Falling Together

I met a wonderful young woman who is quite a bit younger than I am, and the more we talk, the more we realize that we have a lot of things in common. We have experienced some of the same situations, same insecurities, same emotions, same interests, even some of the same friends... even though we are at very different stages in our lives. If you ask me, she is wise beyond her years, and she has helped me immensely in the 2 months or so that I have known her.

The other day, I read something that she had written that really resonated with me: "I was so wrapped up in a world of shortsightedness that I felt like I was going no where fast. Now I am beginning to see that I was going somewhere, or rather that I am going somewhere. My mind is just boggled because if I think back to when I felt like my world was falling apart, I understand now that it was actually falling together."

Personal situations in her life led her to various places and inevitably to meeting me. Not that meeting me is the end-all be-all to anyone's life, but I think that our paths crossed at just the right time when we both needed one another. Only we didn't know it until we met.

I have felt like my world has been slowly falling apart since January. I've been up and down the emotional roller coaster more times than I care to count. I have acted and reacted in some ways that are... out of character, let's say. I have felt happier than I have been in quite a long time, and I have cried until I was sure my eyes would pop out. But then, when I take a step back I think, "Is it really all that bad?"

Yes, on some levels it is bad. I've been heartbroken. My world was definitely shaken up. But on other levels, it's still all ok. In the grand scheme of things, it's actually pretty minor. And in fact, in some ways, I am in a better place than I was a year ago. It's always hard to see the forest through the trees, and situations are always worse when you're going through them than they seem to be a few years down the road. I still have many wonderful things in my life. I have gained some friends, some knowledge, and an outlook that I wouldn't have had otherwise. My children still love me, and I them. My family still loves me, and I them. And the friends that matter the most to me still love me, and I them.

I am still able to do the things I enjoy, some a bit more. I am still able to share my enjoyments with those around me. My life has taken a completely different course than I ever - EVER - imagined it would. But rather than falling apart, I have to believe that it is falling together. The wound is still fresh, and sometimes it's difficult for me to completely accept that that is true, but cognitively I do know that the path I am on will take me to where I need to be. And by understanding that, and doing my best to keep a positive attitude, no matter what is thrown at me, I will be able to confidently say that I ended up in the best possible place I could be.

Life has been good to me. My new friend is also my new hero. Like I said, wise beyond her years. I hate that I have lost parts of my life that were very important to me, but I am grateful for the opportunities that have resulted. Even in moments of doubt, when life is falling together in unexpected ways, there is AHA to be found.