Follow Your Heart and You'll Never Get Lost

I've been thinking a lot about some of the posts and statuses I see from some of my friends on Facebook (yes, I do this quite often, as you may be able to tell). Today's theme: follow your heart. Find the joy. Discover what makes you truly happy and let your heart lead you there.

This all sounds very nice, indeed, but my problem is I'm not really sure I know what makes me truly happy. And if I don't know that, I can't let my heart lead me there, because my heart is just about as messed up as anything right now and probably couldn't find it's own way out of a paper bag, let alone figure out where to go to make me happy.

My answer right off the bat: Friends. Being surrounded by people I love and who love me makes me unconditionally happy. (I'm sure you probably could have gathered that from previous posts, too. Not a shocker, I know.) My kids. As much as they can drive me crazy, they have been my salvation countless times this year. I bought a shirt for my youngest that says "Mommy's Super Hero" soley for the fact that he really has been a hero to me. He's let me cry to him without asking what's wrong. He can crack me up at just the right moment. He smiles at me and I completely melt. Not that my other two haven't been wonderful, and as any parent will tell you, I love my children all the same... there's just something about my little Moose. He's helped me immensely through my challenges, without having any clue.

So... am I suppose to just follow my kids around and latch on to whatever friends I can find? Will that make me forever happy? I doubt it. And I'm sure that neither my kids nor my friends would want me around them all the time. I'd probably be short on friends pretty darn quick. Back to square 1. What makes me happy and how can I achieve that?

Much like those not-true-to-life sitcoms that everyone loves, I like to wrap up the essence of a day's post in a short amount of time. However, I'm sorry to say, this one is not so easy. I really need to contemplate what it is that I derive enjoyment from, and I have to say that in and of itself kind of makes me anxious. If I have to think so hard about what makes me happy... well, does that mean that maybe I've never been truly happy? If I don't really know, then maybe I haven't experienced it yet. Too much pensiveness for such a late hour. I'm gonna have to sleep on this, and try to get back to you soon. To Be Continued...