The "Perfect" Gift

Christmas shopping stresses me out. I am notorious for being a last minute Christmas shopper. There has been a time or two when I'm the poor sap pounding on a storefront door at closing time on Christmas eve, pleading to be let in. I also don't consider myself a very intuitive shopper, most of the time. There are those people who can walk into a store and within 15 minutes find the "perfect" gift for someone. I am not usually one of those people. I'm the type that has to search and search, then spend an hour deciding if I should actually get it or not.


There have, however, also been times when I thought that I had come up with the "perfect" gift. Cognitively, I know that the point of giving gifts is not to win any sort of contest or to prove "I'm better than you" or anything like that. But somehow, sometimes, I can't help but wonder if my gifts are "good enough." If the intended recipient will hold the same meaning for the gift that I do. If the gift will be as "perfect" as I think it is.
I also know that gift-giving isn't always about the money that's spent or buying material objects just to say you bought another person a gift. Gift-giving is about giving part of you. Showering your friends and loved ones with objects, gestures, thoughts, or actions that make them happy, that bring them joy. The beauty of giving gifts from the heart is that it makes you happy, as well as the recipient. And that's what it's all about- spreading joy, happiness and love.


I try to make a lot of gifts for Christmas. And I ask my kids to do the same. For me, having something made by the kids far outweighs any amount of money someone could spend. I've tried hard to teach my kids the spirit of giving. We've done Toys for Tots, and I've explained that we are buying a small gift for a child who doesn't have as much as we do. Last year, I handed my 9-year-old the card-making supplies and let him do his own. I hang the homemade ornaments from school on the tree proudly. The spirit of giving is so important, and in my opinion, too many kids are either losing that spirit or not getting it in the first place. Not my kids. At least not while they live with me. Both the older ones have offered at various times to give toys or clothes that have become unwanted or outgrown to a friend. Even if we don't always follow through, I think it's incredibly awesome that the thought pattern is in their head to offer it. That says something about them. And that makes me proud.

We've been trying to brainstorm some things that we could get or make for various family members for Christmas this year. My kids have actually come up with some pretty decent ideas. And they say they are willing to help bake cookies, put up the tree and decorate the house. (We'll see how well all that goes.) We're probably going to do Toys for Tots or some other similar program. We'll give homebaked cookies to the neighbors. We'll make our Christmas cards. Doing these types of projects with the kids is what makes the holidays special to me. And it teaches them - AND me - that it doesn't matter if the gift itself is "good enough" but rather if the act of creating and giving makes those involved happy enough. Give with love. That's all that matters.