12 or so months, I've had to find the courage to look deep inside myself.  I've had to find the courage to face, then accept or change things about myself I didn't like.  It took a lot of courage that I didn't think I had in me, but I have changed a number of things.  And I have accepted other things.  I have faced things I didn't want to face, and done things I didn't want to do.  I have found lots of ways, big and little, to be courageous.  And I've enjoyed the empowerment that courage can bring.  I'm still no Martin Luther King Jr, and solos on a "big stage" in front of a large group of people still kind of frighten me, but I have no doubt that if something needs to be done, I can find the courage to do it.  Jump in.  It might not be the end of the world, but there is always a way to be courageous.