Follow Your Heart, Continued

For the past 24 hours or so, I have thought about what it is that makes me happy. I'm sad to say that I still don't have a definite answer. I'm an "instant gratification" kind of person, and I like to see results right away. Life doesn't always work like that - in fact, it rarely does - and that gets frustrating to me. Along this journey, I've been forced to practice patience and I've had to accept that I am not in control many times. I suppose that discovering what truly makes one's heart happy is not an instant gratification kind of thing. It's not like answering the question, "What's your favorite color?" Life hands us a great many things. We have to sift through all of them and decide what makes us happy, what makes us unhappy, what empowers us, what intimidates us, etc. And that can be a daunting and difficult task at times.

I spent a good part of the afternoon at a friend's house, hanging out with college friends, some of whom I haven't seen in quite a while. We talked about college, professors, bands we were in, friends, families, pets, spouses, food and more. It was great to laugh at the stories and to learn things about my friends that I hadn't known before. I brought a couple scrapbooks for everyone to look at, and we reminisced about the events. Once again, being with friends made me happy.

Another thing that I get great joy from is scrapbooking. The act of scrapbooking itself is quite therapeutic and relaxing to me, but also seeing others react to the things that I've created is fulfilling as well. I feel a sense of purpose when my kids "oooh" and "ahhh" over themselves and each other as babies, when my friends can relive memories that were captured in the photos, or when family members express their appreciation for gifts that I've made. A few years ago, I made a small desk calendar for my parents and my in-laws, which contained a calendar grid for each month and pictures of my kids on one side, and a picture or two on the other side with some sort of inspirational or funny quote that embodied the essence of the photos. (This type of project has sort of become my specialty, as I love gathering photos of my kids and quotes.) My mother-in-law was incredibly impressed and I believed she cried, as I knew she would (because that's just her personality). The big surprise came from my dad, who very rarely shows a large change in emotion. I watched as he inspected each picture very closely, and I could tell that he was extremely impressed and grateful. He said, "Katie, this is great. Really great." at least a few times. That made me feel good. Really good.

I am not a "sales" kind of person. I think the fact that I have been a Creative Memories consultant for 5 years and have consistently struggled to get my monthly sales close to $1000 says something to my salesmanship. I very rarely flaunt the work that I do. But I love, love, love making photo projects, I think I'm pretty good at it, I love helping others create something with their photos, and I absolutely love seeing how people react to receiving something that has such a personal touch and special meaning. THAT makes my heart soar with happiness. When I do talk about it, it's not in a "buy stuff from me" kind of way. It's more of a "this is what I can do with it and why I love it" kind of way. Because I guess that is my passion. Photos have always been an important part of my life. Being able to create with them, while remembering the stories that go with them, gives me an incredible feeling of satisfaction.

So, while I suppose I really can't latch myself onto my kids or my friends, I can hold on tight to the memories that I make with them. I can surround myself with pages, books, calendars and mugs that display exactly what I love about them. I can help others do the same. I guess instant gratification wasn't as far away as I thought.